Chapter Fourteen

Dick was so fucking sick of whatever this whole crime spree was in Bludhaven. First the gangs, then small-time villains, and now actual Rogue-tier threats? For fuck’s sake, he had been about to try and hide from the world again in a giant blanket watching shitty romcoms with tea from Alfred’s latest care package. Even if everyone fucking hated his guts, himself included most days, at least he could pretend it was like before when he had Alfred’s tea.

Or, almost everyone, he mentally corrected. It’d been a week since he showed Harley who he was, basically handing her the keys to the kingdom out of pure desolate emotional desperation. He had half-expected her to run for the hills and sell the secret to the highest bidder. Dick had even been mentally preparing how to stop her alone if that happened.

Instead, when they eventually stopped laughing, she’d simply nodded, and continued eating her pancakes, then lectured him about how much of a bitch it was to clean the construction dust caked onto his sink. As if he didn’t just share basically his biggest secret with her. He would have been insulted, if not for the pure relief of her actually proving trustworthy. Sure, a part of him still said it could be a long con, aiming to take something he hadn’t worked out, but… well, it wasn’t like Nightwing had much left to give these days, nevermind Dick. If it turned out to be a con, then bravo. He’d applaud them as he died.

Though, he had been kind of hiding from her since then. Told her thank you for helping, but he needed some space, and please don’t drop by without an invitation or the house will explode. That last bit wasn’t entirely true, but it seemed to work well enough to keep her out, so he had just been staying home and avoiding her when Nightwing was out.

Now? Now he didn’t care much, because he was too busy being pissed at everything. Specifically- what the fuck was Riddler doing in his town? Why the fuck did it have to be when he was trying to avoid pretty much all of his life? And why the fuck was he out here in the sticks on the dockside? And how the fuck had he been here long enough to set up this many goddamned traps?

“Hee-hee, that’s it, little birdy, follow the trails for me!”

“C’mon Nigma, do we really have to do this right now? I’m not even the one who’s challenging your self-proclaimed title, that’s Batman!” Dick tried to reason with him again, despite having already had this discussion twice since entering this warehouse.

For once, instead of a screamed response, Riddler was silent. Probably because the end of the miniature maze of traps was right ahead of him. Damned puzzle-obsessed lot, these Gothamite villains. “You know, Nigma, usually I’d enjoy these traps. The one with the angles was really cool. But tonight? Tonight I’m just gonna get this over with and take you in-”

Dick opened the last set of doors and abruptly stopped speaking as several things happened at once. First, he realised he was outside, not in a room. Second, a sign dropped from above the door reading ‘Congratulations, You’re the Distraction!’. Third, something glittery and colourful sprayed in his face suddenly. Fourth, the world turned sideways.

—

“Alright, spill it Harls. You got me all the way over here for some reason, even bribed me with my favourite wine. You clearly either want something, or want to talk about something.”

The blonde grinned sheepishly at her redheaded friend. Say what you would about Ivy, but she was a damned reliable best friend, and honestly probably the only reason Harley had ever gotten away from the dumpster fire that had been her ‘relationship’ with Joker. Which, admittedly, made her all the more embarrassed to say the next thing to the plant-powered supervillainess.

“So, yah know Bird-brain? The first one, not the newer kiddos.”

Ivy paused in swirling her drink and stared hard at the crazy blonde for a moment. Then, she slowly raised an eyebrow and said, “Robin? You mean the one faster than anyone that size has any right to be? Moves like his bones are made of jello? ”

Harley nodded repeatedly, “Yeah! That one. Though, his hero thingy is ‘Nightwing’ now. What, uhh, whatcha think of him? I'll explain, I just wanna know, y'know?”

Ivy narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, then sighed “...He’s likeable, as much as I hate to admit it. He’s clever enough to get the science behind my plans- usually quick enough to stop me. Probably the fastest hero in town. Far more agile than any of the other Bats…actually, the short chick, Black Bat, is probably faster.”

She paused as if uncertain, then, “He’s…always gentle- even when he should be much harsher. He’s softer than Batman ever was…which I’ll admit to appreciate. The Bat is often simply brutal for the purpose of brutality. It’s a nice change of pace.”

—

Dick groaned, ears still ringing as rubble fell from his figure whilst he sat up. He took stock of what had happened. Or, at least, tried to, only to realise the fog that was creeping over his mind.

“Fucking- Nightwing to Cave. Been caught with some kind of aerosolized spray that’s impeding cognitive function. Riddler’s trap. Uncertain of onset, but appears rapid. A building down by the dockside has exploded. I’m in the wreckage. Can Red-”

It was then that the memory broke through the fog in Dick’s mind.

‘I turn it on whenever there’s a need’

Fucking idiot Dick Grayson again. He left the tracker and commlink at home. Stupid. He had to try and get home on his own before he lost track of himself. Nobody coming to save him this time, not anymore. Not like they would have anyway.

Not like he deserved their help any more.

—

Harley nodded rapidly alongside the redhead’s words, “Exactly! Okay, good, so- I need you to find him for me.”

She just raised an eyebrow.

“No.”

“But Ivyyyyy-”

“I said no.”

“-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-”

“Fucking no!”

“-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-”

“Alright, shut up!”

“yyy- You mean it?” Harley grinned as brightly as she could, which on a woman of her height with hair that blonde and a mind that crazy? Very bright.

Ivy rubbed her temples, “Yes, I’ll fucking do it- IF you tell me why you want to know.”

The blonde blushed slightly, realising how embarrassing it would be to admit this. But…she’d wanted to do good, right? Be a hero? Harley took a deep breath.

“Bludhaven is being overrun with crime and I don’t know why but it’s making it really difficult for Nightwing to keep up and he looks really tired and the other bats aren’t getting along with him and so I’ve been helping him out and going to fight crime and all that crap at night because I thought he was about to kill himself one time and now it’s been a week and I don’t know where he is and he said he trusted me and oh my god how much can I say in asinglebreathwithoutstoppingbecausethisiskindacool-”

She cut herself off to take a huge gasp of air whilst her green-skinned friend processed the word vomit she had just spewed everywhere.

Ivy, for her part, took a moment, then quietly asked, “You’ve been crime-fighting? Like a hero or whatever?”

Harley nodded.

The eco-activist took a breath, “Alright, I’ll do it.” and then closed her eyes and reached a hand to the nearest window, where a vine was stretching to meet her. She stayed there for a minute. Then another minute. And another.

After about ten minutes of sitting motionless, her green eyes snapped open and the vine curled away from her, “Harls, I found him, but…”

“But what?” Harley demanded, “This is important, Ives! Like, seriously important to me. C’mon, please.”

“No, it’s not that.” She grimaced, “I’m pretty sure he’s dosed with something. I can’t tell what, but it’s nothing like my spores. Some kind of slow knockout?”

“Tell me where he is, Ives. Please, I gotta go help him.”

“He’s a couple blocks away from the warehouse that’s exploded at the docks. If you look for the smoke, you want to head east from it, last I saw.”

The blonde leapt up and dashed around to grab her gear. She paused when she was ready and clasped Ivy’s hands, “Thank you Ives. Thank ya so much.”

Ivy just smiled and told her, “Go on, go be the hero, Harley.”