Chapter Twenty One

The problem was, Barbara didn’t know where to begin to fix this.

She was determined, as always. There was never something she tried without fully applying herself to it. And this was about Dick, so she could admit to herself, she was putting 110% into it. For all he pissed her off with self-sacrificing to the **** and fake deaths and sleeping around- There was still a part of her that loved him. That would always love him.

None of that helped, however, when every tool in your toolbox that you applied to problems was, in and of itself, a cause of the problem.

She had built a case file. In a rather literal sense, actually. She wanted no chance of the Batclan discovering this, so she’d gone old-school. She had a folder, a pen and paper, and a tiny safe so excessively designed that nobody was opening it without setting off every alarm in the city. She ran through what she knew, hoping to find an answer.

Dick was struggling. He’d faked his **** to go undercover at Spyral, apparently because they’d gotten roots too widespread, but the specifics were too vague for her liking. When he got home, all of the Bats had turned him away. Alfred hadn’t, but Dick seemed to hold him at a distance regardless. Everyone had held him at arm’s length for six months, he had avoided them all and the cave and contact had been sparse.

Her eyes tightened at the next point. When he came back, he had been gone long enough that his apartment had been rented to someone else. After a few weeks, camera footage showed he had collected the half-dozen boxes from a forgotten corner of the manor to move into his new place that he had bought somehow. Records said it was when Alfred was doing a small food shop, so Dick buzzed himself through the gate and left without being noticed.

She couldn’t find anything explaining where he stayed those two weeks. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Three months past, Harley started working with him, and that brought them to today. The other notes she had were regarding his teams, the Titans and Young Justice, and were lacking more detail. She’d gotten what she could from Donna and Kori, but that only went so far. What she did have was that there wasn’t a man or woman on either team that was more likely to have stayed in touch than the two woman currently crashing in the Clocktower with her.

The only suggestion either could offer that came close was Wally West, aka Kid Flash. That was very quickly ruled out. Apparently Dick and Wally had grown apart after the speedster’s return through the speedforce when he had been assumed dead, and then the rift had become a chasm at Dick’s faked ****.

Which led Barbara to the question of what to do again. If she **** him to the manor through Alfred or something, he’d work it out and close off. If she sent Jason, or Tim, they’d be pissy without the context and he’d close off, probably end up with a bruise. If she sent Damian, Dick would do his magic and deflect like the devil, until the kid came home with literally nothing more than he’d gone in with. Cass would be able to see things the rest couldn’t, but they didn’t need information, they needed action, and she wouldn’t have the words for it. Stephanie was better with emotion, but too likely to start yelling or get over-emotional before she could actually help.

She didn’t bother considering Bruce. She had her suspicions from that night he had checked on Dick, and even without that, the two struggled to stay peaceful.

She couldn’t go either. Once, she would have bet her life on being able to go in and know she only needed to ask and he’d give her anything. After how he’d behaved with Donna and Kori, nothing she had thought she knew about Dick seemed guaranteed anymore.

It was only now that it was gone that she realised how little she’d respected that power over him that he’d freely given her.

And if he would tell Donna Troy, his Wonder Twin, to ‘shove it’, then what hope did anyone else have?

There were a couple of more distant connections he had. Extended Batclan, some of the League. Dinah probably saw him for a session at least once, they were mandatory to a point, but that just meant he’d avoid her. If Wally was angry, the Flashes were hopeless.

She didn’t want to consider that her only choices might be Clark or Diana. Because if they were the only ones, then she would have to explain it all, or they’d find it out somehow, and that… that could well and truly break the relationship between the Bats and the League. But what else could she do? It’s not as if he was going to open up to Harper or-

Helena Bertinelli. She had been undercover with him last year. It was a long shot, but maybe-

Barbara put the folder away safely, and reconfigured the room to hide it amidst the various other sections of room stored below, then moved to the computer. She navigated her private system quickly, and opened up a call with the Huntress.

It rang, and the noise set the redhead’s teeth on edge. Just when she thought the other woman wasn’t going to answer, the call connected with a cheery, “Heya, Helena speaking!”

“Helena, it’s Barbara Gordon.”

A neutral noise sounded, “Barbara. What a pleasure. Is this a pleasure call?”

Or, in other words, tell me what you want or fuck off. She always did have a way with words, really.

“No, I was actually hoping to talk to you about Dick. He’s been-”

“Wait a moment.” The line muffled with a click, and most of a minute passed before it opened again. “Now I have some privacy, tell me whatever it is and be quick about it.”

Usually Barbara would complain about the tone, but this was more important. “Dick’s been acting weird. Avoids the family, and keeps his distance. I don’t know-”

Helena interrupted her with a sharp, scorning, disbelieving laugh. “Oh gee, I wonder. He comes back from hell and you all tell him he fucked up for it. Truly, a mystery why he might be distant.”

Anger heats Barbara’s words, “We had a right to be mad that he lied, Helena. No matter the reason.”

“Do you?” The woman’s polite words sharpened with something ugly, “You had the right? Oh, silly me. My mistake. In that case, dear, let me share a little something. When we were there, one thing kept Dick Grayson’s light shining. Kept him from being just another faceless agent. He mentioned it all the time. I found it truly inspiring just how much he looked forward to getting back to his family. His brothers, his sisters, and his sweet ‘friend’ Babs.”

Barbara ignored how that lodged itself in her heart, buried it under the anger she was still clinging to. “He still shouldn’t have lied before-”

The other woman’s voice cracked down the secure line, her composure suddenly and violently lost to a venom that sizzled like acid, “He lived for all of you entitled so-called heroes and not one of you could look past your own damn selves to hug the man when you found he had the gall not to be dead. No, Barbara, you did not have the fucking right. And no, I don’t want to help you out the hole you dug. In fact, I sincerely hope you suffocate down there-”

She blurted out, “Who’s Agent 37?”

Helena’s vitriol stopped so sharply Barbara wondered if the line had dropped. In it’s place, a strange neutrality, “Explain yourself, please. As specifically as is feasible, Oracle.”

“He…He got injured recently and wasn’t wearing his comms, so I asked Wonder Girl to check. He passed out, and when he woke up, apparently he attacked her, saying ‘37 will pass the test’. Is… Was that his name?”

Huntress clicked her tongue sharply, “Damnit. Yes, 37 was his assigned identifier, and no, I won’t explain anymore. I need to check on him.”

Relief hit her, “His address is-”

“I know it.” Helena interrupted, “I helped him find and pay for it, since his so-called family turned their backs. Turns out rooftops don't make the best mattresses.”

A small gasp escaped Barbara at that confirmation, despite her best efforts to stay composed.

It would have been better if the other woman’s voice was angry when she spoke again. Instead, it was just a grim statement. “You know, Dick never wanted me to say it. He didn’t believe it was fair, but I disagree, and he’s not here to protect you. Because, even now, he would. We both know it. But really? Not one of you deserves everything he does for you. Everything that man gives you, and the only thing he wanted in return was a pathetic hug, and you couldn’t even do that. None of you deserve him, but somehow, you deserved him least, Barbara. It doesn’t take a genius to listen when he’s breaking and piece it together. You just never cared enough to pay attention.”

Barbara didn’t respond. Couldn’t respond.

“I’ll check on him. I won’t keep you updated. I hope you **** on your right to be mad.”

The line clicked as she hung up.

Barbara didn’t move from in front of the screen for long after it powered down to save energy. She simply sat. Stared. Cried.