Chapter 1: Coach Rosy

After changing into my wrestling gear, my red trunks and white boots, I climbed into the ring in my garage. It was a shabby old thing, but was more than enough to teach aspiring wrestlers a thing or two. It had been a couple years since I started as a wrestling coach and the clients were still pouring in. I even started to give premium one on one sessions, for those willing to dole out the cash. As I began my stretches, my client marched through the door, looking far too eager for my liking. All these young and fresh wrestlers looking to make a name for themselves by beating down the previous generations. Nothing gave me more satisfaction than putting cocky little rookies in their place with some good old fashioned wrestling.

The young man climbed right into the ring without even introducing himself, standing at 5’8 and couldn’t have weighed more than 140 lbs. He was scrawnier than me and he didn’t seem particularly toned or muscular. As I sized him up, I was surprised by how much smaller he was than me. I was no giant, but I was above average height and had put on some mass over the years, I was pretty proud of the shape I had gotten into. I had the height and strength advantage, so I was feeling rather confident going into this training session. “Welcome, you must be Rex. I’m sure you’re awfully excited to train under someone with a pedigree like mine. You should consider yourself real lucky.” I gave him my spiel as I stuck out my hand. Half of being a decent wrestler is exuding confidence, and I was sure I was putting on a masterclass of swagger.

Rex grasped my hand firmly, excitedly shaking my hand up and down, gripping my hand so tight I actually winced. “I do feel lucky, standing in a ring across from the Rosy Boy! I’ve seen most if not all of your matches!” Rex showered me in praise, my cheeks blushing as my ego was fluffed. “Ah that’s too kind. You-” I was cut off by Rex’s incessant praise. “The way your face scrunches up whenever you take a beating! Or the way your mouth makes an ‘O’ shape when your slammed onto the mat! Or how your cheeks glow pink whenever you lose a match! It’s so fucking hot!” Rex explained to me. I looked on in awe by what he was saying, but I could tell he was being honest because of the glint in his eyes.

“Okay, you might think what you’re saying is flattering, but I assure you, my pride is a little wounded right now.” I barked back, beginning to feel a little insecure. “No no! I don’t mean to offend. I think it’s great the way you put over all the new talent. Letting all the rookies beat you up and pin you clean. The business needs people like you.” Rex continued to gush, insulting me all the while. “Woah woah woah! What do you mean people like me!? I’m not some kinda jobber, if that’s what you’re getting at!” My voice got louder and squeakier as I tried desperately to save face. “Oh sorry! I suppose I should say enhancement talent. That’s the correct term, right? I’m not too up to date on all the vernacular, I’m kinda new at this.” Rex tried to defend his accidental insults. My cheeks were glowing a bright red at this point, the verbal leaving me feeling embarrassed. “Grk! Listen, you’re gonna learn real quick that this business isn’t for the faint of heart. And if you don’t follow my guidance, you’re in for a rude awakening. So instead of flapping our gums, how about we start the lesson. And I can’t think of a better way to start things off than by wrestling each other.” I laid down the law, regaining my composure, as I leaned into my role as coach.

“Oh wow. I’ve never been in a real match before. All I’ve ever done is play wrestle with friends as a kid. So I hope you’ll go easy on me.” Rex sheepishly said as he shuffled his feet on the canvas. “Don’t worry, you’ll learn so much more about wrestling in defeat than you ever would in victory. So put on your gear and meet me back here. We’ll have ourselves a single fall match. And don’t be too discouraged if you lose too quickly. It’s all part of my process. I break you down, so I can build you back up.” I spoke with such gravitas, trying to cement myself as the leader in this relationship. “Yes sir! I’m sure I’ll learn plenty in a match against you. An old man like you must have years of wisdom to offer to a young up and comer like me.” Rex responded with glee and enthusiasm. I could feel my left eye twitch when he said old man. When did mid-thirties become old? I was beginning to think this punk was intentionally trying to get under my skin. “Is there a restroom where I can change?” Rex asked politely, to which I said with a wicked grin, “Ah... You can change just outside in front of the garage. Don’t worry, nobody comes around these parts. You’ll have all the privacy you need.”