BONUS: The hookup

Andrew and Steve were busy, quite busy heroically holding up the wall of the local gas-station. Both freshmen in the local community college, Andrew was a pale, taller man, and had tight, curly dirty-blonde hair, shiny blonde in the sun but musty brown otherwise, while Steve was stocky and not particularly short or tall, with wavy hair also captured in the zoomer perm a few months ago. Both were skinny, plain and certainly dressed blandly, with just jeans and T-shirts, as by all means they were among the NPCs of the world, and looked embarrassingly un-manly, the two of them, like beards were a stretch goal of theirs that 10 more years will take, and neither had more muscle definition than the total lack of physical activity they've lived. The only reason they were there was because they were skipping their mutual class. And all so they can hang out nowhere important and fuck around on their phones -- They didn't even have cars, yet, so they were limited to this gas station, on the edge of town, cause they both lived within walking distance. It's how they met.

"...Ayo? Look...", Steve said. His voice was deep, and calm, by default... but maybe a bit boring, for that matter.
Andrew looked up. "...What the FUCK?", he said in a voice you would absolutely hear in a Call of Duty server.

Up ahead, across the street was a housing street with a cul-de-sac at the end. And coming down the sidewalk of it, was an almost-naked lady.
She was staggering, and holding a clear bottle of vodka. Wobbling and smiling, her mouth moved as if she were talking to herself, but was yet too away to hear. Her hair was brown, or maybe just too dirty, as she had kind of streaks and patches of dirt all over.

"...Bro, she's drunk.. she's drunk AF, bro!", Andrew said, and looked around, to see if anyone else sees this. Not at the moment, as this was kind of the boonies, but a car would be along before too long.

She was wear a bra, and panties, but they were brown and really plain looking. In fact, they were kinda different styles, like she picked them completely randomly.

"I've never seen anybody that drunk. ..You think she's on ****?", asked Steve.
"May BE, bro!"

As she walked into the road like it was no big deal, they could see she was frequently hiccuping, like in the movies, and giggling at herself, and her eyes kept crossing, until she would blink and they would reset, before doing it again. She was even barefoot.. and she was honing right in on them.

At some point her crossed eyes focused in on them, and she smiled cheerily, happy to see them! They were already tensing up. Despite the situation being kind of hilarious, they were far from worldly enough to not immediately get nervous with unpredictable situations. And this was about as bananas as they come.

She... 'arrived' at them, sooner or later, and stood in front of them, in an awkward, pidgeon-toed stance, as though she had to pee and was holding it in. She took a swig of her bottle -- apparently she hadn't had enough?? And spoke up.
"Nnnnaii? HAAAaaayyyyy..! *HIC!* I, VEgla.. glaa SEE YOU GUYSH!", she says. And even pauses for an answer.

"Uhh... yeah...", Steven managed to intone.

"You, uh... having a good time?", Andrew added.

She IMMEDIATELY started laughing, a bit too loudly, and it was actually kind of a cute, defenseless laugh. But she immediately overwrote it with a wino's accent.

"NNYEeaAAaaAAA*hic!*...AA...a... .. ... *hic.*"

The two looked at each other.

"...She's actually pretty hot."
"What? She looks like my MOM, bro."
"...Your mom's pretty hot..."

They looked back at her. Sure enough, this was gallons more tit-flesh than they could be used to. And her ass stuck out like crazy -- they could see it from her front, even. She was certainly well-fed, kind of with a belly, so the boobs and butt made sense but her belly was still at a cute level.

"...Dude."
"--No way! That's sketch AF! She could literally be from anywhere and have anything!"
"So could any OTHER girl!"
"No..! ...Well... I guess..."
"...--We gotta hurry."
"No! C'mon man, I said no though!", Steve said, as Andrew took her hand and began to lead her away. Back towards his house. However, despite his protests he still followed.

As they went along, she took the company as a green light that she's with good friends and having SO much fun! And the boys kept watching her walk along, basically naked, with so much more jiggle and bounce, and it was utterly captivating. They struggled to keep a look out, as this was.. ... REALLY hard to explain.

Enough that when they got down to Andrew's house, he was hesitant to take her in, in case his mom hears. So he improvises, and drags her to the back yard. And opens the shed. And pulls her in... and closes it. But not before Steve determined to enter as well.

Inside it was dark. It was a more recently made wooden shed, enough to still smell of lumber, but was only lit by tiny little windows. Inside, she stumbled, over and over, not able to see very well.

Swallowing and clenching and unclenching his fists, Andrew raises his arm and grabs one of her boobs. --It's actually too big, and he has to let go and redouble, grabbing deeper.

"COME ON, MAN!", Steve said, as though this was still time to complain and decide. He was realistically just feeling guilty, he knows damn sure why, and was venting it.

Andrew... was not listening. She didn't react negatively... or at all, really! She mumbled something, but it sounded more to herself than to him. It was heavier than he thought.. --he had touched a boob before, not to brag. But it was... of a size where weight was a philosophical issue, basically.

Next, he crouched down and took her panties off. A thin trail traced a way to them as they went.

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit, dude she's wet!", he said, as though he were now an expert at the sex. "That means she wants it, bro!", he said.

"C'mon man.. I really--"
"Look, dude, are you in or out?"
"...."

