Back to Reality

“I’M HOME!”

My one arm loaded with groceries and the other carrying a still hot pizza I kick the door closed behind me.

“I’m in here.” I hear Kiki say from the kitchen table.

She is all smiles as I round the corner with the spoils I purchased from my first day of dishonest work. I wasn’t surprised to see her still in the old t shirt and gray shorts that she wore as pajamas with no make up and her long curly hair all tussled. At just past five in the afternoon Kiki’s day was just getting started. The moment the bags and pizza box are down on the counter she is up off of her chair. Hurrying to me she slips her arms around my torso and pulls me in for an extra hard hug.

“You did it.” She says as she rests her head on my chest.

“Yeah.” I hug her back. I go to let go of her again but she keeps me held close so I keep the embrace going too.

“You okay Donny?” She looks up at me with sisterly concern. Her pinpoint pupils told me she’d already had her morning joint, laced with heroin of course. “How you doin kid?”

“I’m not a kid.” I grin and kiss her forehead before jesting in a gruff voice. “I did man’s work today.”

She laughs and gives me a rough shake then squeezes me in yet another hard hug. “Listen to this guy. One trick and he thinks he’s king of the fuck boys.”

“Ha!”

“Donny.” She says more seriously. “I want to hear about it.”

“Food first.” I insist, after having Evelyn in my arms little Kiki felt like skin and bones by comparison.

“Deal!” She chirps. “I’m starving.”

The groceries are put away and soon we sit at our cluttered little table eating pizza off of napkins and both drinking the cola straight from the big bottle.

“You weren’t supposed to start until next week.” Kiki says between hungry bites. “Mmm. I wanted to talk to you first. I told Diane you weren’t ready.”

“I did fine.” I assure her. “It was something of an emergency I guess.”

Kiki scoffs. “With Diane it’s always an emergency.” A little grin grows on her face. “Soooo, gonna tell me about it?”

“It was…um…it was different than I expected.”

“Oh?” She says. “Lamar said you went out to one of them fancy suburbs.”

“Oh yeah, it was fancy! You shoulda seen the place.”

“Lucky.” She quips. “I’ve been to a penthouse but never out to those swank mansions. You must have been so nervous!”

“Eh, a little.” I bluff.

“Pff! Lamar said you forgot your jacket and phone in the car.”

I chuckle. “Okay, a lot.”

“I was too on my first.” She says. “So, tell me about…her.”

Try as I might I cannot hide the humongous smile that comes naturally to my face.

“Ahhhh!” She points at me. “Look at you! Ha ha ha! She was good, huh?”

“Uh, yeah. Really good.” I say. “She was…an older lady.”

“Of course.”

“Married.”

“No doubt.”

“Really pretty. Long red hair, nice eyes, and she was, um, well put together for her age.”

“Go on.” She hangs on every word as she take another bite of pizza.

“And nice! Kiki, she was unbelievable. She made me food, can you believe that? She has a grown up son off to college, close to my age. I think motherly stuff just comes natural for her.” I ponder how much I really wanted to say. I already knew Evelyn’s big secret I wouldn’t spill but I didn’t know how much of the rest of it to share. “I don’t think her and her husband are very intimate anymore. And she…she’s just really lonely. Ya know? All alone in that big house.”

“Awwww, my heart breaks!” Kiki says sarcastically. “That poor, poor, rich woman. Ha!”

“Don’t be like that.” I didn’t like her talking about Evelyn like that though I certainly understood where it was coming from. “You don’t understand. Oh Kiki, this woman…” I sigh dreamily and slump back in my chair as I reflect back on my afternoon. “…this incredible woman. She was so nice and so sexy and so….ohhhh, she was…wonderful!”

“Oh boy.” She sets her crust down and wipes her mouth. “I was afraid of this.”

“Huh?”

“Donny, she might have been nice but she was still just a trick.” She says. “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about beforehand. Don’t fall for the clients, it never works out. Keep it professional.”

