Chapter 9

The morning sun gleamed through the dirty windows of Epsilon House, this particular Sunday morning with an extraordinary vengeance. Emmanuel wanted nothing more than to sleep for another hundred years, but the birds that were outside chirping into a megaphone weren’t having it. He opened one eye to find a floor covered in dirty socks and underpants, in a place he’d never been before. At least the sheets were clean, except the spot covered in his own drool. Unbeknownst to him, there was also a stain hiding just under the covers. An attempt at opening the second eye was thwarted by what felt like super glue. When his sharply manicured nail reached up to check, and stabbed him in the forehead, the substance was discovered to be mascara.

“Where am I?” The boy still wearing yesterday’s makeup groaned out the question as he pushed himself up from the mattress, and his head started to thud with the same rhythm of his heartbeat. “Owwwwwww!”

“First wine hangover?” Theo asked, startling the mess of a teen. He was sitting in front of his computer reading cliff notes of a book from his summer reading list, one he absolutely did not read.

The last thing Emmanuel remembered clearly was taking off his shoes in the middle of the alley, and after that it was mostly a blur. “Oh, god! I never went home! I had to go home!” The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Those same bricks felt like they hit him in the skull when he raised his own voice. Pressing his hands to his temples, partially covering his face, Emmanuel wanted the pressure to ease whatever was going on in his head. Piecing together the events that led him to his date, the boy felt the full effects on his body of the punishment he’d given himself the day before. He knew at home, his mother was waiting, and they were going to have to have a very complicated conversation. He didn’t know the specifics of what Song wrote in that letter, but he knew it wasn’t good. “How are you not dying?”

“I was a few hours ago, though probably not as bad as you. I do have about a hundred pounds on you after all.” Theo got up from his desk, and brought a sports drink to his new girlfriend. I snuck out this morning and got this. It’ll help, I promise. I got you a Mcmuffin, but it’s probably cold by now. Greasy food helps though. It’s on the nightstand next to some tylenol. He kissed the pretty girl on top of her aching head, and nudged her towards the sandwich. “I thought it was gonna be hard to get my arm from underneath your head when I got up, but you just plopped back down like a cinder block.. You’re a real heavy sleeper, babe.”

“Not normally.” Emmanuel muttered. His first impulse was to pull away from the basketball player, but then he remembered his mother’s employment was in the hands of this guy's aunt. Thinking twice, still pouting, he reached over to the bag with the golden M on it, and pulled out the breakfast sandwich. He’s probably never eaten anything faster in his life. Food still in his mouth, he mumbled, “Thank you.” before opening the blue liquid and using it to down the two little red pills. Only then did he realize that he was speaking with Emmanuel’s voice, and not Emily’s. He quickly corrected, and repeated, “Thank you!” trying to sound both chipper, and grateful.

“You don’t have to worry about freaking me out with your voice, Milly. I know it’s an adjustment for girls like you. It takes years of practice before you don’t have to think about it, and I’m sure being hung over doesn’t help.”

“Girl’s like me?” Emmanuel thought he was going to throw up the sandwich he’d just eaten, so he leapt to his bare feet, regretting the sudden movement immediately, but didn’t let that slow him down as he hurried into the boy’s private bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Looking into the mirror it was clear he still looked like a girl, just one who’s makeup was smudged beyond repair. A few deep breaths quieted his stomach, and just then he finally noticed how bad he had to pee.

He was about to sit down on the toilet, not out of feminine inclination, but out of sheer exhaustion, when he realized he needed to lift his skirt as opposed to unbuttoning his trousers. Doing so revealed a lack of underwear, and then a few flashes from after leaving the bar flooded his thoughts. The feminized boy wasn’t certain of much, but one thing he did know was that he’d had sex with a boy. Anal sex. He had anal sex with a boy, and the worst part was he knew a part of him liked it. He finally vomited, but fortunately got the seat up in time. At the very least he felt a lot better. He flushed after emptying his bladder, peeing with the metal contraption being another new experience. That’s when he noticed sharp into his new D-cup breast under his bra. It was the package of gum from the night before. It was a little soft from his body heat, but that didn’t stop the boy from sticking two pieces into his mouth to cover the taste of his sick, and what he could only assume was Theo’s cock. “I had a… no, no, don't think about that. It was in my mouth…’ While it wasn’t the first dick he’d had in his mouth, the fact that the other belonged to a pretty curly-haired blonde beauty made it a completely different experience.

