Answer a Sudden Interruption

You are seriously contemplating dropping your pants and rubbing one out to Melody's passionate moaning when you hear a loud knock on the door. Silently cursing the timing, you head away from the closet and over to the door. You mentally try to make your boner vanish by the time you get there.

The loud knock repeats, a little more frantically. "Hold your horses." You grumble, not loud enough to be heard. You throw open the door and get a sudden face full of flowers. A tall, blonde man is standing in the doorway, his eyes closed tightly. "Oh, sweet Melody!" He says, as if reciting something from memory. "My heart is swollen with sorrow that I may have possibly hurt you! I want only to apologize to you for my selfish beha-" The man opens his eyes and his face falls into a grimace. "Oh." He mutters. "It's you."

"Keith." You state simply, barely able to keep the rage from your voice. "Welcome to the House of Pain. You're right on time for your appointment."

"Shut it, fag. I'm looking for Melody." He pushes you aside, or at least tries to. Although he's stronger than you, you hold your ground and don't let him move you around.

"She doesn't want to see you, jackass. I think you've done enough damage for one night." You keep your glare focused on him. Keith gives you an angry look, but you're filled with such resolve right now, you don't flinch.

"Well, I'm here to get her back." He growls.

"So I heard." You cross you arms. "Swollen heart, huh? Would you like an eye to match?"

"I'm not going to fight you, squirt." Keith sniffs dismissively.

"Good. That's going to make this a lot easier." You begin to roll up your sleeves when you hear the bathroom door open. Melody walks out in a white robe, looking slightly flushed. Your eyes widen in realization.

"Hey, Jack...do we have any chocolate ice cream in the freezer? I could really use some..." Her face drops and her mouth hangs agape when she sees her ex in the doorway. Slowly one hand went up to cover her mouth. "Keith." She whispers.

"Melody!" Keith muscles past you a little too easily and holds the flowers out. "I am swollen because I may have possibly hurt you! I mean my heart! In sadness! I only want to...um...I wanted to..." He seems to lose his train of thought and sighs. Okay, forget the speech. I want you back, baby."

"You...you what?" She stutters. "Keith, you broke up with just a few hours ago!"

"Yeah, I was being stupid. My bad."

"You cheated on me! You left me for another bimbo!" She almost screams.

"Look, I said my bad. I screwed up a little, I know. What can I say, I'm a guy!" He shrugs. You feel your ears burn. He can't possibly be serious! "But I'm sorry now, so let's get back together! I promise to treat you better!" He grins his impossibly charming grin. Only a douchebag of Keith proportions could have made that muddled mess of an apology seem charming. You decided to put an end to this before Melody's lonliness causes her to do something she might regret.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't toss your sorry ass out the minute I opened the door." You say, walking up to him. "You're leaving now."

"Blow off, cock-jockey." Keith hissed. "I'm getting my woman back."

"She's not your woman, fuckhead!" You grab his shoulder, but Keith throws you off.

"How about we let her decide, hmm?" He turns back to Melody with a great big smile. "How about it, doll? I promise to give you a nice big orgasm if you come back tonight."

Melody looks to Keith, then to you, then back to Keith. Slowly she opens her mouth and takes a deep breath.