Carry on

You need to know. No matter what happened, it can't be worse than living your life in uncertainty. If someone did this to you, then you need to remember who and why so that you can protect yourself. If you did this to yourself, perhaps you can use this second chance at life to make amends, to turn your life around. And if it was an accident...well, then, there is no reason not to know what happened, and how it happened. Perhaps you have family or friends who need you, and who are worried about you. You have no memory of yourself, or what happened. And maybe the hospital doesn't know either. Maybe that's why they call you John.

In any case, you need at least to see yourself, to know who you are by looking at your face...or at least what has become of it.

Having regained a little of your strength, you move slowly and painfully away from the door, just far enough to get it open. The pain is intense, but you remember the woman's voice and you feel your courage returning. You reach up and grab the handle again, pulling it down.

With a grunt, you pull the door open a crack. It feels like it weighs a ton. You manage to get your fingers around the door and pull it towards you, just far enough for you to rest it against your shoulder. You push your way in. The room is dark, though you can make out the side of the toilet by the light gleaming off of the smooth porcelain. You need to turn on the light. Your hand gropes up the wall, looking for the light switch. You find it and turn it on.