Emmanuel felt like crying but he didn’t have time for that right now. A deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Another. And Another. Centered, he opened the bathroom door to face who he’d just remembered was his new boyfriend, after agreeing to make it official during a drunken session of post-coital pillow talk. “Theo, I need you to take me home.” It wasn’t a command but the tone let the jock know his girl was serious.

“Yeah, your mom is probably worried sick, since you haven’t been able to text her. I probably should have gotten you up sooner, but you just looked so cute sleeping there.” It had to be love because anyone with two eyes and a brain would have thought the girl passed out and drooling in his bed wasn’t quite cute at that moment, but rather much more a hot mess. “Let me get my keys,”

The ride back in Theo’s jalopy wasn’t awful by any stretch of the imagination, even somewhat pleasant. The song that started playing over the stereo was one of Emmanuel’s favorites, so at the very least they had similar taste in the classics. When the boy reached over to hold his girlfriend’s hand halfway through the ride, it wasn’t even that bad. They’d already done so much worse.

Theo had apparently spent the first part of the morning on the internet learning about the trans experience. He’d never been with a transgender girl before, but it wasn’t a problem. He just wanted to be the best boyfriend he could possibly be. A lot of this was sounding very familiar to Emmanuel, and he wondered how a guy this nice could get wrapped up in one of Song’s schemes. None of it was making any sense. Whatever the case, he thought it best to keep his mouth shut, and let the boy drone on. He’d have to figure out how to lose the beau without ruining his life later. First things first, he needed to explain things, as best he could at least, to his mom.

Getting out of the car, Theo caught him by the wrist, and pulled him in for a quick goodbye kiss before saying, “Don’t forget about tomorrow, gorgeous.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’m picking you up from work, remember. That way you don’t have to take that awful bus. Those things aren’t safe, you know. I can give your friends a ride too. I don’t mind helping however I can. I’m babbling, aren't I? Sorry, go talk to your mom. I’m sure she’ll understand. The way you describe her, of course she will.. Bye, babe.” He had to fight not to say the words his heart was singing, “I love you.”

Not sure why, Emmanuel leaned back into the car, and gave his new boyfriend one more kiss, then smiled wide, an expression in direct conflict to the pounding in his head, and said, “Bye, Teddy.” He blinked twice, not sure where that had come from till a vague memory about a teddy bear came to mind.

Plodding up the stairs, booties in hand, Emmanuel approached the door to the apartment. A few more deep breaths, and he tested the door handle. Without his keys there was no way to get in unless it was unlocked, or with his mothers help. Finding it unlocked, he swung the door open. Sitting on the couch, still in her pajamas, Lauren Brooks was anxiously awaiting the arrival of her child. It wasn’t like her baby to not check in. They often weren’t home at the same time, but there was always a text telling her where they were. When she found the phone on the coffee table, she just assumed it was forgotten, something she would have given Emmanuel an ear full about. They had saved up all that money from their job to get the phone and then just left it, but that wasn’t her concern at the moment.

Seeing the teen standing there looking a mess, she still thought she was the prettiest girl she’d ever seen. The mother jumped up and immediately wrapped her arms around Emily, grateful that at the very least, her daughter wasn’t going to have to deal with not passing like a lot of other girls did in early transition.

Emmanuel wrapped his arms around his mom, feeling safe again for the first time in a few days, and whispered, “Mom, we’ve got to talk.”