“No, no.” I shake my head. “This was different Kiki. Totally different. You should have…”

“Been there?” She finishes my sentence. “You think I haven’t been?” Reaching across she rests her hand on mine. “We’ve all been there.” She tilts her head and studies me a moment. “Let me guess…lots of sweet talk, probably opened up with some real personal stuff too, real names given. I bet she made you feel real special, huh? Like you were different from all the others.” My smile starts to fade. “She probably said something about how she wished she could help you not be a call boy anymore. I bet she felt soooo sorry for you and wanted to make all your dreams come true. Oh, and I bet she was soooo upset when the time was up, and that she just can’t wait to see you again, but she sure as shit got you the hell out of there right on time anyway. Nice tip, ‘just for you’, one or two bills. Yeah?” I don’t answer her. I wasn’t smiling anymore. “And I’d bet anything that an ‘I love you’ slipped out in there somewhere.” She leans in, looking up into my eyes. “Am I close?”

Close? She had just hit a fucking near perfect bullseye! Every word spoken as if she’d been there to see it.

“You don’t understand.” I mutter and turn my head so as not to look at her.

“I do.” She squeezes my hand. “I really do little brother.”

“She’s…my friend.”

“Your friend?” She says. “Okay then, give your friend a call. Hell, invite her on over. Let’s watch a movie together.”

“I…don’t know her number.”

“I know.” Kiki says softly. “Because she’s not your friend Donny. She’s just a trick.” Getting up she comes around to hug my head to her chest. “I’ve been there kid, trust me. I wish Diane had waited. I wanted to tell you this stuff.” She kisses my head. “Those people, those people with money, they aren’t like us Donny. Everything in their world is bought and sold, even love. We’re just toys to them. They don’t even see us as human. Just little wind up boys and girls they hire by the hour that they can project all their fantasies on. They’ll say the nicest things…or the nastiest…because they know we are paid to listen and respond. We make them cum or laugh or cry or whatever the fuck they’re after, then they’re done with us until the mood strikes them again.” Pulling back she takes me by the cheeks and makes me face her. She gives me sweet grin. “Hey. Don’t get down about it. You might already have your first regular. That is huge! Regulars mean less risks and bigger tips. This is a good thing Donny.” She ruffles my hair. “Don’t be so glum. We have pizza, this is a good day!”

“Yeah, yeah.” I nod as I wrap my head around the reality check I’d just been given. “A good day.”

“I’m really happy it went well.” She says as she lets me go. “They won’t all be like that. You gotta enjoy these ones, just don’t let them get in there.” She points at my heart. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you kid.”

I sigh and nod again. “I love you too Kiki.”

“Hey, uh, do you have any of that money left?” She scratches the back of her neck. “I’m heading out soon and I’m a little light…”

“I got a bit.” I’d rather just give her the money than hear the excuses as to why she needed it. Pulling a fifty from my pocket I hand it to her.

She takes it, gratefully, but pauses. “Is that it?”

“Yeah. I bumped into Mr. Khan on the way in…”

“That asshole! I told him I’d have the rent next week.” She folds up the bill and tucks it into the waistband of her shorts and grumbles again. “Asshole.”

“Well, we owe three hundred less now.”

She lets out a breath. “Yeah…that’s good, I guess.”

“I’m gonna start pulling my weight around here.” I tell her. “You’ll see. If…if that woman wants me again or…or if I can get a few more t-tricks…maybe you won’t have to work so much.”

“Ha! That’d be nice.”

“I’m going to need clothes.” I say. “These weren’t cutting it out there in burbs.”

“Yes! Let’s go to the consignment store this weekend.” She says excitedly. “I can get you looking like a real fine piece of ass.”

“Kiki!”

With a giggle and wink she spins on her heel and heads for her room. “I knew you could do it Donny. You’re the fucking best! Don’t you ever forget that little brother.”

“You too.” I say.

As Kiki got ready for her night of work I sit alone nibbling at the greasy pizza but thinking about that fresh BLT prepared just for me. Staring into the living room I take in the cramped space with frayed mismatched furniture and cannot help but reflect back on luxuriousness of the house I was in just a couple of short hours ago. The further I got from it the more that whole afternoon really did feel like a dream. Nothing about it felt real. And yet…I could still taste that sandwich and Mom’s delicious homemade apple pie if I thought about it hard enough.