A trip to The Crushed Weasel

"Well..." Isabelle drawled as she put a finger to her cheek. "There is one place that I've been dying to visit. The brochure made it to be quite the hotspot for travelers. What was it called? Oh, the name escapes me... I think it was something like, The Squashed Mongoose or something to that effect"

Texas visibly tensed at that moment. It didn't take a genius to realize that the location she was referring to none other than The Crushed Weasel, a saloon known far and wide as a watering hole for the meanest crooks, criminals, and felons in all the wild west. It was also named in "tribute" to the town sheriff, something that never ceased to irk Texas. Looking over at Isabelle's sweet smiling face, Texas felt hesitant to break the news to her that the place she had looked forward to visiting was nothing at all like she had read. The sheriff sighed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Ah well... it's actually called The Crushed Weasel, and trust me, it ain't all it's cracked up to be"

"Really? But the brochure said-"

"That's not- Look, forget everything ya'll read in that pamphlet, it ain't worth the paper it was printed on! Ah been there more then once 'cuz of mah job and ah can tell ya from experience that that place is a dump! The floors creak, the food's greasy as hell, the owner's rude as hell," she snapped before looking away and whispering her last complaint under her breath. "And they overcharge on whiskey..."

"Hm. That does sound rather unappealing..." Isabelle murmured as she stroked her chin in thought. For a moment it appeared that Texas had managed to dissuade the sheep, but that wasn't the case as Isabelle's smile returned. "Well, it would be improper of me to dismiss the establishment without having patronized it myself. For it to be featured so prominently in advertisement, there must something to it, perhaps some sort of rustic charm that draws attention from locals"

"The locals?!" Texas repeated, her voice raising higher than intended. "There ain't no locals going into that place! You'd have to be plum loco to just to even be in that part of town! Listen, The Crushed Weasel is a cesspit fer all types'a lowdown varmints! It's dangerous enough for most folk, what'll you think'll happen when they see a dainty lil thing like walkin through that door?"

Isabelle listened to the sheriff's rant, only slightly surprised by the outburst. The prospect of being in the company of criminals in a saloon didn't seem to faze her in the slightest. Once Texas was finished talking, the sheep smiled and gently grabbed onto her arm. The sheriff blinked and blushed as Isabelle's delicate hands caressed her bicep and forearm.

"As troubling as all that sounds, I see no reason to worry. Not when I'm in the care of the strongest, bravest..." she paused and leaned, her last words coming out in a sensual whisper in the sheriff's ear. "...sexiest, lawperson in the wild west..."

Texas's legs nearly gave out from under her, her face turning a bright shade of red. Any coherent rebuttals she might have had in mind were flushed from her head at that moment. "A-Ah, well... ah wouldn't um... a-ah wouldn't say that... ah..."

"There's no need to be modest, Miss Texas. I've borne witness to your feats first hand. A woman of with your skillset should have no trouble dealing with a couple of drunken hooligans in a tavern, yes?"

"Y-yeah, but... t-that aint..."

Isabelle's smile wavered, her beautiful blue eyes staring deep into Texas's. "Please, Miss Texas? I promise to be on my best behavior! I'll go in, take in the atmosphere, perhaps sample their cuisine, and we'll be on our way~"

The sheriff bit down on the inside of her cheek as she wrestled with her decision. She had a point in that she was more than capable of handling any rowdy patron that would seek to bring them trouble, but when the entire bar is full of belligerent drunks who already held distain for her, there wasn't much she could do other than run and hope that Isabelle was smart enough to follow. That said, there was a fair chance that the two of them could enter the saloon without _too _much trouble. The handful of times Texas stepped inside on her investigations, more often than not they would regulate their harassments to dirty looks and with sporadic taunting. So long as it was made clear that she wasn't there to cause trouble, they would allow her to come in and out in one peace.

Texas took a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes. Every part of her objected to what she was about to do, but she had made up her mind. "Alright, fine... but ya'll gotta promise me that you won't go actin a fool while we're in there. You stay close to me at all times and don't let no feller pull ya aside, understand?"

Isabelle trembled with barely contained giddiness, her round face puffing up and her eyes growing wide. She leapt onto Texas and wrapped her arms around her neck in a tight embrace. Before Texas could get a word out, the voluptuous sheep leaned in and planted a big wet kiss onto her cheek.

"Thank you sooo much!" she declared excitedly.

