Asking Questions

I automatically went to Kaylee’s room. Pushing open the half-closed door, the familiar scent of sex hit me. I **** myself to push forward. Stepping inside the room, I found a pile of her clothing strewn across the floor. Most of it was roughly in the same general area, so I figured she stripped herself. There was a towel thrown to the side. Not hard to figure out what that was used for. The covers of the bed were wrinkled and bunched up in places.

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, I took a deep breath. Kaylee had sex here and it wasn’t with me. There. I admitted it. I waited for the inevitable flood of emotions and was disappointed when I felt… normal. Well, not normal but nothing that was threatening to tear me apart.

I looked towards the door, listening to the shower down the hall. Hands in my lap, I felt my thumbs rub against each other as I tried to figure out what the hell we were going to talk about. I felt this was a big moment for us, yet my mind was blank. I clawed at my brain, **** for anything. In the end, I had nothing. I suppose I would just have to make do with whatever felt natural.

My thinking time ended when I heard the bathroom door open. Kaylee rushed inside the door, not noticing me until she was fully inside. She froze in place, eyes wide as she clutched the towel around her.

“S-Scott, you’re—” Her eyes darted over to the clock and she winced. “On time.”

I didn’t move, enjoying the excitement of the moment. The hastily wrapped towel around her body, the way she desperately clutched it closed, her wet blond hair against her face… She was stunning. I could have done without the frightened look on her face, but the surprise was another aspect of the excitement.

“Met Derrek,” I said. I was shocked at how calm my voice was. Her eyes closed briefly as a look of anger crossed her face. “Don’t blame him. I was a bit early.” The hell. Did I really just defend him?

“E-early?” Her voice was higher than normal. “Just…um…how early?”

I was about to answer when I caught myself. It was clear that Kaylee was off-balance right now. This was a golden opportunity to turn the tables on her teasing and I would be a fool to let this slip past.

Hesitating, I pretended to think about it. “Somewhere around, ‘Cumming!’ I think there were some fucks?” I mimed like I remembered something. “Oh right! Now I remember. It was, ‘Derrek. Derrek! I’m cumming, Derrek!’” I mimicked her voice as best I could. The entire time I watched as her face grew increasingly darker shades of red.

“That was—”

“It’s fine. I told you to enjoy it.” I patted the bed beside me. She didn’t move, giving me a suspicious look. “What?”

“You’re… unusually calm right now.”

“Am I?”

“It’s scaring me.”

“Huh?”

I could see her face tighten as she clenched her jaw. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

“What? No!” I took a deep breath and calmed myself. “Why don’t you sit here and we can talk?”

She approached me like I was a snake coiled for a strike. Slowly, she sat on the bed beside me, her knuckles white as she clutched the towel. I saw the muscles of her neck tighten as she prepared herself.

Then… nothing. Even though she was right there, I had nothing to say. The more I thought about what to say, the more elusive the words became.

So I stopped thinking.

“The moment I saw him, I immediately thought, ‘Yep. That is so Kaylee.’”

“Huh?”

“Derrek. He was right in your strike zone.”

“I…” A flash of panic as she studied me. “I don’t know what to say to that,” she whispered.

“I want you to be honest and not hold anything back. Okay?” I asked, reaching out to grab her hands. I gave them a squeeze as she nodded. Leaning over, I kissed her exposed shoulder. She smelled of the lavender soap she used. “You enjoy yourself?”

Another light kiss of her lovely shoulder.

“Scott, I—”

“Did you enjoy yourself?” I repeated softly. I gently shifted closer.

“Yes.”

I rewarded her with another light kiss on the shoulder. Reaching over, I traced my fingers along her other one before running them along her upper back. “Do you want to invite him over again?” I asked before shifting to kiss another spot on her shoulder. I got in two more kisses before she answered.

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Soon?” I asked, breathing against her skin as I kissed her shoulder again.

“I—” I could tell her breathing was starting to pick up. “I don’t know.”

“I doubt that.”

“Scott…”

“When do you want to see him again?” Another kiss.

“I don’t know.”

“I need an answer, Kaylee.”

“...Soon would be nice.”

I paused to look up at her. “And why do you want to invite him again?”

Her expression was a mix of different emotions. There was confusion in her eyes. Fear at what was happening. Excitement. But like me, she didn’t say the word that would stop this. Instead, she held my gaze and answered my question.

“To fuck me.”

“Why?”

“Because I want him to.”

I was back to her shoulder, working my way to her arm. “You like it that much?”

“Yes.”

My hand replaced the hand that was holding her towel together. “Tell me,” I whispered before kissing her arm. “Tell me what you liked.”

I watched her chest rise and fall as she struggled to keep a steady breath. “His body.”

“Yeah?”

“It was so firm,” she said. “Everywhere I looked. Everywhere I touched. It was nothing but those sexy, hard muscles. There were times where he just… locked me in place. He was stronger than I thought. Powerful. There were times when I wasn’t in control. I wanted to be. I tried to take control, but he didn’t let me. I didn’t give him what he wanted. He took it.”

