Chapter 1: Job search and disappointment

I’m sitting at my computer with a coffee mug that's half full and a plate of eggs partially eaten on a dinner tray to my right. I scroll, and scroll, and scroll through several tabs of jobs.

I look through the google jobs listings and I can’t find any jobs in journalism that I find interesting. A lot of it is just freelance article writing, which physically disgusts me as I had to write so many papers and articles in my 3rd year of college.

Then I go to indeed, and find a bunch of reporter jobs! But… all of them require at least 4 years of work experience. “How am I going to get a job if all the jobs require work experience???” I thought to myself as I take a sip of my coffee with a stern look on my face. It’s been a solid hour of nonstop google searching and I haven’t found one job I can apply to.

I can feel my nerves picking up again, so I wheel myself back and spin around for a bit. Thoughts of doubt flood my mind as I aimlessly swivel around like a kid that just found an office chair for the first time. For a brief moment, I catch a glimpse of my journalism degree.

I lean back in my chair and look at it intently. 7 years, and all I have to show for it is a piece of paper, man what am I supposed to do!

“You were supposed to get me a job! And now I’m stuck in a rut without a place to go…” I think to myself.

I know I’m a bit over dramatic at times, but something about all of this has me second guessing my choices in life. Should I have gotten into a more academic career? Maybe if I’d actually hooked up with someone at college, they would help me out? Anything other than sitting in my underwear all day pulling hair out over my computer screen!

Darkness and despair begin to engulf my mind with feelings of sadness as I’m left literally spiraling (god I need to see a therapist), I suddenly get a phone call!

I slightly jump in my seat as I feel my phone vibrate on my left thigh, almost dropping it on the floor in the process. After a mini panic attack, I scramble to pick up the phone as I check who’s calling me.

“Rachel! What’s she calling me for at this hour?” I say to myself. Rachel is a co-worker and friend I met back in college. She usually isn’t one to call me this early in the morning unless she wants me to cover her shift, but nevertheless I pick it up anyway.

“Hi Rachel! How’s it going?” I say, trying to mask my frustration over the job search.

“Yo, Sophie! You busy right now?” Rachel asks.

I wish I was! Better than sitting on my ass scrolling through jobs I can’t possibly get right now. I check the time and see it’s 8:35, which is pretty early in my book considering I’m usually a night owl. I wonder what she has in mind.

“Not really no. Why you ask?” I reply.

“Well, I wanted to go to this café nearby since I have the day off, and was wondering if you want to come with?” Rachel says.

A café does sound good right now, especially since the eggs I just had were blander than the color grey. Plus it would be a great way to get my mind off of the job search and the crippling stress of my loan debt. Besides, Rachel and I haven’t talked all week.

“Yeah, I’m down. Should be there around 9-ish,” I reply back.

“Cool! See ya!!!” Rachel says before hanging up.

I place my phone back between my legs and lean a bit back in my chair. I take a deep breath, hoping to calm myself down before I get dressed and head out of here, but a lingering feeling of distress still remains in the back of my mind.

However, I decide that I’ve sulked for way too long and that I deserve at least an hour of distraction from the real world. So, I stand up from my chair, head held up as high as I can, and I walk to my dresser to pick out my outfit for this little meet up.

I open the drawer to my dresser and pull out a black zipper jacket and a pair of blue jeans to go with my white tank top. I was never one for a unique or specific fashion style, so I usually find what looks comfy or presentable to society.

I throw on my jacket and hoist up my jeans. But as I fiddle with my belt, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and notice my chest, particularly how pointy my nipples are. I can clearly see two points poking out through my tank top like mountain tops, all be it a bit more squishy.

“Maybe I should put on a bra…” I think to myself. I feel a bit of a blush run across my face. I’m good friends with Rachel, but not close enough to go commando around her like this. I quickly pull off my jacket and lift my tank top over my head, letting my breasts flop out with a bit of a bounce that I could feel ever but of.

My breasts are pretty big compared to the average woman, and definitely something I’m at least proud of having. Double D’s are not rare by any chance, but I didn’t know anyone back at my old high school as well endowed as me.

I rummage through my underwear drawer until I find a cotton-white bra to match my undies and quickly clip it on. After which I put my tank top back on followed by my jacket, and finally look myself in the mirror more closely to check myself out.

“Mmhmm, cute, but comfy!” I say aloud, complementing my own outfit choices. I give myself a twirl to check everything to make sure I look extra pretty and not a complete mess. I get a glimpse of my ass and feel a bit giddy that my jeans make it even more bubbly and firm. But that’s just the outfit, next up is makeup!

I walk closer to the mirror and pull open the drawer underneath. Inside is a bunch of makeup pallets and tools that I use almost everyday except for when I don’t leave the apartment.

Since it’s just a quick café visit, I don’t feel like going over board on the makeup. I pull out some light foundation, some contour, a bit of blush, and my masquera. I apply my foundation on my face and add contour to the sides of my face to give myself a nice head shape. Then I apply blush to my cheeks, not one of embarrassment from earlier thank god. Once that’s done I do up my eyelashes until I’m as pretty as Snow White, or at least as close as I can get to Snow White.

“Outfit, check. Makeup, check. Time to head out!” I think to myself.

I grab my wallet and keys next to my nightstand before walking over to the front door and slipping on my shoes. I take my phone out of my pocket and check the time. It reads 8:45, which was way sooner than I thought I’d be ready to head out.

I open the door and see a very familiar sight; A massive hallway lined with other doors, home to the other tenants of the apartment. The grey walls and white carpet give off a modern minimalistic feel to me, which I’ve always liked given how cheap it is to rent here.

I step outside of my apartment, close the door behind me and lock the door with my room key. I’ve always preferred actual keys over those electric key cards more modern hotels and apartments would give me when I first decided to move out. Nevertheless, I turn back around and head down the hall and down the long flight of stairs before I reached the lobby.

The lobby has a bunch of minimalistic furniture and a bunch of modern art, which means that the owners are really good with money, or they got all of this stuff for really cheap at an auction or something. The couches are black and white, and the tables and chairs are quite angular in shape to the point that they look really uncomfortable. I never dared to sit at one of them, but I imagine the cushions on the chairs are purely decorative.

“See ya Thomas!” I say as I walk through the lobby and straight to the entrance doors.

“Hope you have a nice day, Sophia!” Thomas says back. Thomas is an older guy, maybe in his mid forties from what I can tell. He has slick grey hair and a surprisingly thick black beard and mustache. I have no clue how he does it, but he looks old and young at the same time. He’s mild mannered and is definitely an old fashioned kind of guy.

He’s one of the owners and the manager of the lobby area. He’s usually busy with another tenant or reading his book of the week, so we don’t talk much outside of our greetings and goodbyes. But he is still an amazing man, especially since he discounted my rent while I was in college. If anyone has my back, it’s Thomas.

I open the front door and step outside. It’s particularly cloudy today, which I quite like to be honest. It’s cool and I’m always one for a bit of rain here and there.

I take a right over to the parking lot, quickly finding my car in the sea of other cars as mine is the only red one here. It’s a KIA that my parents gave to me when I moved out. It’s a bit old, but I love it nonetheless.

I unlock the car, swiftly get inside, close the door, and rev up my engine until it starts purring like a house cat. But before I begin to drive off, I connect my phone to the car speakers and queue up my song playlists. I look through what I have and decide today is a rock and roll day. So I put on my mid-2000’s rock playlist and begin driving out of the parking area as I jam out to some classics.