By bus

White cold air slithered through the holes in Stan’s costume. Sticking in between his flesh and the fabric, that was once his suit, like a disease. Even while wearing the old piece of cloth, it didn’t seem to protect him from the cold biting into him. His teeth chattering as he keeps his arms around him. Trying to be a bit smaller as he walks on. Knowing that just a few streets away there is a bus stop, though Stan doesn’t have any money with him. His wallet still at home. While he also doesn’t have the keys to his house. Stan got out worse for doing his heroic duty than if he hadn’t done anything at all. In all fairness this was the first time he actually did do some heroic thing, so to say that he was prepared for it would be a lie.

The worry about money or his keys however weren’t really a concern to Stan. It felt more like something he could worry about when he would arrive at the buss stop. What was playing over and over in Stan’s head was of a much more sensitive sort. All of his thoughts were centered on one person: Lauren. Never had he made her cry. Sure she had been angry at him a couple of times. Other times she had been aggravated. Sometimes for a good reason. While sometimes not so much. But never had he made her cry. Never had he walked away from a fight either. Today it really felt like he had lost. Perhaps that is also how Stan felt, lost. Though he didn’t know for certain. His mind having partly shut down on him. At least that’s what it felt like for him. As if his mind was walking through a thick mud. Trying to get to the answer of what he might truly be feeling. Though getting back empty handed. Perhaps our hero is feeling defeated.

After he had done the right thing. Immediately after his ‘heroic’ act, his instincts had presumably taken over and bitten his best friend. He didn’t even have a memory of leaping onto her. Though he must have done so, Stan did have some recurring thoughts about doing exactly that. He even thought that he could overcome those thoughts, that they were harmless. But it didn’t seem like what Stan had been thinking was true. Meaning that he either had to stop his thoughts or rethink what he could do in the future. Perhaps in the memories of that twisted villain he could find a way to cure himself. If anything, Stan wanted to have control over it.

Stan then struggled with the fact that he wasn’t mad at himself. It occurred to him while he was walking that he should be at least annoyed with himself for biting Lauren. After all it should be the number one reason he felt bad about all of this. However the hero rhetoric was lost on him. Too tired and cold to the bone, he didn’t really have energy to go into this moral dilemma. To be honest, the one thing Stan is annoyed with is that he didn’t have a memory of what he did. His greatest annoyance is in the fact that he couldn’t control himself, meaning that he could hurt other people as well. Though he wasn’t thinking too badly about biting Lauren. So he dismissed the whole thing for now. After all, now he is just trying to get to the buss stop.

When he finally arrived at said bus stop however he now seemed to remember the money problem. Though he really doesn’t want to try to walk all the way home. So he waits. Hoping for the bus driver to take pity on him. Something he wouldn’t have been able to predict when he decided to try out his costume. Which by some miracle still held on to his body. Perhaps mostly because of the old piece of clothing he had wrapped around his body like a bandage. Stan luckily didn’t have to wait long though.

A long yellow bus pulled up heading to the buss station. Meaning that Stan only had to wait a few stops. He could count himself lucky that the first test drive he did with the costume wasn’t too far away. Now that he would be standing in front of a stranger however made him feel a bit dumb though. The bright colors of red and blue making him feel a bit like a kid walking around on Halloween. Making Stan push the old coat against him a bit more forcefully as the doors to the bus opened. The sweet warmth of the air conditioning greeting Stan’s face almost immediately as the guy behind the wheel greets him.

“I’m sorry sir, I only live a few streets away and don’t have my wallet with…-“

The bus driver in the meanwhile looks at Stan. A spark fills his eyes almost immediately with recognition. To then have Stan’s voice be interrupted by his, a deep gruff Minnesotan accent.

“Hey, aren’t you that guy who survived the crash. It was all in the news!”

Stan looks a bit baffled at the guy whose chin jiggles a bit jolly as he laughs a bit too heartedly.

“Don’t worry son, you’re okay in here. I don’t have that many celebrities walk into a bus. Especially not that well dressed”

After he said that he laughs even louder. His under chin seeming to be able to take over the first chin. It looking quite comical being able to make Stan laugh as well. Feeling like he desperately needed a laugh after the whole fiasco. Making the coat open up a bit. The bus driver seeing the burned blue and red, his eyes widening at that, as he immediately stop laughing. Though he doesn’t say a word to Stan as he walks the aisle to find a seat. Luckily for him there seems to be nobody else on the buss a the driver pressed the gas peddle. A thoughtful expression having reached the older man’s face.

Stan in the meantime didn’t really look at the buss driver. He was busy with a thought from earlier: how he could prevent a possible other outburst. He really hated to let his control go. The sickness he felt seemed to only have spread across his body. Tainting him.

He already knew how willing the memories were. All this time he had kept them at bay. Trying not to see another one. Though now, as he sits comfortably in the bus. The warmth seeping into him. He can only reluctantly let go for a moment. Because perhaps…perhaps there is an answer…