Chloe and the Family

Chloe ran her hands over the front of her dress for the dozenth time in as many minutes. Unlike our date from Friday, this was a more modest one that still highlighted certain areas of her body. Once more, I was reminded that Chloe was as physically attractive as her noise. I should pay more attention to that.

“You look perfect,” I said, running my hand along her back to rest on her waist. Her noise was warm and appreciative. “No need to be nervous. You’ve met them before.”

“I wasn’t your girlfriend then.”

“True, but you are the same woman you were then. All you ever need to do is be yourself.”

Her head turned, looking up at me as her eyes ran over my face. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

“A mutual desire,” I said as I leaned in. Her hand kept me at bay.

“Put that on pause. They’re here.”

My head turned in the direction she was looking and found Sophie with her arm hooked around Daniel’s. Once more, Chloe’s noise had blinded me to the larger world. Now that I was looking, I could see the joy in my aunt’s noise as she saw us.

“Chloe!” she said, releasing her husband’s arms to close the distance. There was a jolt of surprise in Chloe as she was wrapped in a careful hug. “So good to see you again.”

“Same,” Chloe responded with a nervous glance in my direction.

“I hope you like fondue.”

“To be honest, I’ve never had it.” Her voice was softer than I was used to and her anxiety was making waves in her noise as she struggled against it. I automatically took her hand in mine and scooted closer to her.

“You are in for a treat!” Daniel said, catching up after his wife abandoned him. “Been a bit since we were last here, but the food is delicious.”

Sophie wasn’t paying him any attention. Her eyes were on me and how I had reached for Chloe. “Why don’t we head inside?” she said, stepping back to join Daniel. Her noise had elements of reassurance and was generally upbeat.

Inside, we were ushered to a private table. Drinks and dinner were ordered and our conversation was light. Sophie waited until the appetizer was delivered to start her light interrogation.

“So, Chloe. What do you do?” Panic and paranoia swirled through Chloe’s noise even as her expression was light and carefree. “Have any clubs or sports?” she continued, bringing some relief.

She politely shook her head. “Nothing like that. Freshmen year I was in track but there was too much drama with my teammates so I quit. Now, my time after school is spent with Jake.” Glancing over, she gave me a smile. “He’s been helping me improve my grades—not that they were bad. He’s helped me graduate from a B student to an A student.” I could see the guilt weigh in her noise as she smiled at my aunt. She wasn’t technically lying since we did spend time studying and doing homework together. It wasn’t the whole truth, and Chloe disliked how she had parts of her she needed to hide.

There was a tendril of pride in Sophie. “He always was a good student. Glad he’s showing the initiative to help out.”

“He’s a rather strict tutor. My original intention was to goof off with him in the library, but he put a quick end to that,” she said with a pout. “I suppose my grades are thankful for it, but I keep trying to get him to lighten up.”

Sophie laughed. “Good luck with that. Really. I’ve been trying to do that for years with no luck. Before he moved out, I would call him Mr. Sunshine. I don’t think he liked it.” She looked at me when she finished, giving me a teasing smile. “You know, he used to be much better expressing himself when he was younger.”

Chloe sat up a bit straighter as her attention never left Sophie. “Really?”

She nodded. “Back when he was taking acting classes, he had a real knack for showing his emotions. They were a bit ****, but in a normal conversation you could easily forget the emotions weren’t all there.”

Chloe looked to me. “Why did you stop?”

“It was an act. It felt like I was lying to everyone and to myself. I can’t feel emotions like most people, so I stopped pretending I could. When I choose to put on an expression, it is for a reason.”

Sophie sighed. “What a shame. You are so cute when you smile.”

“Right? I thought the same thing when he was grinning like an idiot yesterday.”

For some reason, I shifted in my seat. My body reacted to something I didn’t feel. Sophie’s noise lit up. Her usually calm noise roiling with excitement and curiosity. “That doesn’t sound like Jake,” she said, her voice not betraying the feelings of her noise. “Do anything special?”