Ten minutes later, she lay splayed, back down, across a rolled up, above ground pool. It was a giant, blue, nylon cylinder of a thing. It wasn't much, sufficed to say. But it wasn't uncomfortable. And she was getting fucked and had a mouth full of cock at the same time. Steve had his dick in her mouth. It slightly below average size, but not significantly. And it was still suffocating her. His face looked pained, as though he HAD to do this, but truth be told regrets had left him, by now. Her head hung back, lax, allowing him to fit his total length in her, and her tongue teased him, so randomly -- was she doing it on purpose?? Could she be? As his balls, surprisingly big and heavy, slapped softly against her nose. Meanwhile, Andrew was shoving a longer, bulbous member in and out of her absolutely sloppy pussy, with an arm under each of her thighs, craning them up to his chest level, in the crooks of his elbows, to get her legs properly parted and out of the way, and at least looked like a manly porn star in that moment. She had been aroused, at least slightly, for a good while now, and at first her labia was engorged with just arousal, subtly blooming it's petals, but now swelling inflamed from use and ****. It made vulgar noises, like stirring a cooking stew. Her body lurched back and forth, her tits hanging to the sides, but also sliding up and down, making subtle circles, while her arms lay limp, only occasionally slowly moving and touching one of the boys, without obvious meaning or intent. The two of them had already orgasmed, and quickly in fact. Otherwise they would be doing it again, right now, immediately. She, meanwhile, would randomly orgasm. Randomly quivering, or making painful-sounding whining noises, the boys instead thought that she was having a seizure, or was sobering up or something... not that they stopped, over it.

All three of them were coated with a layer of sweat, owed to standing in a poorly ventilated shed. It made each of them glisten, to various effects and results. The small windows were almost done fogging up entirely. Each of them frequently reached out to grope her, as this was a golden chance. Not only her tits, or scooping up her shameless ass, but even her belly, even her arms, her hair, her armpits... this wasn't just a chance. It was a chance with basically a toy of a person. They switched places, but first flipped her over. Steve had been looking at her butt for a good while, now. Gripping her hips firmly... he grabbed again, for more purchase, ironically similar to how Andrew's tit-grab was before. A body this soft, was something to get used to. Pushing himself into her, he shivvered and came immediately. But was too eager to lose his excitement. He merely paused, panting pitifully.... before he started slooowly bouncing his hips against her ass. And the way her entire body rippled, so beautifully... and it seemed to only get better, the harder, the faster he did it, so his hesitation melted away like butter. Meanwhile, Andrew had to lift her head, more, to stick his cock in... and at first, she gagged once or twice. He was endowed enough to reach her tonsils, at least, and at this angle it was absolutely antagonizing her, even in her state. But he was gonna make it work. Eventually he found a rhythm pushing his cock down into her tongue's lax plushness, and it would coincidentally not trigger her, though she was barely breathing.

Ten minutes later, she was in Steve's lap while he tried to fuck her from below, but she was... way heavier than he assumed. As he hugged her close, her tits pressing into him, she hugged him back, actually, and it was quickly becoming a core memory. Meanwhile, Andrew walked back in, with drinks for the two of them. Steve lurched her off of him, while he rehydrated, and andrew lay across her, in a sort of missionary affair, on the floor. She had begun moaning, more often, more loudly and more passionately, in the last twenty minutes, but the boys didn't know if that was better or worse. Chances are, nobody did. Even they figured out that the twitching were her orgasms, which boosted their one-sided self-esteem, but it had them questioning what is a good sign and a bad in a woman. Doubly so if she's blackout drunk. Rehydrated, and running out of steam, they both carried her and tried to put it in her butt and pussy at the same time, while holding her up, but that was harder than it seemed, and it woudn't go in.

Eventually, they were both sore in the gootch. their prostates, swollen and exercised like never before, hurt more than felt good. Though they still wanted to keep going. Especially Andrew. But Steve convinced him to sneak her back to where they found her. After fetching a robe from Andrew's house, they walked her down the road. She seemed... a bit tired, now. A bit more meek, too. Not really smiling, anymore. ...Steve felt bad... however, Andrew in comparison pulled the robe back off her when they were there, and ran back home. He didn't want his mom to wonder where her robe went to.

And so she staggered, back towards her house, dripping the cum of dozens of horny college student ejaculations. Each step she took swiped and smeared more across her thighs, as it dribbled shamelessly, but her pussy, never really shaven, stayed frosted, like cake icing. Getting... exhausted... she started to take breaks. And stumble to the floor, and stand back up. By the time she was on her lawn, she was tired of standing back up, and crawling. And once she made it across her threshold, collapsed, as if that was all that was needed. She then spent the next few hours, sloooowly oozing cum from an inflamed vagina. Mixed with a complete and sudden loss of her bladder, when it couldn't wait any longer. And all of it managed to dry out before she finally woke up, with a red, sunburnt ass and legs. It would be a reminder for weeks to come.

It was a sort of miracle that nobody saw her -- chances are, she would have fared better if someone did, saying nothing for the social and community embarrassment -- however in truth, her mailman did. Making his way down the road, he almost missed her, as he walked down the sidewalk, but the black void of a wide open door was eye-catching. Plus a fat, grumpy cat ran across his way, pulling his attention over there.

...At first, he thought it was a corpse... he walked... and stopped. To see if it moved. And then walked closer, and looked around... and approached, fully. She was alive -- her back was slowly raising and falling. In which case, did she have a seizure? But then she was naked, totally naked.. --Oh. She was probably drunk, huh. The house (Or her, or both) kind of smelled of ****. In which case, he didn't want to get involved, else it could get messy...
He stared down, at her fat, fat ass, red in the sun. And was very much an ass man.
...Orrrrrr...