Texas nodded in response, though she didn't quite catch the sheep's words. Isabelle's kiss had momentarily short-circuited the sheriff's brain, leave her a blank expression and a flushed face. She snapped back to reality as Isabelle latched onto her arm again, pressing it against her cleavage in a provocative manner. Texas tried to ignore as she lead the way to the bad side of town.

"Welp, here we are" Texas announced with very little fanfare. Their trip had been surprisingly uneventful save for the occasional wolf whistle thrown their way. The sheriff had hoped to discourage Isabelle's curiosity by immersing her in the environment that the Crush Weasel resided in and exposing her to the vile denizens that patronized it, but the sheep was completely unfettered, regarding the dilapidated buildings and the crude towns folk with her usual naive optimism. As they stood before The Crushed Weasel, her enthusiasm was stronger than ever as she eyed the establishment's exterior.

"It's just like the pictures... so quaint, so humble. The hostess must take pride in keeping it pristine" she pondered.

"Right... listen, just remember what ah said. Don't look at nobody, don't talk to nobody, don't cause a scene. In and out, no questions asked. Understand?"

"Yes yes, I remember" Isabelle said dismissively as she walked forward. Texas followed suit, swallowing nervously as she stepped in front of the sheep and placed her hand on the saloon doors. From the outside she could hear the sounds of laughter and conversation with a jaunty tune being played on piano. The instant she opened those doors, all of that went silent and she and Isabelle were greeted with the collective glare of dozens of large and dangerous looking bar patrons. Texas was focused on maintaining the stoic expression she always wore whenever she stepped through those doors, but Isabelle remained as clueless as ever as she thoroughly eyed the interior.

"It's so... quaint. Warn and comfortable... I can see why it's such a popular tourist destination!" Isabelle said with a wide smile as she stepped inside, seemingly oblivious to the leering eyes turning her way. The initial distain wavered and was replaced with aroused intrigue as the patrons eyed the stunning stranger that had accompanied the sheriff. Texas was somewhat relieved to see that they had taken so well to the sheep's presence, though that didn't guarantee their safety. She followed behind Isabelle, her pokerface holding firm as she would receive a few sharp glances every now and again.

She followed Isabelle as she sauntered fearlessly to the counter where they were greeted by the immense backside of the saloon's owner Annabelle, who was hard at work cleaning off the shelves with a filthy rag. Texas grimaced at the sight, having been exposed to it more times than she'd care to admit. Her heart nearly stopped when Isabelle reached forward and patted the cow's backside to get her attention.

"Excuse me, are you the owner of this delightful establishment?" Isabelle asked with a cute smile.

Steam flared from Annabelle's nose as she whirled around to deal with the unfortunate soul who had dared to touch her butt without her permission. She blinked at the presence of Texas but what really caught her off guard was the lovely young lady that had accompanied her. In her time running The Crushed Weasel, never before had Annabelle seen someone so clean and proper in her saloon. She placed the rag on the counter and leaned forward to meet the sheep's gaze.

"Depends on who's asking" she said with a raised brow.

"We ain't here to cause a ruckus, Annabelle. Today ah'm hear as a customer" Texas said as she adjusted the brim of her hair slightly. Annabelle raised a brow curiously. This would mark the first time the sheriff had entered the saloon as a paying customer. She couldn't help but be a little skeptical. It wasn't until Texas reached into her breast pocket and pulled out a fistful of coins that Annabelle realize that she wasn't kidding.

"So you're the famous Annabelle that the brochure spoke so highly of!" Isabelle said before offering the cow a polite bow of the head. "It truly is a pleasure to be in the company of a woman of high social standing such as yourself~"

Texas bit down on her inner cheek to keep from laughing. There was some truth to that statement. Despite being retired, her name still carried a great deal of weight among criminals. She could also lay claim to having one of the sweatiest and muskiest backsides in all the west. Annabelle snorted slightly, a smile spreading onto her face at the sheep's flattery.

"This one's got some manners. You could learn a thing or two from her, Tex" she chuckled.

"Whatever. Can we just order somethin' already?" Texas said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh yes. I have been dying to sample your world famous chili!" Isabelle exclaimed.

Annabelle nodded as she snatched the sheriff's coins from the counter. She stepped to the side and reached down, pulling up a large copper pot which contained the greasiest, most unappetizing chili she'd ever seen in her life. Texas stared in bewilderment as Annabelle nonchalantly grabbed a bowl (which looked slightly unwashed) from the shelve and deposited the vile food into it with a large wooden spoon. The sheriff glanced over at Isabelle expecting her to share her revulsion, but the sheep's wasn't the least bit shaken. Her smile remained prominent even as the bowl was placed in front of her, the smell immediately attracting flies.

