Armor, Clothing, and Jewelry

Welcome to Corporate Magus's Cursed and Detrimental Attire department. Here you will find a wide selection of Clothing, Jewelry, and Armor all rife with debilitating debuffs and punishing curses perfect for protecting your hard won abodes and fortunes from thieves, unsavory employees, and other undesirable riffraff.

Achilles' Heels: This alluring pair of sandals emits a powerful aura of mystique and majesty. Once equipped however, the straps will lock tight against the ankles of the unsuspecting. Next, a painful glyph from Corporate Magus's own **** and debilitation line of products will spring to life in the heel of this dastardly footwear. Only by raising one's heels high can the victim find any relief from the debilitating pain. Like the great Achilles, the user will be effectively immune to external damage, save of course for the tender heels they must keep high above the earth. While your thief waddles away on their tiptoes, you can safely dispatch any of their compatriots and return to deal with the nigh immobile ne'er do well at your leisure. This product is also highly recommended as both fashion accessory and obedience tool for any and all of your temporary involuntary volunteer servants. In accordance with Special Mandate 75321, Corporate Magus discourages the obtaining, detaining, use, and/or possession of slaves.

Bitch Mask: What looks like an arcane and powerful wolf mask from a forgotten era, hiding great power and terrible secrets? The new and improved Bitch Mask! What magically envelops the user's scalp, becoming virtually impossible to remove without the clear and repeated use of the item's pre-established safe word? Also the new and improved Bitch Mask! Yes, this wonderful headgear seamlessly envelops the users' head with an impossible to remove helmet. The mask also features top of the line verbal distortion, turning even native languages, weather spoken or heard, into unintelligible gibberish, save for the devices preset list of "obedience" words. Your new pet can learn their name, acceptable tricks, and simple commands, but they won't be back talking, learning valuable information, or corroborating with peers. Built in blinders can limit or completely obscure your new pet's field of view. Corporate Magus's new and improved Bitch Mask also features upgraded extra dimensional feeding tentacles. These soft, yet powerful tentacles will periodically **** their way past your new pet's lips and down their throats, safely and directly injecting only the best multi-species foodstuffs, guaranteed to maintain proper oral hygiene, nutrient requirement, and prevent any and all magical incantations. What does the future of pet obedience look like? It looks like Corporate Magus's new and improved Bitch Mask!

Clearhead Crown: Nothing is more dangerous to a magic user than an opposing mage. Barbarians, knights, rogues, all can be handled with a liberal application of arcane might, but even the best magician must respect the danger posed by a fellow student of the arts. Why not get ahead by clearing your opponent's? Corporate Magus's Clearhead Crown is a near, but legally distinct, replica of the famous Crown of Clarity. However, where the Crown of Clarity merely improves the memory and arcane power of the wearer, the Clearhead Crown provides far more usefulness and versatility. Once placed upon an unwitting dupe's head the Clearhead Crown will strip the user of their ability to cast spells, form arguments, attempt to persuade or deceive, or otherwise match wits with their betters. Watch with glee as your once dangerous foes are reduced to empty headed dunces utterly unable to match your superior intellect. Unlike cheap imitations which completely rob sentience from your foes, the Clearhead Crown allows you to savor the sweet taste of victory as your fully conscious and aware foes stand helpless before you. Corporate Magus recommends all customers add Backfire Prevention services to prevent unintentional self use of all products.

Gambler's Gambeson: Cheaters never prosper, and with Corporate Magus's latest in rogue restraint technology, you can be sure those who try to cheat you reap their just rewards. This highly fashionable leather coat not only provides surprising protection against physical and arcane threats, it also tips the scales in the wearer's favor... most of the time. Winning hands, perfect rolls, nailing even the longest of shots, all come easily to anyone wearing this generous garb. That is of course until the wearer's luck runs out. Once this item's internal luck generation glyphs run out of arcane fuel, Corporate Magus's patented restraint and teleportation glyphs activate and the trap is laid. Loosing a game of chance while wearing Gambler's Gambeson will transfer all of the wearer's mortal possessions to their lucky foe. Additionally, the unlucky user will find themselves inescapably bound in CM's industry standard arcane bindings. Blind, gagged, bound, and secured to a convenient travel tote, uninvited visitors will learn once and for all that cheaters never win.

