Chapter 8: Reparations

A week later

The dormitory was quiet this late into night, the usual hum of subdued conversations and muted laughter echoing through the halls replaced by a suffocating stillness. Haeun sat cross-legged on the floor of Jihoon’s room, a pillow hugged to her naked chest. The dim light of the bedside lamp cast soft shadows across her face, and her hair spilled over her shoulders in loose waves. Jihoon was reclining on the bed, his long limbs stretched out, his body bare. For now, the tension between them was absent, replaced by an uneasy truce that neither of them wanted to disturb.

Haeun broke the silence. “You’ve been... different these few days,” she said softly, tilting her head to study him. “Less... hostile. More... you."

Jihoon’s lips curled into a faint smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “You mean I’ve stopped acting like an ass.”

She shrugged. “More or less. I’m not complaining, but I still wonder why you started in the first place.”

He was silent for a long time, before letting out a low sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“I was scared,” he admitted. “I was afraid of losing you forever. Of losing the one person in my life that mattered.”

His frankness surprised her, and she leaned backwards, her brow furrowing. “Why would you think you’d lose me forever?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jihoon said bitterly, his voice laced with a mix of self-pity and lingering anger. “You’re with him, no matter what happens. You’ve chosen him. And no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to keep you here, I know—deep down—that you’ll leave again.”

Haeun frowned, twisting her head towards him, her grip on the pillow tightening. “I’ve always come back, Jihoon.”

“But how long before you don't?” His gaze finally met hers, and the raw vulnerability in his eyes made her heart ache. “I’ve already lost everyone else, everyone I once thought would come back to me."

The words hung heavy in the air between them, and she waited, sensing he had more to say.

“My parents divorced when I was nine,” Jihoon began, his voice steady but low. “My dad cheated on my mom. It wasn’t some big affair—it was just one of those slow, inevitable things that happens when people grow apart. He remarried not long after, started a new family. His new wife hated me. I was the living, breathing reminder of his first marriage. I’d visit on the weekends, but it was clear I didn’t belong. So eventually, I stopped going.”

“And your mom?” Haeun asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“She hated me too,” Jihoon said with a bitter laugh. “Not openly, but it was there, in the way she looked at me. I reminded her of him—of my father. Every time she saw me, she saw my dad. So I grew up knowing I wasn’t wanted by either of them.”

Haeun’s chest tightened. She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand to stop her.

“That’s why I don’t go anywhere during breaks,” he continued, his voice calm but edged with a quiet despair. “There’s no one to visit. Not because they are overseas, but because no one who cares. Being with you... I thought it would be different. But then you chose him over me, again and again.”

His words stung, and she felt irritation rise up in her. “Jihoon,” she began carefully, “you can’t blame me for—”

“I’m not blaming you,” he interrupted, his tone sharp and hurt. “I’m just trying to explain. When I thought about you with him, it wasn’t just jealousy. It was fear. So I did what I did. I wanted to scare him off, make him so jealous that he’d leave you. But I couldn’t. I failed, no matter what I did. He still stays, and it drives me insane.”

Haeun sat in silence for a moment, letting his words sink in. “Do you want to know why he stayed?” she asked finally. “Why he didn’t run away or give up?”

Jihoon nodded, though his expression was skeptical.

“Because we love and trust each other,” she said simply. “It hasn’t been easy. It’s been messy and complicated and painful at times. But that trust—that love—it’s what makes it work. It’s what makes us stronger.”

Jihoon’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Then why are you here with me?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

She hesitated, searching for the right words. “Because I care about you too,” she admitted. “And I empathize with what you’ve been through. But Jihoon, you’ve gone too far. You’ve hurt me.”

His lips pressed into a thin line, and he looked away. “I’m sorry,” he said finally, though the words felt more like an obligation than a true apology. “But you came to me first. You’re the one who...”

He trailed off, his eyes meeting hers again, filled with a mix of accusation and longing. Haeun sighed, standing up and brushing off her hands.

“I know,” she said softly. “I’m not blameless. But that doesn’t make this right.”

Jihoon remained silent, his expression unreadable.

"Maybe this is too much to ask for. Maybe it would be painful to even think about. But can you at least try to be better?” she asked, her voice gentle. “To be more considerate, more respectful of me and our relationship?”

He didn’t respond immediately, but then gave a slow nod. “I can try,” he said finally, though his voice was hesitant. “For you. I need you, Haeun. I don’t want to be alone again.”

Her eyes softened, and she climbed next to him, reaching out to take his hand in hers. “You’re not alone,” she whispered. “And you never will be. Not as long as I’m here.”

Their eyes met again, and this time, there was a flicker of warmth in them—a fleeting glimpse of the old Jihoon, the one who used to make her smile and laugh, who had treated her with kindness when she needed it.

“I’ll stop,” he whispered. “The whole thing with Minjae. I might have went a little too far.”

To his surprise, Haeun let out a laugh, a genuine, full belly laugh that seemed to fill the room. He looked at her, confused, as she shook her head.

“Oh no, I think he would be upset if you stop now." She said, wiping away a tear of mirth.

“What?” Jihoon's eyebrows shot up in shock, his voice filled with confusion and disbelief. He shook his head. "I didn't think he would be this fucked up. Why?"

She laughed again, this time more subdued, but her eyes sparkled with amusement. "I don't think he really understands why either. But if you have any more doubts, maybe we could give him a call?"