Arrogant answers

Yasmin is, as usual, wearing a very plain but very skimpy black thong bikini.

She was lying with her back on a bench and what looked like a huge rubber band wrapped around the bench and her hips. She would bridge her body, pressing her hips as high up in the air as she could, fighting against the tension of the rubber band.

"Um, Miss de Assis? I'm here for your interview."

At first Yasmin ignores you. She does about 30 more hip thrusts before stopping and unhooking the rubber strap.

"Start asking." She says. Not very friendly.

Q: Explain your history for us with Rochell Devine?

She sighs. "I thought I did that the night I made my debut? Well, here's the longer version.

I got into dancing at the height of the thighmaster craze, so my perfectly sculpted legs and glutes were lusted for by everyone. But after a few years some idiots started that bigger is better thing, and Rochel came in during that with her flabby ass, shaking it like chocolate jello... ew.

She and I ended up dancing on some of the same videos. I hated her because she was disgusting and she hated me because I was better than she was in every way. Well, we were finally working on a heavy metal video of all things. Monster Magnet's "Space Lord". Anyway, she and I got into a catfight on the set. She said she'd prove that bigger was better, so I met her back in the locker room with a double dildo.

Bigger was not better, it was worse. I outfucked her effortlessly, left her **** on the floor. And then they all said I'd assaulted her. Yeah... I was blackballed from the dancing industry, and without me to look at, people started thinking that tubbies like Rochell were attractive. Because they didn't have anyone better to compare her to.

So I switched over to fitness modelling, and made more money doing it than she did as a dancing girl. So I won again."

Finishing her story, Yasmin stares you down like she's daring you to challenge her version of the story... but you're not about to. You move on with the questions.

Q:What made you decide to have a persona revolving around your ass?

"Because my-ass-is-perfect." Yasmin smirks unpleasantly. "My curves don't change shape. All natural muscle, all perfect."

Q: Does it affect you at all that several wrestlers have done or are still into modeling themselves?

"You trying to say that they're on my level? Because they're not."

You drop the subject before she tries to kick your ass.

Q: What does a woman like yourself look for in a man or a woman?

"Oh, lemme think. Men are a complete waste of time, I don't have the slightest bit of interest in them. Women... well, first of all they have to have respect for their bodies. If they like my workout tapes, it's a plus. If they can actually keep up with me, that's a bonus.

My ideal girlfriend I think would be a girl who's almost but not quite as strong as I am, almost but not quite as beautiful as I am, almost but not quite as skilled in the sexual arts as I am, and who's willing to treat me like a goddess.

Maybe my standards are too high, but what I described is relationship material. If you want a one night stand, try thinking that I'm wonderful and not being flabby. I'll keep you around until I'm bored with you or someone hotter comes along."

Q: What is it that upsets you about fat and the superiority of muscular builds?

"I... can't believe you'd ask me that! OK, first of all, don't confuse me with those bodybuilder types. They're not much better than chubbies, they're practically freaks of nature. No girl should ever go further than whats her name, Tara, and even she's in the gray area between acceptable and not. Lean is perfect. Toned is perfect. Buff is not.

But tubbies? You know what upsets me about them? That there are people out there who aren't disgusted by them! What's wrong with people? How can you see some flabby, shapeless, rancid jiggling lump of pointless cellulite with squishy cottage cheese skin and think it's attractive? It makes me want to rip people's faces off, it really does..."

She's not looking at you anymore. Instead she's got a thousand yard stare fixed on the ceiling above her head. You can see the muscles in her thighs quivvering.