Headmistress's Helper: 9/10 Arch-Wizards agree, few things are more irritating or time consuming than holding a fledgling mage's hand or supervising a novice mage's first few teetering steps into the arcane weave. Why spend hours upon hours slowly explaining the basics to the uninitiated when you can let a powerful succubus that Corporate Magus certainly did not form an ill-advised infernal contract with despite numerous warnings from our legal department. With Headmistress's helper, the dulcet tones of a seductive daemoness will tutor your underlings and/or corrupt their immortal souls. With a Headmistress's Helper line necklace, amulet, ring, or piercing, casters have all the skill and experience of a 10,000 old fiend at their fingertips. Casting spells has never been easier. For legal reasons, we must note that it would be much easier if the alluring tones and temptations of a succubus weren't constantly distracting the wearer. Teach your apprentices to fear failure with a wide variety of customizable punishments to be deployed at the Headmistress's discretion. Options include arcane orifices, anatomical enlargements/reductions, astoundingly graphic and realistic illusions, a staggering array of bindings, and/or the loss of an immortal soul. Consider our Deluxe versions for access to behavioral modification, pain inducing implements, ghostly apparitions, and more. Warning, for personal magic training, Corporate Magus does not recommend this product. Please look to our Magic for Mortals, Discerning the Arcane, and/or WitchNotes offerings for your personal magical journey needs.

Packmule's Bracers: Servants, squires, goons, interns. Too often the seasoned trespasser/unwelcomed guest has learned to let their hired help open hostile chests or don untested equipment. The brilliant minds here at Corporate Magus understand the mind of determined annoyances. Tempting ne'er do wells with the promise of making their minions carry greater loads will inevitably lead to their downfall. Packmule's Bracers magically bind with their victim's wrists before sending the lock to the past, thanks to our new and improved temporal displacement enchantments. The wearer is then flooded with the strength and temperament of the stoutest of mules. While wearing Packmule's Bracers, victims can easily lift several times their own weight and travel for miles without need for food, drink, or rest. With every passing hour, the bracers will grow, steadily working up the arms and shoulders of the wearer. As more and more material emerges from Corporate Magus's temporal void, the wearer's attitude will grow more and more stubborn. And their arms/hands will grow more and more useless. At full effect, the wearer will find themselves hooded, blinded, bit-gagged, leashed, and their arms in a stylish, breathable, and most importantly, inescapable, arm binder. Better still, any backpacks, travel sacks, carts, or other inanimate objects attached to the wielder (including the leash) will become host to a sticky, leathery black mass. Any thieves foolish enough to attempt to remove or physically examine the goo will find themselves the lucky new owners of a set of Packmule's Bracers. Few things bring joy and delight like watching a party of adventurers argue over whether or not they should leave their hired hands and any associated gear or treasures behind, only for them to entrap themselves in the same predicament as they try to recuperate their losses. That's right, the great minds at Corporate Magus have both your security and entertainment needs satisfied in our latest best selling product: Packmule's Bracers.

Phantom Plate: Heavy armor provides outstanding physical protection and poses an intimidating physique, far beyond simple leather or halfhearted compromises to imitate true glory. If only it weren't so darn heavy. Corporate Magus has yet to solve this quandary to our strict quality standards, but feel free to unleash our failures on your foes. Phantom Plate has all the appearances of a stellar set of heavy armor, full physical protection and excellent arcane defense, without all that weight. Light as a feather, breathable as Eververdan cotton, and a versatile style equally at home in both fields of battle, and the only noble galas worth attending. Unfortunately for the poor saps fooled into this otherwise phenomenal plate, the ethereal enchantments displacing weight and diverting arcane energies also occasionally divert the armor in total to the astral plane. When will this arcane armor ascend to another plane? No clue. During Corporate Magus's extensive testing process, Phantom Plate products dissipated within minutes, hours, days, weeks, and even months after first activation. Triggering events ranged from physical impact, abrasion, polishing, donning the armor, doffing the armor, entering anti-magic fields, leaving anti-magic fields, time passing, going backwards in time, time stopping, entering other planes, existing other planes, having erotic thoughts, having thoughts of chastity, having no thoughts, listening to music, speaking, sleeping, and leaving armor unattended in an extra-dimensional space. The only discernible pattern is a near certain lack of clear pattern. Only one thing is certain with Phantom Plate: when the armor is called to the aether, it brings all physical, non-living objects in a 10 cubit sphere around it into the abyss.

Resonance Resin: Versatility. Value. Vibrations. Only one product has it all: Resonance Resin! Corporate Magus's top of the line synchronizing high viscosity fluid comes in a variety of visually appealing colors: Clear diamond, Auric amber, Deep sapphire, Smoldering ruby, Pearlescent opal, Ebon onyx, and more! Once you've found the perfect ornamentation for unwanted company, shape and set the resin in your favorite Corporate Magus Curse Lock line of products. Once donned by unwary thieves, their fate is in your hands. Our top of the line Resonance Resin vibrates in seven arcane frequencies of your choice. Mix and mach Pleasure, Pain, Numbing, Increased Sensitivity, Heat, Cold, and/or Hyper vibration functions. Revel in precision control from a variety of means, including voice command, somatic gestures, and our deluxe Glyphpad Pro. Freely increase or decrease the intensity from your choice of over 50 settings, determine set duration or schedule up to 1 year in advance with options for indefinite looping. Delight in your foe's attempts to swing axes with numb and violently shaking arms. Rejoice in disrupting delicate incantations with bursts of pleasure or nerve-wracking pain about the temples. Preserve compromising squirms for future leverage with Corporate Magus's Distant Memories remote visual-auditory recording products. Customers who purchase Resonance Resin also buy Chasity Choker, the best in ecstasy encouragement and prevention. When you need the perfect gems for unwanted rabblerousers, you need Resonance Resin!

