Brady Bunch

You now see nothing but darkness.

You hear "Come on, Marcia. Share."

{if@ Male==true}"No way, Jan. I found him first. He was at the chess club. He looked so cute trying to date me, the most popular girl in school."

"Why does Marcia get all the good boys? MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA."{else}"No way, Jan. I found her first. She was at cheerleader practise. She looked so cute trying to make friends with me, the most popular girl in school."

"Why does Marcia get all the girls? MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA."{endif}

"Now share with your sister."

"Ahhh, mom."

You turn out to be wearing a blindfold, which is now yanked off.

You see Jan Brady and Marcia Brady smiling at you. Marcia's wearing pigtails. Mom Brady is there too.

{if@ Male==true}"In the science books they look much bigger than that,"{else}"She's not going to be cheering anymore,"{endif} Jan said, twisting her hair.

Your hands are tied and so are your legs.

"What are you doing? You can't do this me!" you scream.

"You should have thought of that before you tried to {if@ Male==true}date{else}make friends with{endif} my daughter," Mom Brady said. Suddenly the Brady music started to play soft. Like when the dad teaches his kids an important lesson.

"You see . It's a time and a place where every {if@ Male==true}man must know his{else}woman must know her{endif} place. Your place just so happens to be a sex . All we're doing is helping you find your place because..." mom said.

"Helping people is the Brady way," Jan joined in.

"Right, dear, right," Mom said, rubbing Jan's hair. "Now let's show this {if@ Male==true}boy{else}girl{endif} how us Bradys our slaves."