“I know, baby. I read the letter.” Lauren held her daughter at arm’s length by the shoulders, and went on, “Let me get a good look at you honey. Oh you can’t sleep in your makeup. It’s bad for your skin. Don’t worry, I’m going to teach you everything you need to know. Your hair…it looks so good and…” Her voice trailed off. She wanted to tell her child how wonderful they were, how brave they were and it all just jumbled up. “You know, it was so nice of your friend Song to pay for all of this. I only wish I could afford to give you everything you deserve, but I’m glad to know you’ve got other people looking out for you. So tell me, who’s this Theodore boy? I want to hear everything. Don’t spare a single detail. Wait, actually I’ve got great news I gotta spill first, and then we can talk about everything.” The woman was talking a mile a minute, overwhelmed by the emotional magnitude of it all. “I got a promotion!”

“At Target?” the flummoxed teen asked, hoping there wasn’t a different answer.

“No, I finally get to quit that hell hole. At the hotel last night, Bethany was staying late, and she called me into her office. I was freaking the fuck out, ya know, when she offered me the front desk manager position. It comes with a huge raise, and better hours. It’s nine to five…well eight to five with an hour for lunch, but you know. Now I can actually be here for you again. I know it’s been rough being a latch key kid since you father…well your father fucked up our lives, but I’ve finally managed to dig us out of that trench, baby.” Having a mom only sixteen years his senior, Emmanuel was used to the potty mouth, that trait probably being one of the things that made him so fond of Emery.

That wasn’t what got to him. Everything else was why he collapsed backwards onto the couch, and started crying into his well manicured hands. His mom had been promoted because he fucked Theo, and now she was going to get fired if he didn’t stay with the boy. He really didn’t want to be a girl, let alone someone’s girlfriend, but even more than that he didn’t want to break his mom’s heart. At least that’s what his self sabotaging brain told him. In reality the decision to promote Lauren had been made a week earlier, and they were just waiting for the position to officially come open before they made the offer. At this point Bethany didn’t have a clue who Emily even was, at least not until her nephew texted her the good news whenever he got around to it. College kids are notorious for only reaching out to their parents when they need something.

“Oh, baby.” Lauren said, sitting down, and comforting her daughter, rubbing the small of her back. “I know you’re so happy right now you can’t contain yourself. I’m happy too. I always wanted a daughter, you know.”

In his fragile state of mind what Emmanuel heard was, “I’ve always wanted a daughter more than a son, you know.” That was it. He was stuck, and there wasn’t any way out. Emily was here to stay and it only made him cry that much harder.

“Emily, go wash your face, and put on some pajamas. We can have a girls day in, today. We’ll get pizza, and watch movies. And we can talk about your plans for the future. You’ve got doctor’s appointments we need to set up, I know. I looked up a few options, so we can figure out which sounds best to you.”

It was strange hearing his mom call him by that name, but her voice soothed him just the same. He didn’t say a word, just pulled himself up off the couch, and followed her instructions.

“Emily.” Hearing his mom say it once more, he turned to face her, Lauren’s own eyes full of tears, but a proud smile graced her lips. “I’m so proud of you.”

Sniffling, he made his way back into his room, finding it clean thanks to the assistance of the feminized boys that were once his girlfriends. Opening his underwear drawer he saw an unexpected sight, none of his boxers or socks were in there. Rather, he found panties of different colors and styles and an equally diverse selection of bras. Opening another drawer, then another he wasn’t able to find a single shred of his own clothing, instead every article replaced by something much more feminine. Incredibly drained, he dug through one, finding a pair of fuzzy shorts and a cami, not much different from what his mother was wearing. He glanced over at his closet before shaking his head, not ready to open that can of worms, or even spend what little mental energy he had left on questions like how and why. He had been promised that this was just for the night, or so he thought he remembered, that obviously wasn’t the case. In the bathroom he striped down to the corset, and finally got a good look at himself in the mirror.

His naked form on full display, he reached up and cupped his breast, feeling the need to make sure they were actually real. Confirming they were, there wasn’t much he could do about it. Right then, he felt dead inside. There was nothing else to be done, but give up, and give in. First things first, he sat down on the floor, knees to his enlarged bust, letting himself cry until he just couldn’t anymore. The headache from the wine wouldn’t let him. From there, he finally managed to wrestle himself out of the corset, the red indentions burning with relief as he did so. The simple act of washing his face did wonders, lifting his spirits enough to face the world again, if only just barely. His reflection still showed Emily though, only not painted up. The long hair, the thinned eyebrows with the notch he earned from that fight, and the long hair seemed to change his entire face. He still saw the same girl, though she seemed younger, more Emmanuel’s actual age.

