Class Part 2

“Background info about my body. I am a healthy 18 year old boy, and aside from a serious case of pneumonia when I was 9, I’ve had no major illnesses. We’ll start with my head and face.”

“I have straight brown hair, usually I keep it cut very short, almost shaved, but I’ve been growing it out.” There was a murmur of approval, but no note taking, so Sam quickly continued.

“I wear glasses because I have a slight astigmatism, and my eyes are light brown.” Two hands came up. “Can you remove your glasses?” Said the first. Sam did. He caught a whisper that said “...better without them...” and a few giggles.

He felt his face warm up a little, so he quickly put the glasses back on and called on the second girl.

“Is it true boys don’t have brains?”

There was an immediate burst of laughter at the question and Sam felt his face get hot, a sure sign he was blushing. He looked at the girl, and was surprised to see not malice, but innocent embarrassment on her face.

‘Of course.’ Thought Sam. ‘She’s a citizen. She probably heard a girl say that and took it literally.’

Sam decided to take the question seriously, as soon as the laughter and chatter died down. “Boys do have brains. Fun tidbit about that, a boy’s brain accounts for 2% of his body weight, while a girl’s accounts for 2.5% of hers. Before you get too excited, though, most boys weigh more, so generally they weigh the same.”

There was laughter again, but it felt more friendly. One girl declared that pizza was logically the perfect study food, which the class solemnly agreed with, Sam included.

“Anyway, uh...well, you’ll notice I don’t have a beard. Unfortunately I can’t grow one.” He saw hands go up.

“Can you smile and show your teeth?” Said one girl. For some reason it felt weird to him but he complied. He could pick out compliments among the chatter, but after a few seconds he moved on.

“If you can’t grow a beard, does that mean you can’t grow any body hair?” Victoria was asking this time.

“W-Well, I don’t have a lot of it, no. But we’ll get to that.” He said. No more hands raised. He thought he’d seen more up, but now they weren’t. He shrugged it off and kept going.

“My neck, not too much to say there, i think boys necks are generally thicker than girls necks, but that’s it. Erm, my arms. I have pretty sparse hair on them, I guess. Oh, my skin is rather tan and I have more pronounced muscles. A bit of that is how male bodies default to, but another part is that I regularly engage in outdoor exercise.”

“What kind?”

“Swimming and baseball.” Sam answered automatically. The question may have been leaning a bit on the personal side but he didn’t mind.

“My hands are a bit bigger than-“

“Wait, wait, hold on.” One girl taking notes said, and a few girls agreed. Sam was still very surprised. Was he really that interesting? After a moment, he picked up again.

“I guess I should say men’s hands are a bit bigger than women’s, and you could make the argument they’re a bit clumsier than women’s hands as well.”

“I can confirm that.” Said a girl in the back. There was a second of silence and then an eruption of laughter. Sam took longer than the girls to get it, but snorted when he did.

It took few minutes for the lesson to get back on track.

“Yeah my feet are a bit bigger than most women’s as well. Yes?” He asked, pointing at a student with her hand raised.

“Is it true if a boy has big feet, it means he has a big...you know, penis?” The girl asked shyly. This gave way to a dozen quiet conversations but Sam quickly said “Uh, that’s just an old wives’ tale.”

“What’s that?”

Sam realized he had just put himself in a precarious spot and coughed to give himself a second to think.

“I probably shouldn’t use that term, it’s rather sexist. I should say ‘it’s just an old belief’ but anyway, foot size and penis size are unrelated.”

To his relief the class responded well to this, and didn’t seem to hold his mistake against him. He idly waited for the girls to finish taking notes, then remembered what must logically come next.

He felt his face get hot and he felt sweat on his forehead. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it off over his head. The girls in class had a range of reactions across the board. Everything from studious appreciation, to neutral expressions, to smug smiles, to the occasional catcall.