Boing goes the love.

Once there, I lightly kicked open the door.

"What was all that ruckus?" Inside, the voice upon entry indicated a faintly distracted segue, even as it served as an adamant inquiry.

"Oh, nothing." My babe of a wife was sat up against the headboard of the bed with a laptop over her blanketed legs. I set down her plate by the end table, then caressed her shin through the sheet. "Just the kids. You know how they can get."

"Yes, I do." She returned my kiss with a quick smooch, but made it clear she had work to do. I wasn't sure what she did for a living. Some fancy white collar work. Maybe even management. Who knew. "They took from you, asshole."

"You're the one spewin' profanities." I sat down next to her and gnawed off some bacon. On a whim, I threw on the most effective air freshener currently on the consumer market and had it plugged into the outlet adjacent to me. Without moving from my spot, of course. Also cleaned some clothes off the floor, removed the dust from the window ledge, tidied the closet -- and expanded it a little, since it was now including both my wardrobe and that of the lady of the house.

Realizing I was still in the dark, I asked, "Hey, what's your name again?"

"Quiet you, I'm trying to finish this up before I head in." The woman hadn't even touched her food. I prodded further.

"Really, what's your name?" I compelled her to answer.

"Mallory Jay Halton."

"Halton. That's your maiden name, correct?"

"Uh-huh." She finally grabbed a strip of bacon. In no time, it was one-thirds smaller.

I was a bit bored, so ventured to play. "Could you drop that bacon into your cleavage?"

Within the second that passed, Mallory didn't say anything. Instead, she rolled her eyes, and, surely enough, removed the strip from her lips and dangled it wryly in front of her. Staring at me with partial bemusement, she finally released her fingertips, allowing the strip of bacon to descend into the valley of her soft, curvy jugs, currently tightly packed into a tanktop, the same one, I suppose, she chose to go to sleep in.

It wasn't quite a wad of gum, but it would do.

Breaking into a stretch, she reached over for another helping. "One strip of bacon in cleavage: check. Now could I actually eat the rest of my breakfast or do you think my boobs --" Hmm. Rewind. "--do you think my fat big giant whore-titties need more feeding?"

That was better. "Go ahead and eat," I shrugged. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, after all. Do you want some cock with that?"

Mallory laughed and slapped me in the arm.

"No, really, I'll **** you with my dick if you want. Then take pictures of your **** body and share it with all of your friends."

"You're too funny," Mallory shook her head, amused by my harmless, benign, family-friendly jesting. "And just in case you're being serious, thanks but no thanks. Not my jam. Already went over this a million times, you know that." She looked up from her computer screen to give me a quick peck on the cheek. "I don't even know why I love you sometimes."

Being honest, I replied. "Neither do I."

Once we were done with the food, I threw the empty dishes at the ceiling, causing them to shatter. The fragments dissipated into miniature wormholes that appeared to suck them all into their depths, then disappeared without a trace as I looked back to Mallory.

After a quick thought, she looked at me. "Hey, my asshole is itchy. Wanna fuck it?"

"Yeah." I threw my trousers to the carpet and climbed knee-first onto the mattress as my poster-made-beautiful wife clapped her laptop closed and turned around to point her rear towards me.

"Nothing like some anal in the morning, right babe?" Mallory said, face out of view, on all fours.

"Right, hon." Dick pulled out, I drew back the covers from her trim, lithe 30-something body and marveled at her beautiful legs and back. Her hindquarters were bulging like there were no tomorrow. I moved her panties to the side to allow entry. "How about you? Ready for some buttfucking before work?"

Without turning around, she raised her arm. One thumb was pointed up in affirmative.

"Awesome."

After mildly lubricating her asshole in an imperceptible blink, I wasted no further second of time. In straight convention, I stuck my penis into her tight chute and plunged as far in as I could. She instantly moaned a deep, guttural growl as her abdominal muscles twitched and she sunk her head into the crook of the mattress ever slightly, but nevertheless ground her firm, jiggly apple cheeks over my crotch. She was intent on swallowing all of my penis with her butthole, no matter the cost. Had to admire the tenacity.

Smack, I laid my palm across her right buttock as I thrust in and out. And then again. And again.

I was giving it to her rough. Didn't matter, as she was wholly taking it,

"OOF! AAGHHHA! MMM-AAHGRHG!"

As her loud outbursts ricocheted against the walls and over the rail, I enjoyed the feeling of her tight walls concaving against my pulsating shaft.

"FUCK. DEEPER, HONEY, YES! OOOOHHHOOO!"

"What?" My ear beckoned, as I slammed into her, casting an undeniable squelching to squeak to the heavens, her smooth insides mingling with my penal leakage. "Like THIS?"

"OOOOHH YES, FUCK! YES, LIKE THAT! OHHGAWD AHGGH FUCK! THAT HUUURTS!"

"Want some more?"

"YEAH I WANT SOME MORE! GIMME MORE, BABE, FUCK ME, FUCK ME SILLY, FUCK ME DRY!"

So I did.

Oh: the things we do for love.