Chloe realized her mistake, but you couldn’t tell it from her expression. “Jake took me out to dinner. We went on a walk through the park and watched the sunset.” Again, she didn’t like telling a half-truth, but the alternative wasn’t something that she could share. Suspicion was still floating around Sophie’s noise, and Chloe couldn’t see that.

“Her Gift made some of my emotions slip out.” Chloe gave me a shocked look while understanding and curiosity replaced the suspicion my aunt was feeling.

“Of course,” Daniel said, hopping into the conversation. “That should be obvious. You both go to the same school. What is your Gift, if I may ask?”

“Daniel, don’t be rude,” Sophie said with a disapproving look.

“What? I’m just curious what could be strong enough to move Jake. We’ve tried Gift therapy numerous times and—”

“Daniel.” My aunt’s voice shifted. The flash of anger wasn’t necessarily directed at him, her noise showing more concern than anything. I think she was frightened that talking about my history with the various doctors and therapists would scare Chloe away. But Daniel’s curiosity came from a good place. He had always been one of my biggest supporters even when he had no real connection to me. I was just a scrawny, emotionally numb kid that dropped into Sophie’s already stressful life. They hadn’t been dating long, yet he took it upon himself to help wherever he could. I would say almost half of the doctor and therapy sessions were where he took me while Sophie worked, went to her classes, or was otherwise helping out her parents. It might have looked like he had done it all to score points with Sophie—and maybe some of that had been there in the beginning—but it didn’t take long for him to become fully invested. He was the one who initially suggested Gift therapy and helped pay for sessions.

“I don’t mind,” Chloe said as I saw her try to soothe some of her more nervous emotions. “My Gift creates a strong euphoria feeling in myself, which can be transferred to people touching me. The activation for it takes a bit of work and is a bit random.”

“I triggered it a few times,” I said trying not to be distracted by the sensual and excitability of Chloe’s noise. “It was enough to have my body respond.”

Sophie was over the moon, her attention on me. “And? What about your feeling?”

I hesitated. I remembered her Gift hitting me. It had blown away my mental shield and left me exposed to the world. The pain I felt as all those different emotions flooded me. It hadn’t been too bad the first time I experienced it on the roof. I think it was because I was so focused on her that it even hit me in the first place. During the brief time I was exposed, my Gift hadn’t expanded enough to feel the emotions of the students below. The second time was better but still problematic. Her Gift was incredibly powerful and the amount of it I absorbed had filled me to the brim. Enough that when her Gift finally fired off, it caused me to pass out shortly after.

I noticed the three staring at me, waiting for my answer. “Some things were a bit more clear, but overall I was still numb.”

Sophie was smiling, but she sank back into her seat with a sad note in her noise. She had been so hopeful. Daniel was over the moon, his excitement spilling out from his noise into his voice. “This is great! It shows that Gift therapy can work. We just haven’t been using the right Gift.”

“I’m not going through more Gift sessions,” I said flatly.

“Surely you can see—”

“My answer is no.”

“Jake—” Sophie started. Whatever she was about to say stopped when I looked at her.

“I’m not broken. This is who I am. This is who I will be.” Without thinking, my hand found Chloe’s. It was warm and comforting. “I may not feel happiness like everyone else, but I am happy in my own way.”

“Sorry, you’re right. We just want to help you however we can.” I watched as Daniel moved his hand over to rest on Sophie’s.

Sophie skillfully moved the conversation on. She was asking Chloe about things she was interested in, but I had trouble focusing on what was being said. What if there was a way to cure the numbness my Gift put on me? It would give me the chance to be normal. I could give Chloe more emotional support, being able to empathize with her better. My mind wandered back to when we were together. How she desperately sought out that emotional connection with me, only to be met by my emotionless wall. She accepted me for who I was. I understood that. But I wanted to make her happy. To be better than I was.

But the cold logic side of me was asking a simple question: would a relationship with Chloe be possible if I had access to my emotions? She regularly slept with guys. No matter how she tried fighting it, a part of her enjoyed what she did. It wasn’t only her Gift either. I don’t know how my emotional self would react to that. Would I be jealous? Would I be appalled and disgusted every time she tried to be intimate with me? Being closer emotionally to her also meant opening myself to all the emotions we were able to ignore.

