An unexpected guest interrupts

Before I could reach a decision about what to do, there was a sharp knock at the front door of the apartment. All three of us turned to face it in shock.

"You didn't invite anyone else, did you?" I asked Kara.

"Of course not," she replied. With a frown, she squinted her eyes ever so slightly, something that I have learned meant she was using her x-ray vision. Her face paled, "Crap, it's Barbara!"

"Barbara?" I whispered, "What's she doing in Metropolis? What's she doing here?"

"I don't know, but maybe if we're quiet she'll think we're not home and leave."

If the second, more insistent series of knocks didn't make it clear that wasn't going to happen, the slight rattling of the doorknob that followed certainly did.

"Oh for crying out loud... Just a second!" Kara shouted, then turned to me and Diana and whispered, "I'll get rid of her. You go hide in the bedroom."

I helped Diana to her feet, who gathered up the discarded maid outfit then silently hurried towards the bedroom door. As she was slipping in the room, Kara hissed "Wait, take this!" and tossed her the tiara she had been wearing, which Diana caught out of the air just before closing the door behind her.

Kara took a moment to fix her hair before opening the door and giving her visitor a cold, "What do you want?"

I could hear the anxiety in Barbara's voice as she answered, "Hey, sorry for dropping by unannounced. I was in the neighborhood and... well, there's something I want to talk about. Can I come in?"

"Charlie and I are in the middle of a date night," Kara snapped, "Something I figured you'd know about, what with you having Wally spy on him at work and everything."

Barbara winced, "Yeah, subtlety isn't exactly his specialty. But no, he didn't. In fact that's kind of the thing I wanted to..."

"I don't have time for this," Kara growled, "If it's really that important, you can text it to me tomorrow."

She started to shut the door, but Barbara caught it before she could close it fully, "Some things can't be said over the phone. Please, just give me five minutes. Then I'll leave, and you can go back to your date night."

Kara looked back at me with uncertainty, a sentiment that mirrored my own. While I was obviously scared of Barbara finding out about Diana being here and everything associated with that, I also felt bad about turning away a friend of Kara's that sounded so upset. Not sure what else to do, I gave my girlfriend a noncommittal shrug.

Slowly, Kara stepped aside to let Barbara in, reiterating, "Five minutes. Then you're gone."

"Thank you," Barbara said, slipping in past the imposing Kryptonian. Upon seeing me she gave me a small awkward wave, "Hi Charlie. You're looking nice."

"Um, you too," I said back to her.

Kara sidled up next to me and put an arm around my waist while glaring daggers at Barbara, "So what is so important for you to tell me that you had to ruin our night?"

Barbara sighed and looked down at the floor, burying her hands in the pockets of her black hoodie, "I... well, I want to apologize for how I've been acting the past month and a half. More specifically, how I've been handling this whole... you and Charlie thing. It just seemed so... so unbelievable to me, and I've been so obsessed about finding out what was 'wrong' with it, that I never really stopped to consider that maybe there isn't anything wrong."

"Yeah, obviously," Kara scoffed, "It's not like I haven't been telling you that since day one."

Barbara winced, "I know, but to be fair, it is pretty weird. I mean, you fell in love with him at first sight, and he's... well, I'm not sure how else to put this, but he's kind of a nobody. I don't know what could have possibly attracted you to him. No offense Charlie."

"None taken," I told her, "I have a hard time believing she fell for a nobody like me too."

"Hey, you are far from a nobody," Kara said, giving me an affectionate squeeze, "Especially with how amazing you are in the sack."

"Okay, ew," Barbara said with a grimace, "But yeah, I just assumed that you or someone else had mind controlled her."

"Which is why you sent Diana after him," Kara interrupted angrily.

"In my defense, interrogating him was her idea. Wally and I just told her his work schedule, and where she could find him... which now that I say it out loud, doesn't really sound much better. But thanks to her, I know now that Charlie's innocent in all of this, which let me turn my attention to villains that might have possibly done this. In fact, the reason I'm in Metropolis now is because I was following a lead on Toyman I thought might be related. But it was a dead end, like all the others."

"Of course it was," Kara said, "Because I'm not being mind controlled."

"Yeah, I'm starting to come around to that now," Barbara said, finally looking Kara in the eye, "Don't get me wrong, I still think this whole situation is weird, but if this guy is making you happy, and he clearly is given how you talk about him... then I don't want to take that away from you. You're one of my closest friends Kara, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you or drive you away."

