Business- Set up for the party

You had been placed in charge of creating the bonfire that will be the centerpiece of the party. Your only guidelines from the president were “I want to be able see that fire from the fucking moon!”

Ok then.

After a couple hours of drafting, you came up with the design that should work. Not only will it be big, it should light quickly and dramatically. A tower of stacked wood, there was an open chamber in the middle of, which would be filled with combustibles that would quickly catch fire.

The construction of this tower was why you were currently in field where the party would be later that night with a cord of wood, and two hapless pledges. Once the three of you constructed the framework of this tower, you filled the central chamber with sticks, newspapers, bark, old notebooks, rags, anything that would burn quickly. You also had a gallon of kerosene to be poured on right before it was lit. If all went according to plan, the whole thing would go up like a roman candle. That would rely on the pledges though, so it was time for an inspirational speech.

“Hey tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber, come here!”

The pledges fell into line.

“I have had occasion to say previously that you two are of use to neither God nor man, and that one of the greatest tragedies that has befallen this fraternity was when you two chucklefucks conned your way in. Now, here is your chance to prove me wrong. You see this bonfire?”

The both nod.

“Exactly ten minutes before the busses arrive, pour the kerosene over the starter material in the middle. If all goes according to plan, it should go up real quick once Wade lights it. Now, it will burn hot, which means that you have to keep feeding it. We’ve got about half a cord of wood left, so once it starts to die down, keep putting more on until you run out. Clear?

More nods.

“Second part of your job- keep drunk assholes away from the fire; shoo them away, tackle them, punch them in the fucking face, I don’t care. No one gets their face burned off tonight, clear?”

Enthusatic nods.

“Good. Fuck this up, and I’ll toss you in the damn fire. See you tonight.”

With those encouraging words, you leave the pledges to go home and get ready.