Billie Joe Armstrong

As soon as I realize who I saw, my muscles relax a little, my fear mostly stemming from the flash of recognition itself, rather than who I had recognized. Thank fucking God. I mean, the man’s not harmless, but he doesn’t really seem like the human-pet type. I turn my attention back to where I was running, continuing on my run with my regained sense of calm. It seems clear that most other park-goers share my feeling of safety, as everyone also seems to be going on with what they were doing, regardless of the obvious celebrity in the area.

I get lost in my music and thoughts again, once again secure in my safety. That is, until someone behind me shouts for my attention. I whip around and pull out my earbuds, suddenly being thrust back into fight or flight. My gaze lands on an armed man standing uncomfortably close to me. Fuck. I quickly shove my earbuds into my pockets, as the man approaches getting ready to either fight or get shot. Is this a setup? This feels like a setup.

“Listen here, you dumb motherfucker-”

“No need to be mean.” Shut up.

“What did you say to me?”

“Nothing, man. Calm down.” Calm down? You don’t tell fucking criminals to calm down when they’re about to mug you. Jesus.

“Good. Now shut the fuck up and give me your fucking money.” I freeze up for a moment, unsure of what to do. _Give him the money. Just give him the money. This asshole isn’t worth dying over. _Before I have the chance to respond, the sound of footsteps on the grass behind me cuts me off. I turn my head towards the noise to see the same familiar face from earlier. Fuck.

“Hey, man, leave him alone.” This- is this a setup? He feels suspiciously nice for this to be a setup. I try to fight down the confusion building inside of me, hoping that I’m not getting played in one of the most confusing setups I’ve ever seen.

“And why the fuck would I do that?” That’s not a bad question.

“What, don’t you recognize me?” Oh no. Billie Joe pauses for effect, as anxiety builds up in my chest. I see a flash of recognition pass across the face of the man in front of us, with slight fear following soon after. As soon as the pause ends, Billie puts his hand on my shoulder, pulling me in closer to him, and lowers his tone, almost threateningly so. “Look, I give the word and I can have ten big scary men on your ass in a heartbeat.” Fuck. “And then, I can play the whole hero act and then I’ll fucking own you, do you understand me?” The would-be thief and I tense up in unison, his words sending fear through both of us.

Without a second thought, the strange man nods frantically and runs off. As much as I wish I could be thankful that I didn’t get mugged or killed, a pit in my stomach about the other pieces of my situation won’t let me. The sound of the man next to me laughing about what he’d done doesn’t help any.

After a moment, I feel Billie turn to face me. Oh fuck. In spite of my fear, I turn to meet his gaze, hoping that acting normal will make everything easier on me. “Do you feel alright?”

“Yeah. Guy scared the shit out of me, but I’m- I’m fine.”

“Good. Hey, do you wanna get out of here?” I pause, unsure of what the right answer to the question is. “Come on, this place is crawling with goons and I’m pretty sure I own you now so you don’t really have a choice.” He laughs at the end of his sentence, somewhat calming my nerves.

“Yeah, sure. Probably shoulda been outta here earlier, anyway.” Billie Joe puts his arm around my shoulders, halfway leading me to his car. In spite of myself, I feel my fear starting to melt off of me, at least as much as it can in my situation. “You come here often?”

“What?”

“The park. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you there, but I don’t really pay too much attention to the shit going on around me, so that’s not really a good mark of things.” He chuckles a little, before responding.

“Nah. I just kinda got a gut feeling that something was gonna go south and I figured I should probably be the guy to stop it, not some jackass with bad intentions. I just, I have a mind for these things, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. And thank you, really. Probably woulda got kidnapped or killed or some shit if you didn’t show up.” I push back the dark implications of what I’d said, hoping that maybe my days of looking over my shoulder, avoiding public places, and hiding from celebrities are over.

“No problem, man. With the whole legal nightmare, someone’s gotta look out for the ‘little guy.’” The thought of asking if he ‘owns’ anyone else passes through my mind, but I ignore it, not wanting to make myself any more anxious about the situation than I already am. My eyes turn to the road, watching houses and cars pass by.

God, what if this is a set up? Who cares what he said, people fucking lie. Maybe he came here to get in the way of other people’s set ups and fuck them over. Fuck. Goddamnit. I fucked myself.

“Hey, do you smoke?”

“What, like pot?”

“Yeah, that. I was gonna light up when we got home, but I won’t do it if you’re not, like, a stoner or okay with it or whatever.”