Boring Patrol

It's a really boring patrol for Ms. Blackheart.

It starts with a run of the mill purse snatching: A woman screams “Help, thief!” and Fantasia sees a masked man running at full tilt carrying a pink purse away from the woman who just screamed. A simple blast of lightning from Ms. Blackheart's glove into the concrete immediately ahead of the man startles him enough that he trips over his own feet, making him easy prey for when she jumps off her broom and lands heel-first on his head, knocking him out cold (they're not stilettos, and she wasn't THAT high). A quick call to the police, some statements, a couple pictures from the local news, and she's back in the air.

Then there's a mole men raid (when isn't there one?): A dozen burrowers pop out next to the street and start running, grabbing whatever women they can catch (just bimbos, here…), and dragging them back to the hole in the ground to take them down for the underground breeding pits. The screams of course attract the heroine, and it turns out mole people REALLY don't like fire on their fur… it catches and spreads, and they don't seem to know about ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll.’ In the end, there's a dozen roasted mole man corpses, a brief statement to the police, and some pictures for the local news before Fantasia is back on the job.

There was, of course, a stupid bank robbery next: The sandstorm gang apparently wanted to make a withdrawal, but their accounts couldn't cover it. So of course they had a dozen guys storm the place and point their sandblasters at everyone, screaming about money. A teller hit the panic button, the alarm rang out, Ms. Blackheart swooped in, and it turns out her personal amulet of protection does fine against the sand blasters, lightning melts sand into pretty glass sculptures, and goons flop around like landed fish when hit by low-dose lightning. A few more statements to the police, some posing for the local news crews, and the good witch is back in the air.

The whole day goes like that, with very little of note happening, just dullsville. The single most interesting thing Fantasia sees on the patrol is a pet store owner laughing as a kitten (yes, the store replaced the stock after the pink wave made it illegal to sell the merchandise) she just sold gets loose and climbs a tree, staying well away from the new owner (yes, Ms. Blackheart retrieves the kitten)... and even that's yawnworthy.

After a good eight hours of such bupkis, the sorceress calls it a night, and stops for dinner, picking out ‘Six Sluts Sandwiches & Sodas’, some local joint, just to see what it's like… and the answer is “remarkably plain”. Six topless women behind a counter (all blonde and very busty, must be locals) the first takes the order and payment, writes it down with actual paper and pen, then passes it off to the next lady in line, who slices the bread and passes it to the next lady, who adds the sauces, and so on down the line. The last one in line wraps it, handing it to the Sorceress along with her soda. It doesn't take long.

The Sorceress samples the simple sandwich and soda, smiles, and sits at a standard table. She then slowly savors the surprisingly superb sandwich and sweet soda, scarcely seeing the servers for the simple sublime sensations from eating. When she's done, she is still not sated, so gets back in line and orders some salty snack nuts. Fantasia looks around as she eats the nuts, and spies a poster: It has “Post-battle restoration sponsored by…” at the tip, and then a big blue letter S in front of a gold shield… she doesn't recognize the logo.

“We're going to need one of those…” the good witch considers, “...and I should have a few other names from the short list, folks that won't be bothered by the doctor's power because they're already busty blondes, or maybe shape shifters who can just remove the side effects.” She takes another sip of soda, “this does need to be real. Who's good…” Fantasia pulls out her phone and starts searching for blonde heroes, muttering to herself.

“Coaplayer? Probably wouldn't mind the hair change, but let's make her second list… Dollface? Nah, anti-heros make for too much friction. Vanessa LaBlanche?” Fantasia looks a few things up, “...oh, too much to lose. Obviously anyone already on a super team won't do… Jenny XXX-9… is she even compatible? Hmmm….”

Ms. Blackheart searches through for a while, and finally has her A and B lists….