Chat James up

As much as you need to take that edge off, you also need to just vent. If you can actually talk to someone and have them listen without getting self righteous and sanctimonious on you, that would be great. You need a friend, if that person becomes a friend with benefits, that's even better. You send him a private message

"Hey, this is kind of a new thing for me, so figured why not start with someone who name and face I recognize. How do you feel about sharing a pizza or something and play things by ear from there?"

You lay in bed, trying in futile effort to go back to sleep, when you get a response back about a halt hour late "Wow, small world idnt it!? Ya, that sounds like a blast, I actually know just the place, it's not too far from campus. I'll send you the address. Lets do late lunch, around 1?"

"Great!" You exchange numbers, and he tells out the name of the place; Token Pizza. Eating there routinely would probably destroy your figure, but that's for another day. You clean yourself off in the shower, being extra diligent this time. You put on your newest jeans and argue with yourself for five minutes about what top to wear, and settle on a simple floral blouse. Putting your face on takes even longer, and you wonder halfway through why you're bothering. You're going out for pizza, and you got less dressed up for internships. He's not expecting anything out of this.

But maybe that is the reason. Subvert his expectations, blow his mind as soon as he sees you. That idea you can work with. You finish your makeup, putting extra care than you did befire, and make a clothing substitution. You don't have super flirty clothes, but you have something that shows at least a little bit of your cleavage, which is a start. You dawdle in your room for a while until it's time to go. As usual, your sense of timing is off in your favor, and manage to get there early. The name of the place through you for a loop, but it makes sense once you step through the doors. It's a particularly nerdy little hole in the wall, with art from old arcade and video games decorating the walls and a pixelated paint scheme inspiring much of the atmosphere. The name implies to Game Tokens. You probably would never have picked this place yourself, but you have to admit it has a cute little charm to it, and it makes sense why James would choose a place like this. It seems to suit him perfectly. He comes in shortly behind you, tapping you on the shoulder behind you, making you jump in surprise

"Amanda?" He asks

"Yep, that's me, you must be James."

"For better or worse, ya. Wow, suddenly I feel underdressed" He nervously holds onto his elbow with his other arm.

"Oh, don't worry about it. Just trying some new things, rather than having all that makeup collect dust on my sink."

"Makes total sense. Well, either way, I appreciate you hitting me up. I'm actually more than a little surprised."

"Why's that?" You ask sincerely as you put yourselves in a booth

"Well, for one, I'm me and you're you. Alkaline and water, basically."

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

"Alkaline metals explode when submerged in water. They don't mix"

"Ohhhh...so you don't think we mix?"

"I mean...ya I guess I did say that, didn't I? What I meant was, people in our social groups don't tend to congregate that often."

You have to agree with him on that, and it does leave a bit of a sour taste in your mouth "That's fair, although right now it doesn't seem like I even have a social group. You made it sound like you had another reason."

"Ya. Been trying to go on dates for a while now, and for you to be the first person is more than a little surprising."

You try to turn that around positively, so it's not just depression all the way through your meal "Well, who knows? Maybe this is the start of more surprises? Day's still young"

You pause your conversation to place your orders, and as the waitress walks away, James starts the conversation back up with a direct question.

"So, what about you? What put you onto online dating? Wouldn't think a girl like you would have much trouble putting yourself out there."

"Ya, well, that is the trouble. I haven't been putting myself out there. I'm feeling like I'm coming out of a haze that I've been in for the last 5 years, and now that I am I need to get my bearings."

"And pizza with a stranger would help with that? What's causing this haze."

"Ugghh, expectations, a lack of autonomy, asking the questions of what am I even doing here and what else do I even want to do if I leave?"

"Damn, those are big questions. Sounds like you'll need a lot of pizza to work through that."

"Ya, or at least someone to talk to, make sure I'm not going crazy."

James shook his head no and put his head on his hands as he rested his elbows on the table "No, not at all. Much the reverse, I think you're finally coming out of insanity. You have every right to question the expectations and the directions you're being given, because they're being given by people who don't see the bigger picture"

This is....not the level of certainty you expected from someone like him, or the depth of conversation. "Ooookay. Care to explain?"

"Certainly. These expectations are coming from your parents right?" You nod in agreement "They see that you're a smart girl, and they want you to go do big things that will change and influence the world. What they don't see is how borderline impossible influencing the world even is, and that more often than not, it's not the lawyers and doctors who influence things. Bugs Bunny influenced American society more than any five holders of doctorates in English, and I can prove it."

This is REALLY not where you anticipated this, but you're fascinated by his approach "Please, I'm all ears."

"When you hear the name Nimrod, what comes to your mind?"

You think for a moment "Idiot, doofus, unintelligent, stuff like that"

"Right, so would most people. The word actually has Biblical roots, meaning great hunter. Bugs Bunny was using the word sarcastically and noone picked up on it, and so the definition of a word got changed by an animated rabbit from the 40's"

"Wow" you reply "you sure seem to know a lot. You actually make me feel kind of dumb"

"That wasn't my plan, I swear. Just, you know, do what makes sense for you. Plan for tomorrow but live in today, or something like that."

The conversation shifts away to more normal terrain, but you're glad you had a fresh perspective. James doesn't have all of the answers but he is perceptive and fun to talk to. The pizza is pretty good too. All in all, a good time is had.

"Watcha got planned for the rest of the day?" He asks

"Nothing really, why?"

"You mentiond trying new things, would you like to come to my place and play some video games together?"