A new "uniform" for his old boss, the tour guide

Jake made another quick stop and picked up some supplies of an alcoholic nature. For free, of course.

Soon, Jake parked in front of the office of the company that fired him a few years ago: Mega Star Bus Tours. Barely any celebrities lived in this town, and the ones that did could barely be called celebrities, but somehow the old bitch that ran the place made money off tours of their houses.

Jake walked in and was glad to find Ms. Bender, the owner, behind her desk. The 70 year old hag had tortured him for weeks, then fired him for some lame excuse about pot detracting from his performance. As usual, nobody else was in the small, grubby office.

The office was pretty shabby, but that didn't matter since customers never saw the inside. The only things that looked good in the place were the pictures on the walls of Ms. Bender as a young woman. She'd been a swimsuit model half a century ago and never stopped talking about her glory days.

Ms. Bender looked up from her computer and frowned at Jake. “Oh. Great. You know, when I left the house today, I was just hoping and praying that a moronic delinquent would come waste my time. Thank you Jake, for making my dream come true.”

“Your dream?” said Jake with a grin. “You mean the dream where I bend you over your desk? Nah, I don't fuck wrinkled pussy.”

The old woman's face spasmed with anger as she heard the rude comment. Right as she was about to speak Jake wished that she'd always had a gigantic crush on him. He wished that the reason she'd always been mean was out of frustration over him not returning her affection.

A wave to lust rushed over the gray haired woman. Suddenly she could remember a hundred dirty dreams she'd had about her former employee. She thought about a time she'd caught him smoking pot in the bathroom and yelled at him. Only now she didn't remember him smoking pot, she remembered him walking in on her masturbating while calling his name, then yelling at him, trying to cover up her dirty act.

“You have no right to talk to me that way!” screamed the embarrassed woman.

“Oh yeah, rights, that's why I'm here,” said Jake. “You see, I talked to this lawyer guy. He said that because of all the stuff you did and the way you looked at me, plus the way you fired me, I could sue you for sexual harassment.”

Ms. Bender's jaw dropped.

“But I don't have to sue you. Maybe we could work something out?

Jake's former boss rubbed her wrinkled cheek in thought. She looked like she could pass out. “What do you want?”