"Bon appetite" Annabelle said with a grin.

Texas watched on in disbelief as the classy belle took a bite of the chili. Isabelle blinked a few times and Texas was certain that she had given herself food poisoning. Suddenly, the sheep's eyes lit up and ate another spoonful.

"Goodness me... this is... heavenly!" she cried in between bites.

"Yup. A pinch of cinnamon goes a long way, let me tell ya" Annabelle said as she held her head up with pride.

"Simply divine! Miss Texas, you simply MUST try some for yourself" Isabelle stated as she slid her bowl over to the weasel.

Texas grimaced as she looked down at bowl. Somehow Annabelle's chili looked even more unappealing up close. She glanced up, feeling the former crook's eyes leering at her with unspoken animosity. Texas had seen that look enough times to understand what it meant. Simply put, Annabelle was looking for an excuse to inflict punishment on the weasel and even the smallest of slights would set her off.

"O-oh, uh... ah would but... ah really ain't got much of an appetite today..." Texas said with an awkward smile.

"Oh but I insist! Just a sample, a spoonful! You wouldn't want to offend our hostess, would you?" Isabelle pushed as she took a spoonful of chili and held it to the weasel's face.

"Yeah, Texas. You wouldn't want to upset me, would you?" Annabelle repeated with narrowed eyes. "I worked my fingers to the bone to perfect my chili and I'd be awful sore if you turned your nose to my hard work..."

Texas swallowed nervously at the cow's not-so-subtle threat. How did she even get in this predicament in the first place? The plan was to bring Isabelle in, show her how horrible the place was, and usher her out before things got hairy. Now she was being **** to sample food she'd never even dream of eating! Not wanting any trouble, she took in a deep breath and steeled herself for the repugnant flavors that were about to stain her tastebuds. She grabbed the spoon from Isabelle's hand and shoved it into her mouth...

Her eyes shot open in astonishment. It... it was good. Amazing in fact! She shoveled another spoonful into her mouth as if to verify that her tastebuds weren't lying to her. It took a bit of willpower for her to keep from tossing the spoon aside and horking down the food in one sitting.

"Hot damn. This is pretty good" she said as she looked up at Annabelle with a bright smile. For a brief moment she forgot her disdain towards the bovine as she couldn't help praise her culinary skills. Annabelle smirked smugly and nodded. Catering to Gold Spring's underbelly was profitable but that wasn't enough to guarantee success. Her cooking gave them something to look forward to once they'd arrived.

"Where in tarnation did ya learn howda cook like this?" Texas asked.

"I was assigned kitchen duty quite a few times during my stay in prison" Annabelle answered in an almost accusing tone.

"Nice to know something good came outta of it..." Texas responded boldly. Annabelle huffed but kept her cool. Her imprisonment was a sore spot for her, but she would let it slide for the time being.

"Indeed" Isabelle cut in. "You've built quite the impressive eatery, Miss Annabelle. Texas was completely off base in her condemnation of this fine establishment"

The mood in the room immediately darkened at that moment. Texas began to sweat nervously as Annabelle's cordial demeanor disappeared, her icy gaze burrowing into the sheriff's soul. Isabelle was completely oblivious to the tension she had brought as she took another spoonful of chili.

"Is that right? You had something to say about my saloon, Texas?" the cow asked in a chillingly calm tone.

"W-well, a-ah just said that... that it wasn't my kinda place is all..." Texas stammered.

"My memory is a little foggy but I recall you saying something to effect of, 'the floors creak, the food is greasy, and the owner is...' hmn... I can't quite remember the words you used. Oh well"

Texas gulped, seeing the steam beginning to rise in the cow's face. Insulting her was one thing, but besmirching her saloon was the quickest way to catch the bad side of a beating. The weasel quickly stood to her feet and placed another fistful of coins onto the counter, hoping that the tip would ease the bovine's temper. She pulled Isabelle to her feet, though not without some resistance as the belle tried to finish her food.

"Well it's been nice visitin ya'll but it's about time we mosied on outta here...!" the weasel chuckled nervously. She turned around and was greeted by the sight of a half a dozen brutes standing up from their tables. Annabelle didn't even need to give an audible order to give them the greenlight to dish out punishment to the offending weasel.

"Fantastic..." Texas muttered under her breath.