Blended

Patty Dunham presses her nose against the glass and both hands. “You should go faster,” she says, watching the fields fly by.

Behind the wheel of the CRV, Piper Dunham smiles patiently. “The limit is 65, Patty.”

Patty makes a rude noise.

Having a younger sister is challenging; having a much younger sister, doubly so. Patty and Piper are ten years apart. It doesn’t help that Patty doesn’t even come close to acting her age. A normal child would be scrolling for such a long drive, not staring at sugarcane.

“This is stupid,” Patty announces.

“Gonna have to be more specific.”

“You guys get to have the house with our parents gone and I have to kick a ball.”

“If you were home with us, what would you do?” Piper asks.

“I don’t know. Stay up late. Have my friends come over.”

“You can stay up late with your friends at camp, can’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Patty grumbles. “Like I ever went to camp before.”

The parking lot is busy. Piper gets Patty’s bag out of the back.

“Val!” Patty squawks. “What is she doing? Val!” She takes off. Piper watches calmly, then turns as another kid wanders up chewing gum, this one conspicuously gangly.

“You have big boobs,” the girl says, staring at them openly.

Piper takes a deep breath and smiles down at the lanky child with the unfortunate face that she will hopefully one day grow into. “Thank you, Alice. Do you want to impress me?”

“Yeah.”

Piper points. “Go find Patty and Val. Bring them over there to the welcome center. Where’s your mom?”

“Dunno.”

“OK, cool. Find Patty and Val. I’ll find your mom.”

“OK.”

It takes half an hour to get Patty checked in and settled in her cabin. There are no sentimental goodbyes. The next two weeks will probably be a period of extraordinary peace and quiet at home; Piper isn’t going to pretend that she doesn’t appreciate that. She walks away from the cabin in the bright sun, idly taking in the admittedly lovely camp facilities with the shouting and chaos of dozens of children in her ears. If she were a camp counselor, she would welcome a machete from a masked killer before facing this for an entire summer.

She gratefully climbs behind the wheel and starts the car, queueing up her jazz fusion playlist for the drive back to Gurlberg.

A call is coming in before she’s even out of the parking lot. She jabs the hands-free button.

“Hi, Mary.” Piper hits her blinker and waits for a van to go by before pulling out.

“Hey. I’m at the airport. Where are you at?”

“I just dropped her off.”

“Is she gonna be OK?”

“She’ll be fine. Her friends are here. I’m sure we’ll get a call about her doing a dare and breaking her arm or something.”

“OK. Can you hold it together at home for me?”

Piper yawns. “What do you mean?”

“You know. Make sure the house is still standing when your mom and I get back?”

“Did you forget that your daughter is two weeks older than I am?”

“You’re the most mature. I’m not kidding myself about that.”

“You think I’m more mature than Bella?”

“Bella doesn’t do responsibility,” Mary says.

Piper smiles. It’s true. “I love that you’re treating us like teenagers.”

“Kayla’s still a teenager.”

“And she’s gonna bring a hundred guys home while you’re gone, and we all know it.”

“That’s why I need you to make sure that none of those guys are serial killers.”

Piper smiles and rubs her face. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you.”

“You’re being awful sweet,” Piper says.

“I’m always sweet.”

“Politifact rates this statement mostly true.”

“OK, smartass. Love you guys. Keep up with the laundry while we’re gone.”

“Yup.” Piper ends the call with her stepmother and sets her cruise control.

BLENDED

The Jameson-Dunham family lives outside Gurlberg, over the county line. A bigger house was necessary when Piper’s mother married Mary Jameson, with four girls between them. The 6-bedroom farmhouse was a stretch, but necessary. Things never would’ve worked without enough space for all the girls to get away from each other.

Piper has the good luck of turning into the driveway to be greeted by the welcome sight of Bella Jameson pulling weeds. She’s on all fours in the flowerbed by the front porch in a pair of red shorts that Piper likes very much under the circumstances.

Piper parks and climbs out into the brutal sunshine. Bella glances over her shoulder, then removes an AirPod.

“Hey,” she says.

“Whatcha doing?” Piper asks, approaching. Bella is Mary’s niece; she’s a student at UFG, so it’s economical for her to live here instead of in the dorms. The guest bedroom has been hers for the past two years. She’s actually the oldest, but she would never try to get Kayla in line, and Kayla would never even consider listening to her.

