A dreary office

Apparently Heaven looked a lot like an office. God led me through a long corridor. We passed many doors, brass plaques informed me that they housed places such as the Department of Karmic Justice or the Department of Sainthood Discovery. Between every other door there stood a potted plant or water cooler. The ugly yellowish carpet reinforced the dreary atmosphere. ‘Are you sure this is heaven?’ I couldn’t help but ask.
God laughed. ‘Not what you expected, is it? This is the administrational part of heaven. From here all the angels fulfil their holy task. The fun afterlife you expected is meant for deceased humans. Although I’m sure you can join them on your days off. Ah, here we are.’
We had arrived at yet another door, apparently the Department of Guardian Angels. Was I a Guardian Angel? I liked that idea, looking out for someone seemed a whole lot more wholesome than something like dealing out karmic justice.

The inside of the Department did not differ much from the corridor. The ugly carpet was still there as were the potted plants and watercoolers. From the entrance I could again see hundreds of doors with a brass plaque. New were the black sofas standing in a U-form, the table with a plate of donuts and the coffee machine but what drew my attention were the people using those things. I barely listened to Gods explanation about the breakroom, I was too busy observing the new people. The only thing they had in common were the same white robes I was wearing. There were men and women, children, adults and elderly, there even was a tabby cat wearing a small version of the robes. They were lounging on the sofas, chatting at the coffee machine or carrying paperwork from door to door. I could see around twenty of them but I expected that most of them were working. Apparently I was just as interesting to them as they were to me. I saw their disapproving glances, no matter how much they tried to hide it. I could see them whispering but could not hear them. Had I done something wrong?

Only now I noticed the difference between me and them. I was barefooted while they wore sandals, heels, boots or other footwear. Pieces of clothing such as collars, sleeves or the bottom hem of pants were peeked out from under their robes while I wore absolutely nothing under my robes. Their robes were dry while my robes were still wet and clung to my body. Didn’t white clothes become transparent when wet? I did not dare to look how much of my body was on display. If I acted as if nothing was wrong they wouldn’t know right?

Again God read my mood. ‘Don’t worry about them. They disapprove of the new subdepartment you are going to be working for and so they disapprove of you. Don’t let it bother you, it is my decision which subdepartments ar needed.’
‘Can we just go?’
‘Of course, follow me.’ We again passed many doors, apparently heaven was not only dull it was also repetitive. The subdepartments we passed didn’t even have interesting names but just had a three letter code such as AMC or CDC. The only thing I could focus on was Gods swinging ass.‘As I said, your subdepartment is just created so you don’t have any direct colleagues yet.’ God continued. ‘That means you have the office to yourself. Ah, here we are.’
We had stopped in front of a door just like all the others. The plaques on the neighbours door read ELP and EUE, the plaque on mine read ENF.

‘What does ENF stand for?’ was my immediate question.
‘Embarrassed Nude Female.’ Gods face was completely straight when they said it.
‘Very funny, but what does it really stand for?’
‘Embarrassed Nude Female. They need a lot of watching over. Some people here think the ENF don’t deserve a guardian angel. If you think so too, I can move you to another department?’
‘No, no.’ I hastily said. ‘I think everyone deserves someone looking out for them. I just wasn’t expecting such a category.’
God grinned at me, obviously proud of me. ‘That’s the spirit. If you need help, both Victoria of ELP and Emily of EUE also lead small subdepartments, so they should have time to help you.’ It was good to hear that I could ask someone for help. Of course I knew I could ask God, but I kept getting distracted by their breasts, penis or ass. I realised I again had been distracted when God handed me a file. I had completely missed where they got it from. ‘Here is the file on your protectee. Take good care of her.’

The file was not as big as I had expected. Didn’t I need more information on someone if I were to protect them? When I opened the folder I was in for another surprise. I found not only information on my new protectee but also a face, or at least a picture of a face. The face was very familiar though. Slowly my hand drifted to my nose and cheek. ‘Why does she have my face?’
‘Well actually, you have her face. You were made in her image as the first humans were made in mine. It helps in better understanding and protecting her. Well, I’ll leave you to it then.’

God strode away, off to do godly things I supposed. I understood as God they had a lot of responsibilities but a little more guidance would have been nice. There was nothing to be done about it of course, so I stepped inside my new office while I again opened the file on my new protectee.