I faltered briefly. Closing my eyes, I pressed my nose against her skin and took a deep breath. The familiar scent grounded me as I continued.

“What else?”

“His face.”

“Of course.”

“The body is important, but it was his face I spent the most time looking at. The expressions he made my legs weak. The effort he was putting into it. The pleasure he was getting from me. The lust he felt for me and the satisfaction when he finally sated it.”

Slowly, I let her towel fall to the bed.

“And?” I asked, running my fingers along her spine.

“His cock.”

I pulled away and I caught a brief look of panic from Kaylee. That was quickly replaced by surprise as I gently twisted our position and got her lying back on the bed. For a long moment, we stared at each other, not moving. I think we were both scared of this unknown we were entering, but neither of us was willing stop it. Her beautiful eyes watched me before I felt that silent question behind them.

Do you want to continue?

Lowering my head, I kissed her neck. “What did you like about it?”

“So big.”

“How big?”

“I don’t know.”

I chuckled. “Liar.”

“...At least seven,” she gasped as my lips worked their way lower and lower. “Seven and a half.”

“That is big.”

“Almost too big considering how thick it was. He had to go slow at first. Even though I was so ready for him.”

“Why was that?” When her answer didn’t come right away, I paused to look up at her. There was a faint blush to her cheeks.

“He ate me out first.”

Of everything that had happened so far, it was that simple statement that turned into a major obstacle. It hit so suddenly that I hadn’t been prepared for it. That was my thing. The one thing that I was consistently good at when it came to pleasuring Kaylee. Hearing about how great he was in bed. How big his cock was or how amazingly deep he got didn’t affect me at all it seemed because I understood that wasn’t my realm. But this… It was my one thing I felt confident in and to hear he had so easily crossed over—it wasn’t fair. He could rock her world with other means. Why couldn’t I just have this one?

“Was it good?” The teasing and seductive tone of my voice was missing. It came out flat and matter of fact—something that was not lost on Kaylee. She didn’t shy away from my eyes, meeting them full ****.

“Yes.” A smile. An incredibly thin one that hinted at some smug satisfaction. “But I’ve had better.”

It could have been any number of people, but I knew immediately there was only one on her mind. She didn’t need to say it aloud because I felt it in the way she looked at me.

And just like that, the obstacle was swept away. Gone as if it never existed.

“What happened then?” I asked as my kisses reached the top part of her breast.

“He had me on the bed—just like this,” she moaned.

“Did you spread your legs for him, or did he open them?”

“I spread them. I wanted him so badly, Scott. I wanted that big cock in me.”

“Did you get what you wanted?”

“That and more. Once I was used to his size, he didn’t hold back.” I gently sucked at her nipple as my other hand traced random shapes over the soft skin, making her answers have a breathless aspect to them.

“You made him wear a condom, right?” She whimpered as my fingers playfully pinched her nipple.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want him to.”

“Why?”

“Because I…” I glanced up. Not moving, I waited for her to answer as her face heated. “I wanted his cum.”

“Where?” Before she could answer, I kissed her breast. “Here?”

“No.”

I slid up. “Here?” I asked as I kissed near her neck.

“No,” she whispered. Up I went, hovering above her as our eyes met.

“Here?” I whispered, leaning for a kiss. It was a light kiss, but it lingered until I felt the increasing urge to breathe.

“No.”

My eyes never left hers as my hand trailed down her body. “Here?” I asked as my hand ran along her stomach. Her lips quivered. There was no answer this time, only a slight shake of her head.

“Here?” A sharp intake as my finger ran along her wet slit. Biting her lower lip seductively, she nodded. “Liar.” Her eyes widened as I slipped my finger inside her. “It was here, wasn’t it?”

“Scott,” she moaned, her body quivering under me.

“Answer me, Kaylee. You wanted his cum here, didn’t you?”

I tested a second finger, which caused her to shift beneath me. This was… something. In my elevated position, I don’t think I’d ever seen Kaylee like this. She was squirming underneath me as my fingers explored their new surroundings as she desperately tried to keep her composure. The imagery I was seeing wasn’t new, but the context was. She had played coy like this, knowing I found it sexy just like now. But right now, she wasn’t playing. That added dash of genuine embarrassment elevated this all to a new level.

Moaning my name again, I felt her hand brush against my erection as she went for the zipper. I jerked away. “Stop.” She froze, a flash of fear in her eyes as the coldness in my voice. “Don’t.”

“But—”

“I’m serious, Kaylee. Don’t touch me. Not like that.” She looked hurt and I took a deep breath releasing it slowly. “This can’t be about me at all, okay? None of it. Only you. Do you understand?” She nodded quickly. Forcing myself to relax, I leaned in for a brief kiss. The feel of her lips against mine, the way she responded to it helped me recenter my thoughts.

“You never answered me. Did you want his cum inside you?”

Her lips trembled as she took a deep, quivering breath. My fingers gently moved around inside her as I waited for her answer. “I did.”