Bella has the Jameson hips and bust, and she might be the prettiest Jameson, although she doesn’t put much effort into it. She’s serious and diligent, and a perfect guest.

Bella shrugs, looking alarmingly good as she sits in the dirt, covered in sweat, in a tank top with no bra. “It’s summer. I need something to do.”

A local college guy does most of the yard work, and he does a decent job, but he doesn’t weed. The beds do look a little rough. Bella has a part-time job in the university library, but that’s only sixteen hours a week. She often appears to be lying around, but she isn’t. There’s always a book or a podcast or something.

Piper has complicated feelings about that. “I’ll help,” she announces. “Let me change.”

“Everything cool with camp?”

“Yup. No kids for two whole weeks,” Piper calls over her shoulder.

Safe in her room, she takes off her cute clothes and checks her appearance, pausing for a moment to rub her lower back. She arches it with a little wince, then straightens her bra. She doesn’t have the massive Jameson breasts, but they’re more than enough to bring her an exhausting amount of unwanted attention. She situates her penis in her panties and pulls on some shorts, then freshens up her deodorant.

Piper sighs happily as she frees herself from her bra, then dons her blue bikini top and puts her hair up in a scrunchie. It’s hot, they live outside town, and it’s summer. There’s no better time to dress this way. She puts on her yellow flip flops with cherries on them and goes downstairs. Weeding isn’t Piper’s first choice, but if she does this, she can be lazy later and not feel guilty about it.

“I’m going to a CCL party,” Bella confides as they work.

“That doesn’t sound very you. Did Ying talk you into it?”

“Not really. But I don’t network very well on my own.”

“You want to join them?”

Bella doesn’t look or sound very enthusiastic. She’s not exactly a party person. “It’s the smart thing to do.”

Piper can’t argue with that. Bella isn’t outgoing, but she is pragmatic. It’s hard to get ahead without other people. The truth is, Piper has been having similar thoughts. She has a pretty strong friend group at the university, but almost none of them are local. They’re all home for the summer.

“How many CCL chicks are here over the summer?” Piper asks.

“I don’t know. At least a couple.”

They’re step-cousins, and Piper has only known Bella for a fraction as long as she’s known her stepsisters, Riley and Kayla. She’s still much closer to Bella.

A car pulls up, but Piper stays focused on Bella. “You’re doing the smart thing. If I had more willpower, I’d do it too. You know about the dumb initiation, right?”

Bella shrugs. “It’s fine. Don’t look, but Riley’s staring at us.”

Piper takes that in gracefully. It’s not the first time, and Piper is dressed like a girl who wants to get killed first in a slasher film. Riley’s appreciation for the female form is a little over the top, but she’s not gross or weird about it. Her relative shyness is even endearing sometimes.

Piper and Bella are just dressed for the weather, but to Riley, this must seem like brutal ****.

A car door has not opened yet. “She’s still looking?” Piper asks with a shake of her head.

“Yup.”

“Many heroic tissues were sacrificed in the war…” Piper says, and Bella snorts.

“Aunt Mary put you in charge?”

“I don’t think we need to put it like that.”

Bella points a handful of weeds, raising an eyebrow. “She didn’t tell you to supervise those two?”

“She did, but they’re grown women. Riley’s the oldest.”

“Kayla can’t even feed herself.”

“Of course she can.”

“She just eats cereal. And she rips the boxes open like a wolverine and eats it with her hands and then leaves it all out on the counter. Drives me batty,” Bella says.

“Look, we have to keep it from turning into Lord of the Flies, but we are not being part-time moms for these two,” Piper tells her firmly. “That’s not our job.”

“OK. What do we do when we can’t sleep because we’re hearing Kayla’s skull get bashed against her headboard by Chad McAlpha?”

“Then we have to be more assertive. Is she still watching?”

“Yup.”

“Oh my god. Riley, please,” Piper whines.

“I’m this close to asking Ying to sleep with her. Swear to God.”

“Doesn’t she have a girlfriend?”

“That’s the only reason I haven’t asked yet. What about you? Is there someone you can set her up with?”

“They all went home, Bella. I’m alone,” Piper says dramatically. “That’s why I’m clinging to you. She’s still there?”

“Yup.”

“I dare you to flash your boobs at her.”

“Oh my god.”