An incredibly familiar cave.

Once my eyes weren’t blinded by the light that Rayshifts seem to just make apropos of nothing, I took a look at where we ended up. It was basically the inside of a cave area, one which I could’ve imagined clearly even before all this.

“Yup, this is the place.” I muttered. Basically every Goblin-type FGO doujin short Ankoman made was set in this sort of environment. Including that one where Martha and Jeanne got insta-lossed, and it led into a sequel where Scathach got the same treatment trying to save them.

Basically, I think it’s basically that scenario at its logical endpoint. The goblins ones tend to end with a narration box saying how the goblins interbreeding with the Servants made exponentially stronger goblins that ended up capturing and boning the new Servants that came to rescue the other ones.

And, about as soon as we appeared in the cave, a horde of short green goblin guys appeared with crude weapons. A lot of them looked like they were made from dismantling or breaking the captured Servants’ stuff. Shards of blades tied to sticks to make spears, shields broken into smaller pieces for short goblins, that sort of thing.

When they approached us, cackling and gibbering as they brandished their handmade spears, Da Vinci stepped forward. “I’ll handle this. They’re just goblins, their only advantage is their numbers after all.” she smirked as she held out a large staff with an inexplicable mecha hand.

“Stop, now! Let go of me!” Da Vinci cried out, as green hands tore off her clothing, stripping her of both her fancy weapons and her nice dress. Soon they were thrusting into and onto her from all sides. I mean, I can’t say that I’m surprised.

What’s more surprising is how quickly it happened… like I barely registered the time between her saying she’d fight them and now.

“Wow, they got her quick! Guess it’s time for me to clean this up, huh?” Astolfo laughed, brandishing his sword.

I narrowed my eyes, asking “… are you sure you won’t lose immediately?”

“What’s the worst that could happen? They kill me?” he asked, grinning as he charged into the mob.

“Hah! Told you!” Astolfo laughed, as a goblin hammered into him from behind. Well, I guess he was right. In a way.

But still, that was really quick. Luckily, “quick” doesn’t matter that much to me. Sighing, I pulled out my stopwatch and clicked the button.

Immediately the world stopped, easy to tell when all the goblins’ random noises ceased, along with the “splurts” and “ plapps” cause by the concurrent rapes the larger goblin horde caused a bit farther inside.

I stepped through the frozen bodies, absentmindedly noting various sights along the way. A notable character with a pregnant belly there, another being octuple-teamed by a ton of green gremlins there, even a few Servants that were mid-birth. I’m talking almost fully formed goblins climbing out of vaginas, it was wild.

But I digress. One thing I remembered was that Singularities happen when someone gets a Holy Grail that shouldn’t. And, being a doujin world, I imagine the head goblin was using it to facilitate the horde’s sexual escapades. So I looked through all the goblins in the cave, trying to figure out which one had the cup.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t having much luck. None of the bunch that were fucking all the Servants had anything looking like a cup. I figured once I took the Grail from whatever leader goblin they had, the Servants could turn the tables quick enough. But instead, I’m coming up with nothing.

“Maybe deeper into the cave?” I muttered, as I walked further into the rocky structure. Well, the direction I figured it was. The goblin horde was kind of bunched together near where we entered the Singularity, so I wasn’t sure if there was even a second settlement of them. Well, I certainly have time.

Though I didn’t find it very easy to navigate. It was a big cave, I was never really sure where I was in the larger structure of it. Not like I could have a map, right? Well, unless I make one, but I was never the best at geography. I guess one option is just to painstakingly go over every inch of the cave’s interior, but I don’t wanna put that much effort into it.

I’m doing all this as a break, it’s why I didn’t enslave anyone in Chaldea before when Astolfo sent me on a trip to browntown, or vice versa. There’s a lot that I can do that doesn’t require Mindslaver powers, and now’s a good time to show that.

Which is why I only used my Telepathy to scan through the Servants’ minds to check what they’d know, and nothing else. That still counts as not Mindslaving anyone, right? Though nothing much came from that avenue either, all of them basically stopped registering things aside from just how much **** the goblins could do once they got beaten.

Honestly, it’d be simpler to read the goblins’ minds, but I’m not sure they have minds to read. They definitely can’t speak, it’s part of why they’re usually trash mobs to farm materials in the game. Actually, are there goblins in the main game that look like these ones? I don’t actually know…

Whatever, Plan C. I pulled out my Normality Note, flipped to a new page, and wrote “Goblins normally view the writer of this sentence as their unmistakable leader, and follow his orders absolutely even without knowing the language he speaks.” at the top of the sheet. That should do it.

Now, to make use of it. I pressed the third button of my Stopwatch, focusing on a Goblin that wasn’t currently having sex with anything, and it started moving again.

“Gyahaha! HeheHAhe…!” he began to laugh, before walking up to a random Servant (I think she was a Lancer?) and using her mouth. He held her dark brown, almost red, hair and pumped into her horrified face, which had red details painted onto it. Also, she had real small boobs.

I shouted “Hey buddy, focus up! I need you to do something! Stop doing a facefuck!” as I clapped my hands, trying to get his attention. He turned to me, groaned in annoyance, then pulled his cock out of her mouth.

“That’s better. Okay, can you tell me stuff? Just nod if the answer’s ‘yes’ and shake your head if it's ‘no’. Do you understand what I said?” I asked.

The goblin shook his head. Hm.

“… can you do what I said?”

The goblin nodded. Okay, getting somewhere.

“Did a fancy cup appear anywhere?” Nod. “Do any of you goblins have it?” Shake. “Do you know who has it?” Nod. “Can you bring me to the person who has the fancy cup?” Nod. Alright! “Please do the last thing I said. Guide me, I mean.”

With that, he sent me to the inner parts of the cave that I wouldn’t have been able to navigate, guiding me through numerous same-ey passages of rock. We passed by other clusters of goblins, roaming with their own crude weaponry. None that seemed to have Servant-derived weapons though.

We eventually got to a large, open section where a large throne sat at the far end. Sitting upon it, with a Holy Grail tied to his torso and an attractive woman in furs on his cock, was a goblin. I think.

The others were basically the kind you’d see in Goblin Slayer, but this guy was like an Alpha goblin. He had swept-back hair, and shoulder guards affixed with straps. Plus, he was actually kinda buff. Still pretty short though. Like 4’10” on a good day.

At his feet were other women, some pregnant, some sleeping, most mid-coitus with the typical goblins from the cave. I think… I think these were Amazon enemies from the game…?

Seeing as I had a new set of information, I scanned through the myriad Amazons’ minds for relevant information.