Oh Yeah boys we flash-backing!

Help your mom out. Get out of the house.

Make some money. Clear your mind.

Stare at models.

You recalled all of the points your moms raised for helping Lilly with her latest gig.

The last one was Brie’s by the way.

But as you stared at a rack of blue blouses trying to find the singular cerulean one feeling like Andy Sachs; you realized how much this work was so not worth the five hundred dollar paycheck.

Living wage for employees!

You’re not an employee. Just her son.

Worker’s rights!

Alright Bernie.

“Third one from your left. Sweetheart.”

You heard Lilly causally remark while still snapping photos.

Blouse in hand you returned to the set.

“Just give it to Erika.”

---

Looking over the poor woman already acting as a makeshift light-stand. You sheepishly placed the metal hanger hook over her wrist and mouthed an awkward “sorry”. She replied with a silent “don’t worry about it” shake of the head.

“Erika move the light to the left love. I can still see the bags under her eyes.”

I thought bags went on hands not eyes.

I like it better when you don’t talk.

Me too. Me too dude.

Quest complete. You were about to head back to your corner when you felt something nudge your foot.

It was Erika.

A pleading look in her eye. She softly mouthed to you.

“Nose itchy!”

Reaching out with an index finger you scratched from the petite bridge of her nose down to pointed tip till she contently sighed a hushed “thank you”.

Ever see that Nina Dobrev gif.

Yeah, you know the one.

Her face resembled that.

Nodding you returned to your corner as Lilly ordered Erika to shift the light yet again.

---

You admired Erika’s dedication. A recent hire. On the handful of jobs you worked with her, she was always first in and last to leave.

A college-graduate with a BA in digital photography and a portfolio spanning at least a decade. She had hustled her butt off for the opportunity to work under your mom.

And who was her co-worker?

The photographer’s son who got suckered into the job to get him to stop thinking about his recent break-up.

“Life’s a fucking joke”. You thought to yourself sipping Lilly’s cold Starbucks.

---

The irony is strong with that one.

---

Sulking, you kept your eyes trained on Lilly who was traversing the studio searching for the next perfect shot. Each new position elicited a fresh demand of the crew.

“Move a light here”

“Warmer temperature on the fill”

“Raise your chin”

“Give me a sadder pout”.

You loved your mom but she turned into a real monster behind the camera.

Memories of prom flooded your head and the two fuckin’ hours Lilly spent snapping shots of you and Savvy.

Flash-back in a flash-back. Flash-back-ception love it.

God the two of you barely had energy left for the actual dance after Lilly’s “photoshoot”.

---

The two of you…

Slowly

The spindly black thorns of regret crept back into your heart.

Working their way through every chamber.

Piercing every wall.

You remembered the tears.

Powerless.

How do you protect someone you love from yourself?

You could hear her crying.

Regrets.

So many regrets.

You fuck-up.

You coward.

---

“Joseph!?”

The feeling of flesh-on-flesh knocked you from your daze.

Looking down you saw Erika’s hand shaking your wrist.

“Hm?”

“Lilly said we can start breaking things down. We’re done for the day.”

“Cool.”

“Are you alright?”

No.

Definitely not.

“Yeah, just lost myself for a moment.”

Erika giggled.

“I get it long day. Just be glad you didn’t have to sub in for a C-stand.”

You chuckled.

Pruning back as much as you could.

You focused on helping Erika break everything down.

The two of you idly chit-chatted while working.

The driving **** of the conversation though was Erika.

Who excitedly explained everything she picked up from your mom that day.

Although you spent most of your childhood listening to Lilly wax on about ISO, lighting and shooting angles.

It was refreshing to hear Erika’s take on the topics.

It also helped pull you from the funk.

---

Flying through the pick-up, Erika finished zipping up the last soft box while you went about pulling up the gaff tape.

Yanking up an arm-length strip off the back-drop. Erika’s brown Doc Martens and fitted red capris invaded your vision.

“You good?”

Seriously we need a new line. Like c’mon.

Then write better material.

Fuck you!

“Yeah”

---

Erika dropped to the floor, tucking legs under her butt as she landed on the polished concrete.

“Thinking about your break-up?”

Sniped by her words. You failed to answer.

“Lilly told me.”

Recovering. You retorted.

“Good to know she tells everyone my issues.”

Erika softly tilted her head sympathetically then tried to assuage you.

“She’s just worried about you. She talks about you a lot actually. Don’t worry! It’s usually only good things.”

Awkward silence.

“She was stupid to break-up with you.”

“You seem like quite a good guy imo.”

Erika added combing her fingers through her wavy brown hair.

You recoiled at Erika’s words.

You had nearly forgotten the lie about “who broke up with who” you told Lilly and Brie.

It was stupid then.

And it was stupid now.

Can confirm still stupid.

But it seemed like an easier way to justify your sadness over the break-up.

Also it let you avoid explaining the break-up.

---

“Uh, thanks?”

“You know I’ve got quite a bit of experience in the break-up department. I could help with some of that pain in your heart.

If you want of course.”

Do Mormon women want dildos? Of course you wanted something to sooth this sucker-punch!

“How?”