Anna and Elsa feel the Weight of Wanting

Anna’s POV

The sauna was silent except for the occasional crackle of heated wood and the gentle drip of condensation along the walls. The air hung thick around them, pressing close and curling with steam that clung to their skin.

Anna leaned back, stretching her legs slightly, but her mind was anything but relaxed.

She kept sneaking glances at Elsa.

It wasn’t intentional, not really—but she couldn’t help it. There was something…entrancing about seeing Elsa like this. Her pale skin glistened in the sauna’s heat, the soft glow of candlelight highlighting the delicate angles of her face. Strands of damp platinum-blonde hair clung to her collarbone, and her usually poised expression was softer now, lost in thought.

For a brief, treacherous moment, Anna felt her heart skip a beat.

She sucked in a quiet breath and immediately scolded herself.

"Get a grip, Anna."

This was just her sister. Beautiful, powerful, composed Elsa, who was finally allowing herself some peace. That’s all.

So why did it feel so…different?

A voice in the back of her mind kept trying to whisper a truth she wasn’t ready to face. Ever since her unexpected divine ascension, unwanted but insistent notions she wouldn't have bothered to dwell on about the world—of love, of connection—had been besiging her. She had tried to ignore it, rationalize it, push it away, but the voice kept creeping back. "It’s not taboo anymore," it murmured. "Not for you."

Anna swallowed hard and shook her head slightly, as if physically forcing the thought from her mind. "No. Nope. Not going there."

**** for a distraction, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Hey, Elsa?”

Elsa stirred from her thoughts, turning toward her with a small, curious tilt of her head. “Yes?”

Anna opened her mouth—then realized she had no idea what she was about to say. She had spoken too soon, hadn’t actually thought of a question.

"I need to stall," She thought to herself frantically, "quick, say anything!

“I, uh…” she faltered, her mind scrambling for a topic. And because fate clearly had a cruel sense of humor, the first thing she landed on was...

“Have you ever seriously thought about marriage?”

Anna barely resisted slamming her palm into her forehead. Seriously?!

Elsa blinked at her. “…Marriage?”

“Yes,” Anna said, forcing herself to sound casual as she stretched her arms behind her head. “I mean, I know you’ve had a lot going on, but you are about to be queen. Have you ever thought about it? Not just in the ‘I have to because of royal duty’ kind of way, but like…really thought about it?”

"Great job, Anna," She said silently as she chastised herself. "If you wanted to avoid certain thoughts, why did you just steered the conversation directly into them?"

Elsa exhaled, leaning her head back against the wooden wall behind her. “I didn’t let myself.”

Anna frowned. “What do you mean?”

Elsa let out a quiet chuckle, shaking her head. “You dreamed about love, I know. You chased it, believed in it, wanted it more than anything.” She glanced at Anna with a small smile. “I envied that.”

Anna blinked, caught off guard. “You envied me?”

Elsa nodded slightly. “Because I never let myself want it.”

Anna stayed quiet, her fingers gripping the towel over her lap as she listened.

“I never thought about what marriage could be,” Elsa admitted, shifting slightly. “I only ever thought about…what could go wrong.”

Anna’s chest tightened.

“I imagined what it would be like,” Elsa continued, her voice quieter now. “Not in some fairytale way, not in a way where I was excited about it. Just…logically. I knew I would have to. I knew I’d have to provide an heir one day. I knew the council would expect it.”

She swallowed, looking down at her hands. “But all I could think about was how dangerous it would be. How reckless it would be for me to let someone that close. What if I hurt them? What if I froze them?”

She let out a small, bitter laugh. “I used to wonder if I’d ever even be able to touch my own children safely. If they would inherit my magic. If I would end up raising a child who was as afraid of themselves as I was.”

Anna’s stomach twisted at the words as she realized that Elsa had spent years terrified of the very thing she had idolized.

“And so,” Elsa exhaled, “I just…stopped thinking about it. I told myself I didn’t need it. That I would rule alone for as long as possible, that I could keep postponing it until I had no other choice.”

She turned, meeting Anna’s gaze again. “But now…” She hesitated, almost like she wasn’t sure she should say it..but then, she did. “Now, everything is different.”

Anna swallowed. “…Different how?”

Elsa let out a slow, unsteady breath. “I...feel like I can imagine it now.”

The words sent something sharp and unexpected through Anna’s chest.

“For the first time in forever,” Elsa continued, almost to herself, “I can actually picture it. Standing beside someone. Not as a burden, not as a danger—but as a cherished equal.”

Her lips parted slightly, her voice growing even quieter as a single tear dropped down the right side of her face. “For the first time in forever, I feel like I can give myself permission to want it.”

Anna’s fingers curled slightly against her towel as a realization crashed into her like a wave.

As she has been starting to suspect, Elsa had never let herself want love. Not because she didn’t deserve it, not because she wasn’t capable of it—but because she had spent her whole life believing it would only lead to pain. But now that she could want it…and because of her impulsive wish no less...she didn’t know how to even begin.

Anna’s throat felt tight, but she managed to smile. “Well,” she said, nudging Elsa’s bare shoulder lightly, “you’ll figure it out.”

Elsa turned her head slightly, their eyes meeting again.

Anna meant it to be comforting.

But for some reason, when Elsa held her gaze for just a second too long, something inside her twisted.

And for a fleeting moment, Anna couldn't help but wonder…

"Might Elsa see me as someone she could stand beside?"

A/N: I know that things may have been developing in a bit more of a slowburn fashion than some of you may like, but, well, I guess I am trying to try and make the flow organic and more believable. Plus, it's technically still Anna's first day as an **** Goddess, so an adjustment period makes sense.

More is coming as the story progresses, though, like this chapter hinted out more. Anyway, thanks for the support so far, and until next time.