After slipping into the comfy clothes, he walked back out into the living room where his mom was sitting, her legs curled under her, as she pointed to the spot next to her. “Sit down honey, and I’ll show you how to put your hair up. Long hair is super pretty on you, but you’ll find out quickly it can become quite a pain in the ass sometimes.” She showed her new daughter how to smooth it back with a brush, and then tied it off in a perky pony at the top of her head, the bangs only left to hang down around Emily’s cute face.

The now very cute boy checked his phone finding a few missed text messages. One from a number he didn’t recognize.

Unknown number: This is Teddy Bear <3 I’m told the rules say I have to wait to text you, but I had to say you are wonderful, and I can’t wait to see you again.

Emmanuel didn’t groan. Thanks to Song’s machinations and Teddy’s good will his mother had gotten a promotion and he wasn’t going to take away the joy he saw on her face. He couldn’t put that burden back on her and tell the kind giant that being friends was as far as he wanted to go. So instead, he copied, pasted, and a new contact was added to his phone. He messaged the boy back.

Emily: Ignore the rules. Thanks for making my life better.

Teddy Bear <3 : Mine got better when you I saw you for the first time

Ignoring the response he got right away, Emmanuel only partially meant what he said, but had to thank Teddy for getting his Aunt to allow his mom to quit her other job at the box retail store. Even if it was earned doing things…things he didn’t want to think about, with the older boy. The next two messages he read, but didn’t bother to reply. Taking note that his own name had been updated in his phone, he knew full well that they had no plans for this to be over after one night, especially with the letter they left his mom after swapping out all of his clothes.

Song: You’re welcome

Emery: Theo seems like super happy!!!! I knew you two would hit it off!

A quick call was made, and a pizza ordered. Emmanuel was still starving after a lack of dinner, and losing his breakfast. The two spent the rest of the day watching the same chick flick he’d taken both his girlfriend’s too, only this time he could tell you everything about it. A look through a few brochures, and they settled on a doctor that took Lauren’s new insurance. Just reading the pamphlets, let alone selecting one, felt like a betrayal to who he was. Emmanuel had done so much damage to those around him, if he hadn’t been born then his dad wouldn’t have done something that criminal to get by. If it wasn’t for him getting in fights his mom wouldn’t have had to move to this area, and if that didn’t happen… It all just escalated from there, so this time he was going to be the solution, not the problem.

Apparently Emily’s drunken barefoot adventures had destroyed her pedicure, so Lauren absolutely had to fix the damage. She was just thrilled to share a new experience with her child. While they dried, she stared at her daughter’s visage, marveling at how much they looked alike.

Emmanuel noticed, and immediately felt self conscious. “What is it? he asked, blushing and covering himself in shame. Feeling his feminine chest shift in the process made him want to cover himself even more. “Is there something on my face?”

Lauren playfully swatted her new daughter’s hands out of the way, and said, “Quit that, goober. You’re fucking beautiful. I was just admiring how pretty you are. You get it honest.” She wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to fluff up her own ego as well, if only just a little.

Her son, now daughter, blushed at the compliment, and for whatever reason it brought a smile to his face, and a warm comfort to his heart. His mother was the most important person in his world, and seeing her this happy, he couldn’t help but enjoy it. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” Lauren wrapped her child in a tight embrace, holding her for five uninterrupted, wonderful minutes, before letting go. The moment passed, she was back to her usual crass self, and she brought up the question burning in her mind. “Who the hell is this Theodore, and am I going to have to put the fear of god into him? He’s not a criminal, is he? Because let me tell you, they’re not worth the fucking hassle.”

Despite the weight of it all, and the stress bearing down on him, Emmanuel laughed wholeheartedly for what felt like the first time in a long time.