Almost the same, with a Twist

The game started with a the logo of Indie group, UnRealSoft, and transitioned into the start screen. As expected, it was filled with girls of a 2d persuasion, oohing and aahing as an unseen figure sent a signal from its device, resulting in the stimulation of the girls erogenous zones. Perfect. I selected Start, and the game began.

A busty little angel with cat-ears named Mumu appeared on the screen, and began a lengthy monologue about how I, out of all people, was deemed to be the most fit to receive this device, as to cure my loser ways and fulfill my deep, dark fantasies would be the most strenuous beta-test possible.

"Thanks for hitting so close to home, game." I muttered

Suddenly, the conversation took a turn for the direct.

So, Mickerson-sama of age 18... I'll call you Mickey-san... I can see you are a very misunderstood teenager, with an incredible aptitude for persuasion, smoothness, and mystique... Online!

Oh, but I jest, I jest. Lets see here... you do not look so bad from here. Really, if you got over this attitude and learned a few tricks, you could get laid... This Century!

Ignoring the cheesy insults, the game now displayed a 3d model of me in my computer chair, and it knew my name. No other game was able to do either. I considered turning it off and consulting an online community, but I figured the damage was done. As long as there was a game underneath it all, I could care less if some hacker from Turkey was siphoning my bank account at this very moment.

Without further ado, let's begin!