Awkward panic is not good...

Later, when she gets a chance to think back over everything, she realizes exactly how stupid she really sounded. At the time, though, she's been so nervous about this question, so worried that she'll mess up the answer, that, despite asking Sir what to do, despite thinking through it over and over, despite years of dreaming of this moment, she totally fucks it up. "I have a relationship, sort of," she starts, and then the words just start rushing out. "I mean, it's more like a series of playdates. Well, not playdates, I mean I love them both, or maybe not love but I'm really fond of them and the sex is amazing and they make me feel safe and all but I'm also not exclusive so...Shit."

There's a two-second pause where all the horrors of Sarah's possible reaction hit home. Bailey wants to back up, to take it all back, to erase the last thirty seconds. She can feel tears of frustration in her eyes, her face scalding hot.

Sarah freezes, surprised, then suddenly breaks down in convulsive laughter. "Oh, my God, Bailey," she sighs, wiping her eyes as she shakes her head, amused. "You always were smooth under pressure."

Bailey sees Sarah is smiling, pleased. The terror begins to recede a little. "I guess that wasn't the worst possible answer I could have given." She shrugs. "Damn close, though."

"Yep," Sarah says. "So, what I heard was that you've got more than one person in your life right now, but you're not tied down."

The words tied down, thinking of Nick and the Catherine's Cross, of their nights at the suite, the image is just too much, and Bailey begins laughing, too. "Wellll, I'm not tied down all the time, just on occasion," she giggles.

"Bailey!" Sarah exhales. "That's an image I won't be able to get out of my mind." She thinks for a moment. "I don't want to mess up your other relationships. Do they know you're here with me?"

"Actually, I got ordered to come." Sarah lifts an eyebrow and Bailey rushes to explain. "I was terrified to come see you, worried you wouldn't like me the way I like you. So Nick, he's kind of like my boyfriend, he told me that I had to come see you so I would know whether you felt about me the way I feel about you."

"Mmmm." Sarah smiles. "And how exactly do you feel about me, hun?"

Bailey looks at her, then down to the table where they're holding hands. "I think I've been in love you since the first year of school."

Sarah leans back, grinning broadly. "Excellent." She's smiling, but still has an inquisitive look. "Boyfriend?"

"Well," Bailey starts, then stops again, considering her words.

"You can tell me anything, Bailey."

"Master." She can't meet Sarah's eyes now, so she looks back down again, shuffling her feet under the table.

"Master?" The tone of Sarah's voice makes it clear she doesn't get it.

"I have a Master, Nick, and a girlfriend, Tommy, who's actually a crossdresser." She stops there, still looking down. Sarah is quiet, and Bailey wants to look, but the fear is back again in full. "I- like being told what to do."

"I remember when we were younger, you always did sort of go along with whatever I wanted."

Bailey nods. "I understand if you're freaked out. It's a lot to take in."

"I don't know that freaked out is the right phrase," Sarah answers, leaning her head on her hand and studying Bailey. "So, it's two guys, then?"

"No," Bailey corrects her. "Nick is a man's man, but Tommy is a girl as far as we're concerned. She's got...male equipment, sure. But she's more feminine than I am, very sweet and fun and loving."

Sarah can see Bailey's face and hear the tone in her voice when she talks about them. "You do love them."

"Yeah." Bailey takes a deep breath. "In a way, they kinda saved me from a really bad place."

"What happened?" Sarah sounds concerned.

Bailey shakes her head. "THAT is definitely not a first date question."

Sarah laughs again. "You just told me you're in a relationship with a Master and a crossdresser who like to tie you up sometimes. How much more personal can you get?"

"You have no idea."

Sarah sips at her wine, then squeezes Bailey's hand. "I'm surprised, not shocked. You were very vanilla in school."

This time, Bailey laughs. "We fucked guys together in your van. And you admitted you watched me."

"Touche," Sarah smiles. "Okay, so we're both a little weird." She goes quiet again, the two of them lost in their thoughts. After a moment, Sarah frowns. "So, if your Master ordered you to come here, what's he after?"

"Nick?" Bailey asks. "He wants me to be happy. I told them all about you, and they both think I should explore being with you."

"What, two people isn't enough for him?"

Bailey giggles. "Oh, I bet he and Tommy could handle six or seven people at the same time. Tommy's like the energizer bunny once you get her started. She told me I should haul you off to the nearest closet so you could fuck me silly." She smiles. "But, no, Nick doesn't want any other lovers. They always say that people love who they love, and that they don't believe in ownership. If I told them I was leaving them to be with you, they'd miss me. But they'd be happy I was happy with you."

Sarah looks skeptical. "Doesn't sound like any men I've ever met."

"Nick isn't like any other man." Bailey clasps onto Sarah's hand like she's afraid Sarah will get up and leave. "Really, Sarah, they're really good people. They know I've been in love with you for years."

Sarah still looks like she's not buying it. "Bailey, I would love to explore whatever relationship we want to have, but I'm a lesbian. I have no interest in some sort of foursome with some sadist."

Bailey feels anger suddenly. "Sarah, I've been honest with you, really honest, maybe too honest. But you have to understand that these are not some frat-boy assholes looking for a quickie in your van. Tommy and Nick are important to me. Important enough that I need you to reserve judgement about them and who they are. Please."

Sarah leans back, and her hand pulls away from Bailey's. It may have been just a side-effect of moving, but it feels like a rejection. "So what happens next?"

Bailey feels tears coming, chokes them back. "I want to be with you."

"I don't know that I can share you," Sarah murmurs. She takes a deep breath.

Bailey knows this is where she's supposed to offer to dump Nick and Tommy, and she thought she was ready to do that, but the words won't come. She sits quietly, waiting for Sarah to say something, anything at all. But nothing is coming, and the awkward silence builds. Years later, Bailey will remember this moment as the lowest point in her life, knowing that Sarah is going to leave and she'll lose her, and never know what could have been.

But that isn't what happens at all. Instead, Sarah leans forward again, places her hand on Bailey's face, and pulls her close, kissing her deeply, passionately, eight years of pent-up desire firing through them both. "I don't know what else is going on, or what's going to happen with us, or you with your other lovers. But I do know that I want to be with you, and if I don't jump off this cliff, I'll never know what's at the bottom. So I'm going to assume this Tommy person is an expert in unconventional relationships. Let's go find the nearest closet, baby."