Blended Ch 29

“Hey, seriously,” Piper says. It’s summer, and her brain works quickly. It’s a gift and a curse. “This contest. Is the owner going to participate?”

“How would I know?”

Piper chews her lip and runs some quick calculations. She looks across the street in time to see a tiny, delicate, Instagram-ready girl in full goth-loli costume vanish into the vape shop. That’s no girl; that’s Sammy, nightmare demon lord of Gurlberg. He makes men question their sexuality, and he drives women crazy with perfect eye makeup and makes every article of clothing work. He’s never been photographed, or perhaps even seen, out of character as far as Piper knows. She’s not the only one who feels that his streaming series level costuming is wasted on a town like Gurlberg.

“Hang on. I just spotted Sammy.”

“Crossdressy Sammy?”

“How many Sammys do you know?”

“What’s he got to do with anything?”

“He’s going to help me paint my masterpiece,” Piper says. “Plan on the contest tonight. I’ll come with you.”

Bella’s puzzlement is nothing compared to her relief. She wanted an out, but when it became clear she wasn’t getting that, she was clearly fishing for this consolation prize.

“Thanks, Piper. I’ll make this up to you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Piper ends the call, kills the engine, and climbs out of the car. She braves the heat, which she doesn’t like, and enters the vape shop, which she likes even less.

Sammy stands at the counter, his chunky wedges helping him present with what is probably the best posture that Piper has ever seen.

“You’re supposed to know this stuff,” he insists.

“I don’t know what this is. I don’t even know if it’s a cart,” the flustered guy behind the counter says.

“I need to know if there’s weed in it.”

“Why?” Piper asks, walking over.

Sammy turns with a glorious hair toss. “Because we have rules, Piper.”

“You mean you and the people you live with? No weed rule?”

“That’s right.” Sammy positions his hand on his hip to show off his incredible nails.

Piper’s eye twitches. She can’t resist the bait. “OK, who did those?”

“These?” Sammy puts her hand out with a smirk. “Chadlee.”

“She’s really good. Where did you find this sketchy Chinese vape?”

“See?” Sammy turns to the clerk, who flinches. “She can tell that it’s sketchy and Chinese.”

“That could be a guess,” the clerk counters. “You know how like some guesses are just really obvious?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, uh, if you have to make a prediction about the future. If you predict that things will be bad in the middle east, you’ll always be right. And if you guess R2D2 when you’re playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, you’ll usually be right,” the clerk says. “Unidentified vape? Yeah, probably made in China. Doesn’t make her Magellan.”

“Wait, Magellan?” Piper cuts in.

“He means Copernicus,” Sammy says airily.

Piper narrows her eyes. “Nostradamus, maybe?”

“That’s what I said,” the vape guy says with a shrug.

“Can I talk to you?” Piper asks Sammy, who sighs prettily.

“Depends. Do you smell weed?” She offers the sketchy vape to Piper.