It expanded beyond Chloe too. What about Alexis and Natalie? Especially Alexis. Being able to feel also meant changes to how I saw the world and those around me. Alexis was an attractive girl who had plenty of experience in the realm of seduction. She would have bedded me a dozen times if I didn’t have this protective barrier keeping my reactions in check. Could I still be her friend, listening to her with her latest conquest? I didn’t know what kind of emotions would come from that. Jealousy? Anger? Disgust?

Beyond that, what about me? The me now. The boy who didn’t feel would cease to exist. Emotions would change me. What would my personality be like? Would I be kind and loving like Sophie? Playful and joyous like Daniel? A manipulative asshole like Adam? There was no way to know. Most memories of what I was before my Gift awakened were gone. All I know is that the me now would cease to exist.

I didn’t fear it, but it wasn’t something I would be rushing toward either.

“How about family?” Sophie asked. The void was back, but Chloe quickly pushed it from her noise. It didn’t dominate, but it remained embedded there in the background, ominously making its presence known.

She smiled, yet it didn’t reach her eyes. “I live with my mom and stepdad. I have stepbrother as well, but he’s in college now so I don’t see him much.” I saw the relief there at the mention of her stepbrother.

“We should take them out sometime,” Daniel said, his noise lighting up at the thought of meeting new people.

“No!” Chloe burst out before immediately lowering her voice. “Uh… That is… They are having… uh… marital troubles…” She was lying. Deceit and shame swirled around her. She seemed to remember that I could read her as she looked my way, eyes wide. It was almost like she was begging me to keep silent. Her noise was uncomfortable to watch.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sophie said, suspicion skirting around her noise. The main thing she was feeling was concern. My aunt always had the ability to sniff out if something was wrong, but she wasn’t going to dig around a situation she wasn’t familiar with. She smiled, trying to brighten the atmosphere. “Well, you are always welcome to join us. We usually have dinner together at least once a week. Consider this a standing invitation.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said, face heating as she looked down.

“Next week, how about you bring Chloe over to our house? You can cook dinner for everyone.”

I looked over at her. “This another surprise inspection of my culinary skills?”

She was lifting her wine as she answered. “It’s not a surprise if I tell you beforehand, is it?” she said before taking a sip. She was smiling as she set the glass down. “Besides, I didn’t spend all that time teaching you to cook for you to let those skills get rusty.”

“Excuse me? Who taught him to cook?” Daniel interjected, giving his wife a shocked look.

She brushed his question off. “Oh, you did a passable job with the fundamentals. I refined them.”

“I’ll remember that next time it’s my week to cook. Pasta and frozen meals since I clearly can’t do anything better.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try. Me.”

Their staring contest lasted a few seconds before Sophie looked over at Chloe. “That matter aside, if you are free next weekend, we should go shopping. Let the men deal with the kitchen. We can have a girl’s day!”

“That… sounds like a lot of fun,” Chloe said with a smile. I watched as the negative emotions blipped out. All I could see was amusement and envy. Envy? I glanced over at the bickering couple. Daniel wasn’t backing off on the cooking thing and Sophie was playfully baiting him. It took me a moment to realize what she was seeing. Their love for each other was something that had been there for almost as long as I had my Gift. It was a fundamental part of their noise. A background where the only change was the intensity. Chloe was seeing evidence of that using mundane matters. She was seeing their love manifest in all the little ways people noticed it. That was what she was envious of.

And I understood then I would never be able to give her that. Not the way Sophie and Daniel loved. All the little things she deserved. The looks they gave each other, the tiny smiles, the way they teased and prodded the other, how their voices changed to convey emotional states. It was all based on emotions that were numb inside me. Was I depriving her of that happiness?

Her hand found mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. She looked my way and smiled. My face remained as still as ever as I glanced back. I saw happiness there, floating in her noise like a leaf in a slow moving river.

I squeezed back and felt my own form of happiness.