Collateral(movie)

Cars speed past my apartment, the sound of horns, squealing tires, and rumbling engines tearing through the thin walls surrounding my bedroom. I stare up at the ceiling, a balance between weed and sleep deprivation keeping any of the noise from truly annoying me. Fuck, what time is it? I reach over to my phone resting on the nightstand and turn it on, a big 6:45 covering the screen.

Three hours. You’ve been layin here for three hours, man. You gotta get up. You’re not any more safe in here than you are anywhere else. Might as well stop bein a fuckin bum.

I stare off into space for another moment, before forcing myself to get out of bed. The floor feels cold against my feet as I walk to the kitchen. I fill my coffee maker and turn it on, leaning over against the counter as I listen to the sound of the machine running. I fight to keep my eyes open, with the dripping sound coming from in front of me nearly lulling me to sleep. “Come on, man, wake up.”

After a moment, the dripping sound stops and I look up again and grab the pot out of its place. I pour all the liquid inside into a big open cup sitting on the counter. I slip into autopilot, quickly mixing creamer and sugar into the drink and putting the lid on the cup. The sound of cars still cuts through into my kitchen, as I take a drink of my coffee. That’s... not right. Fuck, what is wrong with this stuff?

I stare down accusingly at my coffee for a moment, before getting the creamer out of the fridge again and actually checking the sell by date on the bottle. And it’s a month out of date. Of course it fuckin is. God, I should know myself better than this. I toss the bottle into the trash and pour the coffee down the sink drain, my hope of feeling at all human in the next few hours going with both of them. “Fuck, now what do I do?”

I pull myself back across the room and quickly get myself dressed, throwing on jeans, a tight black t-shirt, and my tennis shoes. I grab my keys, phone, and wallet off of my dresser and head out the door, trying to forget my wasted coffee. Conversations from the rooms around me echo through the halls, as I head through them to the door.

As I get down to the lobby, I notice one of my ex-boyfriends, Javon, talking to a woman I don’t recognize off to the side of the room. I keep my head down and try to ignore him, knowing that any attention I give him would be playing right into his hands. Before I can get myself out of the doors, I hear him tell his companion to wait a minute, before the sound of footsteps grows louder behind me. I freeze in place, knowing that trying to get away would just make him more annoying.

“Jaden,” he calls. I don’t turn around to him, not wanting to play any more part in this than I’m **** to.

“Hey, Javon.”

“How’s it goin, man? Haven’t seen you in a while,” he remarks, coming up beside me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Wonder why, you fucking dickhead. I sigh and resign myself to the fact that I have to deal with him now if I want to have any sense of peace for the next week.

“It’s goin alright, man.” I start walking towards the door again as I talk, praying I can get far enough out to disappear into a crowd. “Look, I really have to get goin I have-”

“Where are you headed to? Last time I checked, you didn’t have a whole lot goin for you on Saturdays.” Javon tightens his grip on me and stops me in my tracks. I clench my jaw and fight the urge to yell at him, knowing it would only make this whole thing a lot worse for me. Fuck, where am I going? Shit. Come on, you’ve lied to this man before, you can do it again.

“My older brother’s in town for a few days for one of his college friends’ wedding. We were gonna go out for dinner since the ceremony isn’t ‘til Monday.” He’s silent for a moment, likely trying to figure out what to say. I start trying to inch to the door, taking his silence as a queue to go. He stays still and doesn’t stop me for long enough to let me actually get out the door, before grabbing onto my shirt and catching up to me.

I look out hopelessly at the crowd of people and cars in front of me, briefly making eye contact with a cab driver picking up a passenger on the street in front of me. He gives me a little wave, before driving off.

“Can I come with?” This motherfucker.

My eyes turn to a cop walking down the street talking almost angrily into a cell phone. The thought of asking him for help crosses my mind, but it’s quickly stomped out when he walks too far into the fray for me to see him anymore. And there goes my only hope. Great.

“I- Come on, man. I haven’t seen him since he got deployed three years ago, I’d really like some alone

time with him.”

“What, are you fuckin your brother?” I stare over his shoulder for a moment, trying to calm myself

and figure out what to say to him.

My eyes land on a grey-haired man in a suit standing behind Javon. We make eye contact and he

mimes pulling out a gun and shooting at the man directly in front of me. I give him a little smirk, holding back laughter. He smiles back at me, before silently asking me if I need help. I shake my head, knowing that he can’t save me in the long run, and he waves and heads back on his way. Javon turns around, looking for the man who’d already disappeared back into the crowd of people rushing down the streets. “What’s so funny?”

“Just saw a guy on a skateboard wipeout and eat shit. Anyway, man I really gotta get goin, I’m already kinda late.” I start walking off again, managing to escape his grasp and disappear into the fast moving crowd. The group of people around me conceals me from the crazy man I just escaped from, giving me an opportunity to get away from him.

I walk down a few blocks, looking over my shoulder every once in a while, praying I don’t see Javon again. I stop on a corner after a moment, trying to figure out where I want to go. This is why you don’t leave the house without a plan, dumbass. The lack of caffeine or any will to live in my system starts to weigh on my shoulders, turning my thoughts to where I can get a fix of something to pick me up.