Amaya gives a guest lecture au natural.

Amaya sidestepped the desk and opened the door next to the teacher. She entered the featureless hallway of the anthropology department and moved sluggishly, her face glowing like a lighthouse. She made a mental note to never visit the department again, and to look up “epistemology” on the dictionary when she got back.

“A-at least I’m close to my dorm… where’s the damn exit?” Amaya looked at a door at the end of the hallway. An E was almost scratched out above it.

“E for exit, right?” Amaya opened the door. The little piece of her soul that so far had stubbornly held on, straight up flew out from her mouth when she entered. It wasn’t the Exit, it was classroom E.

“Ah, and who’s this late bird?” the professor, a stylish young man with a strange accent, directed the class's attention toward Amaya. Every head turned to stare at her. At the naked, disheveled, slightly muddy, and perpetually blushing, Amaya. Their eyes traveled the length of her exposed body from her feet, passing by her pink nipples and finally settling on her flustered face.

“Oh, my apologies. You must be our guest lecturer. I see that you got... in costume.” Huh? Guest? What the hell was the teacher talking about? Amaya read the title of the class on the chalkboard.

“Fucking damnit.”

“Anthropology 101: The Dawn of Early Men.”

“So, ready to come take the podium and explain to the class exactly how our ancestors survived before the rise of civilization?”

What? Take the podium? In the nude? Amaya had to run away! She couldn’t!

… so then why couldn’t she stop walking? Why did her legs decide to take her towards the front of the class? Could she really not say no to a professor? Maybe Amala was right. She was too much of a teacher’s pet.

As much as her soul yelled at her from above to stop, Amaya eventually reached the podium. She took another gander at the class, her toes curling on their own. Everyone was staring at her. In class. Naked. Like that nightmare she used to have. Not only that, but they were silently laughing at her, rudely pointing at each part of her body as if she were a specimen under the microscope.

The class got louder and rowdier until the teacher took the word.

“OK, settle down everyone. We are all technically adults here. Now, can we please give our guest a big round of applause?” The class politely clapped. Amaya returned them a wry smile and a shy wave. “Now, miss, take it away…”

“Err, right. Anthropology, the s-study of early humans… B-back when we lived in caves…”

“Didn’t that theory get largely disproven by now?” a student whispered quite loudly.

“Yeah, dunno what she is talking about.”

“...B-back then, we had to, err, fight the dinosaurs to survive. We didn’t wear clothes because, err, their scales were too hard to work with! So everyone had to walk like this everywhere.”

“Dinosaurs?!”

“T-that is until we, erm, we invented spears and killed them all. No, wait, a meteor did that, did it not?”

“I’m going to cut you right there.” The professor interrupted. “You get an A for effort, but F for knowledge. I know you are doing this for extra credit, but I’m going to have to talk to the dean about your little show, miss, err? What was your name?”

Amaya blinked three times. “My name? Err, Amala Singani. Yep, that’s who I am. Amala with an L, not a Y.”

“Miss Amala, you are a terrible representation of an early woman and an insult to our field of study.”

“Well, of course I’m a terrible cavewoman!” Amaya shouted. “Just because I’m naked doesn’t mean I’m some sort of primitive woman! Do you think people would go naked everywhere if they had a choice? No, it sucks!”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Look at me! I’m covered in more mud and dust than a broom, I feel yucky and want a bath! My feet hurt from walking everywhere barefoot, and they are super cold. Not to mention I’m pretty sure I have a couple of bug bites where no one even touched me before! Being naked sucks. Honestly, I’m beginning to think we invented civilization just to make some goshdarned clothes.”

“Huh, you do make good points. The usual depiction of a primitive human as little more than naked money is very wrong, as we all know. You quickly pointed out the flaws with thinking that everyone went naked all the time… was that your intention all along?”

“…yes.”

“Good, well, thanks for your input. Want to stay and discuss with the class?”

“No… I’m sorry, but I have to go… study some epistemology.”

Event: Speech Mishap

You accidentally enter a class on anthropology. The professor mistakes you for the guest lecturer, thinking your nudity is part of your class on early humans, and urges you to take the podium.

Difficulty: Hard.

Effect: Failure: Lose 2 DP as you become a stammering mess and fumble your presentation.