An investigation

Okay. So I learned a lot yesterday, but that just leads to more questions. And answers can only be found with my parents. Apparently Sarah has been working to pay for college these past few years and refuses to accept any money or help from them. But… they knew enough about her to offer to pay for her college. Despite telling me they didn’t know where she went. And they helped me pick this college, and they helped me arrange the dorm room. And… yeah, there is no way being roommates is just a coincidence. Which raises the question, what the shit mom and dad? Why set me up for an emotional land mine, especially one of that proportion?

My mind swirls with possibilities but my eyes remain fixed and focused on my phone. Mom and dad are the only source of answers for this. I have to call them… eventually. I stare intently at my phone as it sits on my desk at the foot of my bed. Naturally, I am encased by my cuddle buddies on my bed as they cheer me on in my head. I squeeze Piplup tightly in one arm and Joltic in the other. Yes, a spider Pokémon shouldn’t be cute but I can’t deny Joltic is probably one of the cutest ones I have. And just like Joltic shouldn’t be cute but is, I need to trust that even though I can’t think of a good reason my parents set this up, there is a good reason for it. I just need to call and ask them. Right now!

I lean forward to grab my phone, but lose heart halfway and just flop on my face into Gengar’s fat purple belly. Should a ghost type be fluffy? I mean turtle type Pokémon plushies have soft fluffy shells instead of the hard ones they should have… so yeah I’m just asking myself silly questions to distract myself. Sarah is out right now and should be gone for a while since she’s training with the track and field team. This is my chance. I can do this, no more chickening out!

My phone begins to ring. Oh, well I guess I need to put off calling my parents until this call at least. And by then it might be kind of late there… I think? Which direction do time zones work? Any ways I can totally call them tomorrow. I pick up the phone to silently thank my savior and… oh god it’s mom. Why mom? Okay, okay, breathe. Not that deeply, that’s how I hyperventilate. Okay, I’ve got this… maybe.

I push the speaker button before I can think anymore about it and drop the phone so I don’t have to focus on holding it and can just cuddle Piplup and Joltic more. And I have no idea what to say. “Hello? Honey can you hear me? It’s your mother?” My mother’s voice sounds calm and comforting, and just plain normal. Of course she doesn’t know how awkward this conversation is going to get.

“… hi mom.” What else can I say? How do I bring this up? I’m doomed. No matter how I look at it there is no way to bring this up in a way that won’t end my entire universe as embarrassment causes my head to explode.

“So, how is Sarah?” What? Oh, right. If I need to ask her why she and dad set me up with Sarah as a roommate, then obviously she knows I’ve met Sarah. I can’t help but giggle nervously, both at the now inevitable conversation topic and also at my relief as the tension of having to bring up an awkward topic evaporates.

“She… she’s good. She’s doing track and field.” Joltic, I need you to shock me like an angry Pikachu if I start to back out. I’m counting on you!

“That’s good to hear! Me and your dad were thinking of sending you two some gifts. Probably a few more to Sarah, she’s missed so many Christmas’s. And to be honest, I doubt you have much room left for any substantial gifts in your space. Were you able to find room for all of your little friends?”

Victini, teetering on the edge for a while now, falls off the edge of my bed as I shift nervously. “Yes mom. I only brought four bags worth of them.”

“And I’m happy you showed such restraint. We’ve packed away the rest until you find room for them.”

“Mom, you touched my stuff! What, where are they? You can’t just put them anywhere! Are they dry? Warm? But not too warm!” A new panic seizes my heart as I imagine my plushie companions becoming moldy in the garage, becoming patient zeros for a plushie-mold-zombie apocalypse.

“It’s okay honey, we put half of them under your bed and half in Sarah’s room under her bed. Now the room can actually be used for other purposes. We aren’t going to damage your toys, we had to pay for most of them so we are fully aware of how expensive that large a collection is.” I relax some, but feel a little annoyed she thinks the primary concern is money. I would never sell my friends!

Now filled with righteous fury at the handling of my friends, I can confidently ask her everything, and keep pushing till I get all the answers! “… um, mom? I was just wondering, if you could tell me… why you didn’t tell me about Sarah?” The last part comes out in a whispered rush. She probably didn’t hear me. Oh well I tried, best not keep her on the line too long!

“Oh honey, we just thought you would be nervous meeting her again after so long. She was always so stand off-ish with you, but we could tell she would like you if she got to know you, and of course we knew you wanted to be closer to her too.”

This makes a lot of sense. I guess I was overthinking things… oh god no. I hear Sarah outside the door. She shouldn’t be back this early! I’m lucky she seems to be talking to someone before coming in, or I wouldn’t have had any warning. “Uh, okay great talking to you Sarah’s here so bye talk to you later…” I rush out my words trying to end the conversation immediately.

“Well hold on honey, I haven’t had a chance to talk to Sarah in a long time.” Oh come on mom. Why would you put me in the middle of this! Call her phone yourself, don’t hold me hostage and make me listen to this. “Sarah changed her phone number some time ago and forgot to tell us her new number.” Mom is nailing the useful exposition dump, something I would be more appreciative of if Sarah hadn’t just walked in looking like she might **** me where I sit. I hunch down lower, hoping to vanish behind Piplup.

“I didn’t forget anything.” Sarah’s voice makes me cringe at the animosity she’s managed to infuse it with.

“Oh Sarah, glad to hear from you!”

“Why’d you make Samantha room with me? You know damned well I shouldn’t be rooming with anyone.” Wait, what? Now I’m confused again. Why does everyone seem to know what’s going on but me?

“Well, you know me and dad would…”

“You’re not my mom and dad.”

“Oh yes, sorry dear. I’m used to talking to Samantha. But regardless we both want to give you as much as we possibly can. And we know how much Samantha idolizes you. We just thought you would be able to get a lot of… benefits, from having her available to you. Especially considering your condition.” Alakazam, where did I put him? I need his brains and psychic powers, because I am lost. What benefits does my awkward cry baby butt bring to the table? And what condition? I’m definitely not drawing attention to myself by asking though. It may be my phone, but I will just continue to try and subtly disappear into my plushie pile. Me, a part of this conversation? Absolutely not.

“… so let me get this straight. You sent Samantha as, what, some kind of present for me? To do with as I please? What type of shit parents are you?” She still sounds pissed, but also… amused?

“Of course not. That would be wrong. But, well, Samantha doesn’t handle new people, or new places, or new anything really, all that well and we trust you to keep a firm hand on her. If you want to think of it as being able to do what you please with her, that’s fine. She needs someone strong and you need someone soft. I don’t see anything wrong with making sure you both have your needs met.” Mom sounds really defensive. I scrunch my eyes closed. Disappear. Disappear. I don’t want to be here!

Sarah… laughs angrily. I didn’t know that was possible. “You’re both shittier parents than I thought. Tell you what, stay on the line.” I feel Sarah grab the little upwards hair fluff on the back of my head, and she pulls up. I come up out of my pile of friends like a carrot being pulled from the ground. I peek one eye open to look at Sarah. She’s grinning at me in a way that makes a shiver run up my spine. “I want you to hear me fuck your daughter.”

The phone remains on, but mom stops talking.