Kara slowly let her arm drop from around me, and looking over I could see that she was starting to tear up, "Babs..."

Barbara looked over at me, "And Charlie... I know I already apologized to you in the letter I sent you, but I might as well say again that I'm sorry for being so cold to you when we first met, and for being suspicious of you for so long."

"Oh, um, don't worry about it," I said to her, my stomach twisting into knots. As touching as I found her apology to Kara, I was starting to get worried that she would somehow find out about the Amazon hiding in the other room. And that worry was compounded further from the guilt I was starting to feel about what we were doing with her in the first place.

Kara however had a more immediate question for me to focus on, "Letter? What letter?"

Barbara looked over at me, "You didn't show it to her?"

Suddenly put on the spot and already nervous, I stammered out, "Um, well, no... uh, it was right after your fight with her, and I, uh, wasn't sure if showing you would make things worse or not, so I sorta... didn't. I'm sorry, Kara."

Kara frowned, though to my surprise she nodded and said, "Yeah, I probably wouldn't have reacted too well to it back then. You were right to not show me."

Barbara looked shocked as well, "Wow... I mean, yeah with the way you put it, it makes sense you wouldn't tell her. But I wasn't really expecting you to care about our friendship that much given the horrible first impression I made."

"Well, from what you wrote it was obvious you cared about her," I said, "She was really hurt that you weren't happy for her... and I care about Kara too. So if there was a chance of things cooling down between the two of you, I didn't want to ruin that."

Upon hearing this Kara gave me a big hug, "That's so sweet of you Charlie! Thank you."

I suddenly got an idea, "Actually, I think I might still have it in the bedroom somewhere. If you wait here with Barbara for a minute, I could get it for you."

"That'd be wonderful!" Kara said with a beaming smile, before whispering, "But what about..."

"Don't worry, it's not hidden in the same place as your 'toys'," I said, hoping she'd pick up on my double meaning.

I'm still not sure if she did entirely, but Barbara certainly didn't, as she grimaced again and shuddered, "Oh gross! Come on, really? Last thing I want to think about tonight is Kara's 'toys'."

"Don't worry, that's the last you'll hear about them," Kara said, letting me go and heading over to her friend, "So, what was this 'lead' you thought you had with Toyman?"

Barbara sat down on the couch, "Well, I had heard a rumor that he had gotten his hands on some of the Mad Hatter's tech, and I figured that if he managed to figure out how it worked..."

Leaving the two girls to their conversation, I made my way to the bedroom, intentionally not making any effort to quiet my footfalls and pausing briefly between turning the knob and opening the door. The inside of the room looked empty at first, so I closed the door behind me and said in a hushed voice, "Diana, it's me. Are you still in here?"

The closet door slid open and Diana peeked out, dressed in the French Maid costume once more. She quietly asked, "Is she gone?"

"Um... well, actually, I think she and Kara are going to try and patch up their friendship. So, um... they might be talking for a while." After a moment I awkwardly added, "Which means you should probably go."

Diana frowned, "Are you sure? I can stay in the closet for the rest of the night if that's what you want. I don't mind."

I'm not going to lie, as disturbing as the idea of her being willing to hide in the closet all night was, I was seriously considering it. If Diana could pull it off, it would certainly be the easiest way to keep things secret, assuming Barbara didn't end up staying the whole night.

Of course, nothing in my new life could be that easy.

Diana's eyes suddenly bulged out of her hand, and she let out a loud, sensual moan. She immediately slapped her hands over her mouth, but the damage had already been done.

"What was that?" I heard Barbara say from outside the room.

"Everything okay in there, Charlie?" Kara shouted.

Terror swept through my body, and time seemed to slow to a crawl as my brain went into overdrive. What the hell was that about? And what was that buzzing sound...?

It hit me almost immediately. The vibrator! In the rush to hide Diana none of us thought to take it out, or turn off the timer it was on! Holy shit, I was going to get beaten half to **** because of a goddamn vibrator! That, or Barbara was going to get killed by one of the two superpowered heroines in a misguided attempt to cover this up and protect me. In all honesty, I didn't know which outcome would be worse.

"Charlie?" Kara repeated, a tinge of fear in her voice.

I heard two pairs of footsteps beginning to approach the door. Snapping out of my fear paralysis, I realized that Diana had already made a plan, and was springing into action.