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The City 7 Sheet

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Has the fizz fallen out of your fucktoy?

Is your office slut all limp and lifeless?

Spanky Dan’s Submissive Revitalisation Dojo is here to help!

Spanky Dan and his team of expert dominatrixes have been bringing life back into washed-up sex objects for years. They’ve seen thousands of used and abused sluts who just don’t seem to approach each day of cunny-sucking and constant fucking with the gusto they used to. With just one week’s course of trade-secret techniques and chemical concoctions, they can bring even the saggiest cocksleeve and most flaccid of flesh-dildos back to life!

Our customers can hardly believe the new lease on life their personal comfort companions or business morale workers come back with after such a short break from duties:

“I thought Daisy was a write off… We were already eyeing up replacements in the auction pages, but the prices just keep going up and up. So I called the number on the advert and, wouldn’t you know it… She came back swallowing cocks down deeper than she ever had before. I don’t know what Dan does to ‘em… but damn does it work!”

“I bought Andres for my husband a good few years back, as an anniversary present. We’d both been very happy with him for years… yet lately he just hadn’t seemed to be able to ‘get it up’ for either of us. He was very apologetic, but we really felt the cost of feeding and housing him was beginning to go to waste. Only ‘Spanky Dan’ stepped in at just the right moment! Andres can keep us both gasping for HOURS now… though he never speaks about what those big ladies did to him…”

So don’t waste another minute! Don’t get scammed by those ever-rising prices on the Algorithm’s public listings! Put some pep back into the property you already own and call Spanky Dan now on 07726-563-669!

Second-hand Subs:

F, 43, aesthetically 21, 3rd Class Office toy, Was left ownerless when company went under and reclaimed as part of bankruptcy proceedings. Given full refurbish of all holes and a new set of breasts. Practically good as new. $170,000 or best offer.

H, 29, presents as M, 2nd class bedwarmer, Given as a wedding present by husband's family, but came to me as part of divorce settlement. Too many sore memories of squeezing him between us. Very loyal and loving though. $300,000 to take home today.

M, 64, Presents as F, Aesthetically 40-something, 2nd Class Theatre Whore, Talented, if vintage, with all the distinctive traits of early submissive generations. Still puts on a very good show as a jaded, mature lady of the night. Can sing beautifully. Shame we can't afford to keep her. Looking for a home with a specialist collector who still knows how to appreciate such artistry. Price to be discussed.

M, 35, Aesthetically 25, heavily modified, Qualified personal trainer, Previous owner bought him away from a public gym for personal use. Seems to have made many black-market, Algorithm un-approved alterations and additions. Has two, permanently erect phalluses that produce far more ejaculate than average. Muscular build is impressive to say the least, but mental cognisance… less so. A good companion for a lady with very specific wants. Has been approved for resale, but requires additional licensing. $450,000.

Lost and Found:

Lost. Little sub boy, 5'3", short brown hair, answers to 'Annabelle'. We took him on a day trip to the inner-city beaches and must have been a little too ****… because by the end no-one could remember where we'd left him. We do hope the poor thing’s not still buried in the sand. $1000 for any information that leads to recovery.

Found. The 3rd class redhead girl from last week. Was found hanging by her wrists and ankles in a derelict warehouse, leaking cum from every hole. Must've been stolen by some Dropouts for an evening of fun. Is currently being kept in the office of the lot's security. If left unclaimed, will become property of Securicorp.

Found. Hermaphrodite puppydog. Complete with tail plug and attachable ears. Doesn’t seem to remember how to talk, just pants and barks. Surprised they aren’t chipped, considering the level of training and modification. Was huddled up in our doghouse this morning with Spot… think they might have a thing for one another.