Cersei Lannister

"You know despite what you think of me I didn't go mad with power right away." Cersei Lannister bitterly chuckled as she looked down upon her much-hated foe like they were old lovers and not mortal enemies. Jon Snow looked up at the mad queen from the dark dungeon floor unable to feel anything but shock. All he remembered was marching towards Kings Landing the host of a grand army ready to end this once and for all with Daenery by his side, all the while his mind rumbled with turmoil about the truth of his birth. Then suddenly he appeared here and the queen started ranting to him about some magical book that could grant wishes.

"I wanted to see my son. I wanted to hold him. You never had any children so you probably don't understand what it feels like, but when he died it felt like I was being ripped in half." Cersei tried to explain the words feeling like she was pulling teeth or igniting herself on fire they were so painful. Jon was tempted to say something about his father, excuse me his uncle, and the way his heart seemed to stop beating that fateful day, but he had decided it was better to let the queen rant and rave as tried to find a way out. Besides, even the mad queen had to have loved her children.

"All I wanted was a second chance to try and make things right. I closed my eyes to you and the dragon bitch burning my kingdom to the ground and when I opened them I was on my way to Winterfell with Robert." Cersei spat out the words dragon bitch like they were a curse and yet there was no anger in her words, more a tired resignation like they were old friends that split apart long ago.

"I didn't use it for anything else in the beginning. Maybe I was scared of using someone else's power I couldn't possibly control, or maybe I wanted to prove that I didn't need to cheat to win." Cersei wondered thoughtfully. It was an interesting question. What broke first her pride or her rage? It didn't matter, a lot of things broke when you've relived the same timeline hundreds maybe thousands of times.

"It took me a few times to accept that Jamie was the one destined to kill me. It took me many more times to realize Joffery was mad." Cersei teared up, but there was nothing left. Nothing but time and bitter disappointment.

"I still love Joffery, my son. I'll always love him, no matter how many times he tries to kill me." Cersei pleaded, almost as if it was an excuse. Almost as if she was trying to justify something and for some reason, it was scaring Jon more than if she was screaming to have him tortured.

"When I used my powers to fix him, I think that was the final line holding me back. Once you find one mistake to fix it's so easy to find another and another until soon, well there not even them anymore." Cersei looked away, tears finally falling from her eyes. Her shoulders were hunched over as if she was an old woman carrying a great weight and not the startling vision of beauty and strength she showed. Jon didn't care about her appearance, but even he had to admit she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Even Dany couldn't compare. If only it wasn't used to hide such evil.

"Sorry, I'm not usually this talkative or self-reflective," Cersei said as she composed herself again, more embarrassed by the show of emotions than she was by admitting she brainwashed her son. The apology was surprising enough to get a nervous laugh out of Jon.

"Don't mock me. Don't you dare mock me, I can sew your lips shut and turn your body into a living carpet for me to step on. Your here to serve my pleasure not your own." Cersei growled, the very ground around them shaking as she stalked forward. Jon couldn't hide his fear as maybe the mad queen wasn't as mad as she sounded.

"The white walkers, I can't write them away. I don't know why. I can't prevent the fall of Valeria either. It's like trying to change the way the sun moves or the passage of time, it's this fundamental **** that always happens. Ice and fire." Cersei ranted as she thrust her hands out and shattered the iron bars separating them like they were made of paper. Jon backed away into the corner like he was an infant trying to hide from a made-up monster.

"I won," Cersei said with an almost hysterical edge as she sat beside him on the dirty floor, her rage draining away. "I killed the white walkers and despite having a book that could freely change the world like I was a potter playing with clay, it was a lot more difficult than you would think."

"I won, but as I celebrated with a whole world dedicated to worshiping me it felt hollow. I remember celebrating, drinking, and fucking to my heart's content just happy to be alive and looking at Joffery, at my son, and knowing he wasn't Joffery." Cersei said finally defeated. The thousands of failures before hurting less than this.

"They sounded alike, they wore the same face, and yet it wasn't him." Cersei stared into the distance the same way soldiers recounted nightmares as she tried to reconcile the fact her happy ending could only happen if she killed her son.

"I don't want to suffer. I don't want my family to suffer. I want to enjoy every pleasure this life has to offer and yet I don't want dolls, I want people. Stupid, ignorant, and selfish, people." Cersei sighed sadly because even she knew the irony, of her of all people saying those words.

"Why ask me these questions if you have all this power?" Jon Snow asked after the silence between them lasted long enough for their thoughts to finally stop spinning.

"You're the same. No matter what happens, whether you're the son of Eddard Stark or Rhaegar Targaryen. My husband or my enemy. You stay the same. How?" Cersei asked, almost begging for an answer.

"People say I'm pretty stubborn." Jon joked and despite everything, Cersei laughed too and couldn't help but kiss him even as he turned to ash and this timeline was erased.