A self-fertilizing hermaphrodite

You are a mutant freak, born with both sets of fully functional genitals that are able to interact with one another. When people tell you to 'go fuck yourself' you are quite happy to oblige them. In fact, chances are you were already doing so at the time they suggested it, given that both your cunt and your cock are insatiable.

Despite your constantly getting yourself off, however, you find you are lonely. Your massive set of tits has gotten you plenty of attention, as has your willingness to give head at the drop of a hat (or pants, as it were). But when it comes to move the relationship to 'the next level' either your cock or your cunt seem to get in the way.

And so you have come to the wastes, hoping to find a more understanding--or less picky--class of lover.