Training Tentacles: Draining memories, critical thinking, and higher level cognitive skills from your foes is fun and profitable. But why settle for some profit, when you can have even more. With the help of Corporate Magus's new Training Tentacles, you can turn the nearly mindless into loyal, effective temporary involuntary volunteer servants. Simply apply the summoning glyphs on the inside of any of your favorite Corporate Magus brand armors, cowls, or capes. When thieves attempt to remove your property, top of the line astral chains will bind with the very soul of your target, instantly linking them to our friends on the other side. Simply fill out our comprehensive binding contract to detail exactly how your new temporary involuntary volunteer servants should behave, and our outsourced extra-dimensional expert training personnel will do the rest. Relax and focus on your pet projects while ne'er do wells become productive unpaid interns supporting your bottom line. Training Tentacles will slowly wrap their way around your temporary involuntary volunteer servants, guiding their hands like puppets on a string. Ethereal tentacles and whispers from beyond will gently guide your newest employees through whatever tasks you like, and will exhibit exemplary etiquette. All this for the low, low price of your temporary involuntary volunteer servants's minds, personalities, free will, and immortal souls (And three easy payments of six gold bars, plus shipping and handling). Remember, when you need the best in personnel management, you need Training Tentacles from Corporate Magus!

Wandering Eyes: At Corporate Magus, we know few things are more detrimental / legally dangerous than the wrong people seeing the wrong paperwork. Or secret testing chambers. With Wandering Eyes, you can control exactly what your foes see, and what they don't see. Available in no less than 10 beautifully ornate styles, these magical masques will automatically bind with their wearer thanks to Corporate Magus's top of the line cursed locks and disappearing hinges. Once donned, best in class seer stone lenses will connect with their partner stones handily in your possession. Aim the included artificial eyes at whatever your heart desires. Paint drying, recordings of corporate productivity seminars, friends and family members being used as test subjects for Corporate Magus products, their own bodies bound and at the mercy of your mid-level managers/ customer service representatives, the horrors of an infinite spiraling chaos from beyond our realm, the 7 astral planes and first four rings of hell are the limit! For the working mage, feel free to disable peer to peer seer stone connectivity and default to the masque's inherent inky black void. Wandering Eye's top of the line construction is guaranteed to prevent any magical tampering, and will interfere with any and all astral projection, divining, or transmutation magics meant to bypass top of the line security measures.

Warped Wrappings: Perception is everything. With Warped Wrappings, you can control every perception of unwanted guests. Warped Wrappings come in a variety of quality containers. From shabby piles of unassuming rags, to innocuous travel bags, intriguing chests, and even invisible chameleon cloaking* (Additional fees apply). Once an unwary victim activates Corporate Magus's patented proximity tripwire sigils, our adamantium lined fibers will will instantly constrict the skull, or appropriate analogue, of your intruder. Once attached, top of the line illusion spells and mind altering substances will penetrate the victim, giving you complete control over their perception. By default, the wearer will believe they have successfully removed the bandages, and receive false images, sounds, smells, and even sensations appropriate to their interpretation of the immediate area. In reality, Warped Wrappings will remain securely bound to the wearer's head or head like appendages, ready to fool the senses as you desire. Utilizing our patented Spooky Action Scribe's scroll, you can write whatever fantasy you'd like for your foes. Lead them into "your" "evil lair" to remove a "ruthless CEO" and "free the world from corporate tyranny", and revel as the wearer brings your business rivals to ruin. Upgrade to the deluxe package for life maintaining sigils and scripts to keep your unaware minions happy and healthy with strategically placed feeding/breathing tubes and "ethically sourced" food products. Thanks to the warped reality of the wrappings, flavor doesn't matter! Look to the Hyperion model upgrade to turn mere face wrappings, into a full body cocoon for even greater sensory control. Consider the Gold Deluxe Premium package to let victims of Warped Wrappings spread their delusions with extra-dimensional spring-loaded alchemic enchantments. Remember, Corporate Magus doesn't endorse using our products to build an empire, but don't let that stop you!

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