Captain ???

Ah the sea, A pirates best friend and sadly my worst fear thanks to my powers. My name is Captain Doe and i have been sailing the seas for quite a while now with my strong crew of nearly four hundred men, i say nearly as a few or them are missing a arm or leg ha ha.

Pirate humour there, anyway i have been sailing now for nearly five years recruiting men from the east, west and even beyond the grand line to make myself the finest crew yet how this is all possible? It all thanks to the power of the normal normal fruit. You see i was not always like this, in fact i was a prisoner on the very ship i sail now which is named the bronze predator thanks to the large metal tiger head it has on the front.

Any how as i was saying, yes i was a prisoner on this ship after in my bad luck i tried to smuggle myself aboard a merchant ship. Hoping i could steal a few things then resell them where ever the ship stops, my little plan however came to a dead stop just a few days into the trip as pirates hit us.

Bunch of no named idiots who over ran the crew of the merchant ship before taking everyone they could alive including me. After that for the next few week i find myself used for their amusement taking beatings, eating mouldy bread and well just being someone they got spit on. I have no idea why they choose me when they had nearly ten other men to choose from however they made their last mistake when they **** me to eat a devil fruit.

Perhaps they did know about it or perhaps they were planning to throw me overboard after to watch me drown, either way what they did not expect is the fruit to give me the power of normality. Where everything i do and say is seen as normal in this world i can't remember how i found me powers but it had something to do with my bum....

Never mind the past is the past right? Yar what important now is the fact me and my men have been sailing for quite a while now and while being a crew member allows them to find some lass to bed when ashore, i however have not been so lucky.

I'm just not an attractive man plus most of the women my crew bring back i swear are more disease ridden then the rats that live in the port towns. No, no i needed a more refined women, one who hasn't given herself to the lady of the night, but alas where to start i wonder?

As i ponder over the matter standing near the front of my ship looking out at the blue sea, suddenly a shout of a crew mate takes me attention.

"Captain Doe, Captain look at whats in the paper today!"

The shout of one of many generic looking pirate men, i swear these people look like they are made by the same person. Still my own judgement aside, i take the newspaper off the lad before giving the front page a glance over to see the new story on the front is...