Adam walks away

"I'm sorry Winlay." Adam grunted as he turned away from the young woman. The sight of her naked breast's pale skin red from his rough use and peaked with nipples tight with arousal filled him with both shame and desire.

"Don't be sorry, Adam!" Winlay seemed to glow with newfound brilliance, and unlike Adam did not seem at all disturbed by the evidence of Adam's lack of control. "I'm not." She added with a hint of defiance in her tone.

"I have to go." Adam tried again to pull away from the temptation that Winlay presented. If he stayed alone with her any longer he might give in and completely betray the last bit of trust that this naïve initiate had in him. He could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes, but she nodded silently as he pulled his clothes back on. He turned away and stepped silently through the door, hoping (and fearful) that she'd say something, anything that would give him an excuse to turn back.

The next two days were the hardest Adam could ever remember, worse than the early training he received from the old Chevalier sword master, worse even that the two days of prisoner survival that the Templars put him through at the end of his first year of training. He was trapped in the small apartment with three of the people he cared most about in the world, but nothing was right, and nothing he did could fix it.

Adam's attempts to justify why he couldn't take her in his arms had failed to convince Winlay. The words had sounded abrupt and self-rightous even to his own ears as he tried to explain, the more he tried the more he hurt Winlay and there was nothing he could do to mend the damage. Not as long as they were trapped in this tiny appartment with an uncertain future ahead.

The three rooms were far too small to avoid Winlay, he tried once more to talk to her but he couldn't find the words. What do you say to the woman whose life you've stolen. Because of him Winlay would never live her calling of being Sister Winlay, lightbringer of the Church of Xelta. Instead she would be labeled a heretic, and hunted on both continents and all twelve island chains of Pandora, if captured she'd be handed over to Beldan and his Templar bastards. Adam's fists clenched and his jaws tightened painfully whenever he thought of Winlay and Mika falling into Beldan's fat hands.

Adam wished he could at least promise her that he would always be there for her, to protect, and love her as she deserved, but he had nothing to offer the young initiate. If only he could have asked her to marry him he would have in a heartbeat, but not even the assurance that they would face the future together was one that he could offer. Was there even the slightest chance that the Chevalier-lords might let him resign? If they did, could he settle down on some quiet little island to live out his life as a fisherman or blacksmith, while Winlay weeded her garden and looked after their children?

Many times during the long boring wait he marvelled that he had been able to resist Winlay's offer, in that he had acted with at least a small amount of honor. Sex with the innocent initiate might have relieved the smuldering desire that tormented him day and night, but to steal her maidenhead on top of everything else would have been unforgivable. Winlay did not see it that way.

Confused and hurt by his rejection of her, Winlay barely spoke to him and nothing he could do would change that. Adam didn't dare hold her; every look, every touch threatened to explode into a repeat of the passion they shared that first day. The heat of his unfufilled passion was matched only by the heat that permeated the apartment. The only relief Adam found was in the small bathroom, he took cold showers two or three times a day drenching his body in frigid water trying to drive the desire from his mind.

Mika was no help either, Adam didn't know if Winlay told Mika anything about their encounter, but he knew Mika well enough that he was not surprised that she guessed pretty much what happened. Mika's normally cheerful attitude turned cold whenever Adam was near, it was pretty clear that Mika blamed Adam for Winlay's unhappiness, but no more than Adam blamed himself. According to Mika, Adam had done enough harm already and the best thing he could do for now was to leave Winlay alone. Several times during the two days of waiting Winlay and Mika would disappear together for lengths of time as Mika tried to cheer up her moody friend, but the tension between Adam and Winlay never really eased.

Only the Oracle was content during these days of confinement. Compared to the ten days he spent in the **** chambers of the Templar prison the warmth, rest and good food in the hidden chambers revived his health as well as his spirits. The puss filled scars on his back responded well the their treatment and by the time Sister Margaret entered the boiler room apartment at the end of the second day of tense waiting the Oracle was using a length of steel pipe to practice broadsword drills with Adam.

Sister Margaret lowered a shoulder bag onto one of the couches as she watched the Oracle with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Everyone!" She called, "Come in here so I can explain the plan to get you out of here."