Bluff!

With only a few seconds to think and nowhere to run to, your mind races for a believable lie.

You quickly stand up and brush yourself off, trying to make yourself look presentable as possible under the current circumstances.

"Mimzy, what on earth has gotten into you? Is this another one of your practical jokes?" The voice sounds much clearer now, and you can it is definitely feminine.

"I swar milady, its the goldarn trooth it is!" That must be Mimzy you think to yourself, pondering why servants always have cockney accents.

The wagon driver re-emerges from around the tree, her mistress in tow, just as you finish brushing yourself off.

The two women look at you in shock for a moment. Before they can say anything, you start talking, trying to project as much of an air of confidence as you can muster.

"Hmmph! Just what I would expect from a low-born commoner," you say, trying to put on as posh of an accent as you can muster. "They never look where they're going, and never apologize when they dirty your clothing," you say as you pretend to brush dirt off of a dress you are clearly not wearing.

You make eye contact with the two women, and finally manage to get a good look at both of them.

Mimzy, the wagon driver is decked out in the dirty and patchwork clothing of a poor servant. She is quite short, in comparison to her mistress and yourself. Strands of tangled red hair stick out from underneath her cap, her face is covered in dust from the road, but not unattractive. Her breasts are small, her body is thin and generally has the look of someone who has never gotten enough to eat.

Her mistress on the other hand, could serve as a poster child for the excess of nobility. Her face is overdone in white make up (which you hear is the popular new trend in court), her hair is done up in an elaborate style with several pieces of very expensive jewelry woven in to it. She wears a very shapely and expensive looking green dress that seems to emphasize her bosom and hips. She appears to be similar in height to yourself.

"I am Lady Esmeralda de compe duh Fakename," you say. "Duchess of Madeupilan, daughter of the late Baron Bogus duh Fakename," you declare.

The two continue to stare at you, Mimzy's mouth slightly agape.

"Pretty smooth," you think to yourself, although you quickly realize you should have added a couple of 'Vons' in there to really sell it.

"And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing?" you say, putting unnecessary emphases on your words.

"Oh... um, I am Lady Vena and this is my servant, Mimzy," she says as she nudges her servant. "Don't stare Mimzy, its impolite."

"BUT SHE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!" Mimzy shouts, "WHAT KIND OF A WEIRDO HANGS OUT BEHIND A TREE WITH NO -"

You interrupt Mimzy with another loud 'hmmph' and turn your attention to Vena. "I would expect such foolishness from such an simple-minded and clumsy servant."

Lady Vena looks at you in a confused manner and then quickly silences her loud servant.

You hold out you arms and then spin around, as if you were showing off an elaborate ball gown, while in reality you're simply flashing the two.

"It's the latest fashion trends in the high court," you say, trying not to blush. "They call it emperor's silk. A fabric hand-woven by the elves' greatest artisans from moon drops and silver dew. They say its so fine and pure, that only the smartest and most wholesome of people can actually see it.

Lady Vena looks at you with a puzzled look, which quickly shifts to nervousness.

"I never believed the rumors myself, since everyone in the high court always speaks at great length about its ever-shimmering beauty, but leave it to an ignorant country bumpkin of a servant to prove the legends true," you say before giving your best impression of a snooty noble's laugh.

Mimzy scowls at you after this latest insult. Vena looks perplexed.

"Don't you agree its the most splendid thing you've ever seen? Its becoming all the rage these days, but because its so hard to come by, only the wealthiest and most powerful nobles have had a chance to acquire it."

You stare at Vena, a single bead of sweat pouring down the side of your forehead, down your neck and between your two very exposed breasts. "Please buy it! Please buy it! Please buy it!" You think to yourself.

"Oh! Um... yes! Yes of course!" Vena says. "It's truly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"

A massive weight lifts from your chest. "I can't believe that worked!" You think to yourself.

"Please, you must tell me more about this wondrous material and of the latest goings-on of the court. It's been ever-so-long since I've had a chance to attend," Vena says as she grips your arm and starts to pull you back towards.

"Um well, I'd love to, but I'm afraid I must be going..." you say, completely taken back by this latest development.

"Nonsense! Besides Lady compe duh Fakename, as a noble of such higher standing than myself, it is my duty to provide you with dinner and an evening of entertainment. It must be done to compensate your honor for the foolish and poor behavior of my idiot servant Mimzy," she says as she continues to pull you towards her carriage, rather forcefully in fact.

Mimzy starts to protest this latest development, but an incredibly harsh pronunciation of her name by Vena puts a stop that.

"This really isn't necessary," you say as you try to figure out what the Hell you've just done.

"Oh, but I'm afraid etiquette dictates otherwise," says Vena cheerfully as she pulls you into the carriage and shuts the door.