Bare your feelings to Pearl

God, you're lost.

You spend a small eternity sitting on a flimsy folding chair outside the portable girls' restroom area, waiting for Pearl. The whole time, you mull over these questions and more. You made a hasty decision playing with the Juicer Max, thinking it'd give you a better shot with Jane. If you knew it'd lead to this...

Pearl finally comes out, fully dressed in her tight outfit and cropped jacket, not one hair out of place. Walking over, she casually adjusts her huge boobs in her top to get them centered and comfortable. But when she's close enough to make out your face in the dim light, she frowns and halts in front of you with hands tucked firmly in the pockets of her pink cargo shorts.

"Hey. What up with that face?" she asks, bumping your shoulder with her hip. "I thought I'd find you out here grinning like a big dumb idiot. Where's big dumb idiot Chase?"

You feel heavier with the victim of your actions confronting you like this. Pearl's supposed to be your best friend. What did you do to her?

You dust your jeans off and rise, shaking your head. "I'm just tired."

"Really? I'm still riding the wave. I'm just like - I'm buzzing all over. Seriously, feel this," says Pearl, guiding your fingers to feel the top of her hand.

Sure enough, her fingers tremble slightly.

"I'm so fucking wired right now. My hands won't stop shaking," she says. "Feels like I'm floating. Seriously, if my boobs weren't so big, I'd fly away."

The comment is so ridiculous coming from Pearl, despite your dour mood, it takes everything you have not to laugh. You withdraw your hand from between hers before she tempts you into smiling. Now is not a smiling time. Not after what you've done.

"I'm sorry, Pearl," you tell her, unable to meet her eyes. "What I did to you - god. It's so messed up."

A look of guilt crosses her face. "Shit. Chase, no. I take back what I said about being responsible. You have nothing to prove to me. You're the most responsible guy I know."

You snort at that. "See, you'd have never said that before about me. I'm incredibly irresponsible. I can't even turn an essay in on time. I'm horrible with stuff like this. You're my best friend, and I used you for sex the second I lost control."

"Man, I knew I was being too pushy," says Pearl, wringing her hands worriedly. "Listen - back there, you weren't in control, Chase, I was. I wanted you to lose control. I made you lose control. I make a whole big show of it so you feel like you're calling the shots - 'cause I want you to feel special! - but we both know I'm the brains of the operation."

You sniff. At least that hasn't changed. "You're too smart to be with a big dumb idiot like me."

Pearl slaps you. You clap a hand over your cheek, stunned.

Tears brim in her eyes. "I like big dumb idiots," says Pearl. "Big dumb idiots aren't smart enough to lie, or cheat, or steal, without being caught. You always know what they're thinking. When they're upset, you can tell. When they don't want you, you know. And when things get hard, they don't up and leave, 'cause they just don't know any fucking better."

It doesn't feel like Pearl's really talking about big dumb idiots anymore. You always knew her dad was an abusive asshole, but her mom left him before Pearl was old enough to remember, and Pearl rarely talks about it.

"I am happy, Chase. I am happy with you," she says. "Sex makes it better, 'cause, maybe it means you like me as much as I like you. Maybe it means you won't get rid of me the second you realize what a bitch I am."

That's a step too far. You grab Pearl's extra-puffy arms. "Pearl, you are not a bitch. You're way more smart, and thoughtful, and considerate than I could ever be."

Pearl smiles, tears streaming down her face and streaking her makeup. "See? Who'd say something so fucking nice about me, except for a big dumb idiot?"

Stupid Pearl, twisting your words around. Even when she's wrong, she's right. There's no way you can win this argument with words. That doesn't mean you have to play by her rules. You're bigger and stronger than Pearl, so you play your trump card.

You wrap Pearl in a firm hug, and don't let go.

"L-let go of me you dope," Pearl sniffles, struggling feebly against your arms.

You don't move a muscle. When it's clear neither of you is going anywhere, Pearl bursts into tears. She clutches the front of your shirt like a little girl and sobs into your chest.

You hold her while she cries. You hold her till sobs stop wracking her body. And then you keep holding her for a while, for good measure.

You made a mistake with the Juicer. But, being with Pearl, in this moment? It feels like the rightest thing you've ever done.

After few minutes of comfortable silence pass by, you rub Pearl's warm back. "Are you ready to get back to the party?"

Pearl glances furtively up at you, and nods. You take her hand, and together, walk back toward the bass-beat of the rave.