A much less fun button.

The nurse spoke professionally but I still detected that hint of discomfort in her voice. "I'm going to push a button and I want you to tell me what you feel." She hesitated before pressing the button this time, but eventually her thumb pressed the little piece of plastic down into the remote.

Once again my nervous system lit up, but this time it was horrible. Pain burned every part of me and I felt like I was dying. The world was a dark, horrifying place full of pain and despair. All pleasant memories of the other button were extinguished as I cried out and writhed as much as my restraints would allow.

And then it was over, just like other button. As if it had never been. I was left panting, confused, and on the verge of tears. "What the hell was that??"

"Tell me what you felt."

"It hurt! It felt like every one of my nerve endings was dipped in acid. Like all good things in the world were suddenly gone. And I was alone and terrified and in pain." A pair of small tears leaked from my eyes as I spoke and my lip trembled. Being **** to put words to my feelings only strengthened them.

She nodded but her voice was anything but pleased. "Good, good. I have to do it again..."

I cried. "No, please!" But it was no use. Pain shot through me like a bolt of lightning, but just as the second time was more manageable with the pleasure button, this was somewhat less awful the second time. Still hurt like hell and left me feeling terrible.

Without waiting to be promoted, I told her what she needed to know, tears flowing down my cheeks. "It's just like the other one. Less intense. Please don't do that again... Please....we know it's working..." I caught the name on her red indicator. Lucy. "Please Lucy... I don't know if you've gone through this... but I will do anything you want. How can I make this stop?"

She shook her head. "No, you're the first for this."

"Please. Not again." My voice waivered, it was raw pleading at this point.

Lucy looked terribly conflicted, and I understood. If she refused them, what would stop them from putting her on the table instead of me. She was not a monster and she did not enjoy what she was doing to me but she had ****, just as I had none.

"I'm sorry." She said, and pressed the button again, holding it down for several seconds, just as before.

The pain was unimaginable. Like I was being pulled apart molecule by molecule. I screamed, I cried, I strained against my bonds. Nothing made any whit of difference until Lucy removed her finger from the button.

I sobbed quietly while Lucy picked up her pad and paper. She was about to ask me the stupid question, but changed her mind.

She picked up the remote again and mashed the button. I braced myself, but it turned out to be the good one. Relief flooded every part of my body and I broke completely, sobbing like a child. All the pain was gone, replaced entirely with only good things.

It ended and I blinked. "Thank you..."

"Please tell me about the third round of the discipline button."

I did. I told her how it threw a dark shadow over my world that made me afraid and cold and lonely. How it burned and felt like stabbing, tearing pain all over. How I wanted to never experience it again. I was prepared to do anything, for anyone. If disobedience meant going through that horrific experience, I would be the best-behaved little **** ever.

She took the notes and nodded. "Thank you, sweetie. I promise that's the worst of it. The rest will be easier."

Dear god. The rest of it? My lip trembled, remembering the discipline button.

Lucy was quick to stroke my hair and coo soothingly. "I promise, sweetie. Nothing will be as bad as that. You're doing so well!"

"Why do I need any of this? I'm a good girl. I want to obey. I don't understand..." I struggled to hold back my tears.

"I know, sweetie. I know. They showed me your file and said that you were a good candidate for these implants because you're so willing. I think they expect you to help them improve on the new product."

This was a reward? I struggled to comprehend how such an invasive procedure could be viewed as a good thing, but the rapid exposure to both buttons back and forth had left me emotionally raw and more than a little unbalanced. I didn't want to have to understand. It was hard. A **** shouldn't have to think so hard.

"So... I'm a good girl?" I asked, feeling a little silly. I didn't know what else to care about, or if I should even bother trying to have desires of my own, but I clung to that idea. I was a good girl; it's all I wanted for myself.

Lucy smiled warmly. "Yes, Danielle. A very good girl." She reached for something behind me that turned out to be a hand mirror. "Look."

She held the mirror up so I could see myself. I thought I looked tired, disheveled, unattractive to my eyes. And then Lucy tilted the mirror slightly and I saw it. A beautiful black satin band encircling my throat. My name embroidered on gold lettering alongside the name of the company that owned me.

"They gave me a black one?" I asked, feeling pleased by the development. Black bands were the highest honor. Corporate whores. The elites.

Lucy smiled again. "Yup. The CEO himself has requested you. You're going to have a very good life as his attendant."

I couldn't process all of it. I just understood that someone somewhere thought I was truly special, and that made me happy.