“You like men pumping you full of cum.” A statement, not a question. A soft moan left her lips and I felt her body shaking under me. I paused my actions, not wanting her to cum. Not yet.

Even though it hadn’t been a question, she answered with a groan, hips trying to move against my hand. “I do.”

As the next words formed within me, I caught myself and pumped the brakes. I had been about to ask her wanting Derrek’s cum because she couldn’t get mine. That entire thought train was fraught with red flags and land mines—so I avoided it entirely. I didn’t want to know and I certainly didn’t want to **** her to answer that. I accepted that the question was a part of me, but I rejected the need for it to play a part in this.

Instead, I nuzzled her neck. Deep breaths filled my lungs with her wonderful smell as my lips lightly kissed her over and over. “Tell me what you did after you finished,” I said gently. I removed my fingers from inside her. I knew I was frustrating her on some level. She had gotten fairly close to an orgasm when I decided to slow things down.

“We laid here, panting and gasping as we tried to catch our breath.” There was something about her voice that caused me to pause. Lifting my head, I looked down at her. For the briefest of moments, her blue eyes met mine before shifting away.

Suspicious.

“What did he do?” Silence. “Kaylee, what did he do?”

Guilt spread through her face as she kept her face looking away. “He kissed me.” I barely understood what she said.

Something cold hit me as I stared down at her. “Where?”

She closed her eyes, jaw trembling. “I was still riding high off my orgasm, so I didn’t notice him until he—”

“Where?” I repeated. This time, she did look up at me and I could see the uncomfortable look of fear on her face.

“My s-shoulder.”

“Show me where.” Confusion. “Point where he kissed you.” Still confused, I followed her finger to a point on her shoulder. I immediately kissed the area she indicated. “Where else?” Another area, another kiss. By the third or fourth, we both understood that she was no longer pointing to the literal places where his lips pressed, but that wasn’t important. The important thing was I was overriding each and every one. This might have seemed like a little teasing game we were playing, but I never felt more serious about something. Every place she pointed, I would kiss. Even if he hadn’t kissed her there, I would do it anyway. I couldn’t risk a single spot being missed.

Kaylee’s body was mine. Not in the literal sense of course, but in the metaphorical. The same way you ‘gave’ your heart to another. By entering this relationship with me, Kaylee had granted me full access to her everything. Heart, body, feelings, all of it.

Kaylee had been with another man. My initial reaction was to shy away from the thought. Push it away and avoid it. Today was different. Instead of following my gut reaction, I did the opposite and leaned into it.

Kaylee slept with another man.

Kaylee had sex with another man.

Another man had used this wonderful body that was supposed to be mine.

Yet no crushing despair overwhelmed me. The increased heart rate was from the building excitement my time with Kaylee was creating. My hands were steady, my mind clear and thoughts calm. There was a difference here from any time before. A slight shift of perspective made all the difference. I didn’t feel that Kaylee had sex with Derrek. Not in the ways she slept with men before. No, I let Derrek have sex with Kaylee. Kaylee was only the actress in the play I wrote for her. Her body was mine, given by her, and I let him borrow it. For that brief sliver of time, I let him use this sexy body beneath me for his own pleasure.

I allowed it because I knew that he would never have it. Not truly. I understood that now. I had no more to fear from Derrek, or any other man for that matter, more than a man had to fear his girlfriend's favorite toy. That was the role he played here. Kaylee used him for her own pleasure, just as I was using him to further it here.

This moment was a culmination of searching and being willing to finally see all that I had found. I was still frightened by what I saw. What this would mean for me and her, but I couldn’t avoid this any longer. I needed to show Kaylee who I was. I needed to show myself who I really was. And in the end, I needed to accept whatever came from that discovery.

But the obstacle still prevented me from moving on. I planted kiss after **** kiss. He should have never kissed her. She should have never let him kiss her. I allowed him to use her body, not love it. There was only one man allowed to love this body, and it was me. Me and only me.

I followed her finger automatically. Even as it went to her face. Only when she touched her lower lip did I stop, realizing what she was indicating.

“No kissing,” I whispered.

“Only when he kissed me here did I realize what he was doing.” She glanced away. “I stopped him but—”

I stopped her with a kiss. The light press turned into something much more. I felt her hunger as she greedily pressed back against my lips. So easily did she try to take control from me. The moment I felt her shift against me, I pulled away.

“No.”

“Scott—”

“I told you, Kaylee.”

“I can’t even kiss you?” There was a pain in her voice, her expression torn between hurt and sadness.

“You can’t even kiss me,” I confirmed in my voice detached from emotion. “Not like that. Not when we are like this. I must get nothing from this. Nothing.”

Tears began to form. “I don’t want that.”

I kissed her lightly. She didn’t kiss back. “We can talk later,” I whispered before brushing my lips against hers again. “For now let’s just… see where this leads?” Gazing down at her, I silently asked for permission. Blinking a few times, a single tear escaped as she nodded.

My voice softened. “Tell me what happened next.”