A dream

I did not get a good night sleep, to say the least. I tossed and turned and woke up in cold sweats. However, this was normal for me. I couldn't get a good night sleep for the past three years and there was one reason for this. During college, there were some weeks where I couldn't sleep. The most I slept was during that period was probably two hours. I would wake up the next day with bags under my eyes. Alarmed, the professors would pull me aside and asked if I'm alright. I would brush them aside and told them I'm fine. But I'm not.

The dream/nightmare always starts and ends the same way. I would look around myself and find that I'm back in high school.

Second half of senior year. The time where seniors don't give a crap after handing in their college application. The biggest worries for seniors was the prom. Growing up in this generation meant that popularity was everything. Unfortunately, I did not sit at the popularity table. I was classified as one of the school's nerd. Scrawny, socially awkward, and a face full of acne was definitely not helping me climb the popularity ladder.

At first, my best friend at the time, Sarah comforted me. She would say things like "You'll grow up to be a sexy hunk" or "Don't worry. Someone will like you."

She has been my best friend since pre-school. Her first day away from her parents got the best of her. I remember a short brunette girl sitting in a corner crying about her mommy. She came into the class during the third week of the school year. The teacher would tried to calm and comfort her, but to no avail. When I was little, I was very social. Naturally, I got up and walked away from my friends to play with the new girl. She must have been surprised to see me when I plopped down next to her. I gave her one of my 64 crayons and we drew together on a piece of paper. We had such a great time, drawing up stupid creatures and aliens, laughing at the ugly piece of work we created.

We bonded immediately. Noticing that I don't know her name, I asked for it. "My name is Jake. What is yours?" The little girl answered, "Sarah." with a smile. Eventually, the day winded down as our parents came to pick us up. Sarah slowly gravitated towards me as we left the school, waiting for our parents. "You have really nice eyes. Blue is my favorite color." she said. I smiled and observed her green eyes. "I like yours too." Finally, my mom came and picked me up. At the same time, Sarah's parents came to pick their daughter up. Both of us started walking down the same street and naturally, we started talking. I stopped at my house and stand at the porch. I wanted to see where Sarah lives. Turns out, her family was the one that moved in a few days ago at the old Jeffersons's house.

Fast forward to the second half of senior year and I was getting ****. I would ask out some girls to the prom only to be rejected. I was sitting in the school gymnasium's bleacher when I heard Sarah coming up. "Hey." I dejectedly said.

"Any luck?" she asked. I just shook my head. Now remember, this was a time where male hormones are raging. It also was a time where boys start noticing girls and Sarah was definitely one of the popular girls. 5'4" with silky brown hair. Green eyes and a nice ass. Her chest started blossoming into apple shaped breasts. Total knockout of a girl. Yup, all signs of a crush.

"C'mon there must be one girl that would accept you. Just you wait." she tried to encourage me.

"If only you knew." I thought.

I've made up my mind. I was gonna ask her to the prom. Turns out to be the worst decision ever.

The next day, during lunch, I would get up from the nerd table and walked towards the popular table. My heart pounded. People saw me walking towards the table and immediately perked up, wanting to see what was gonna happen. I tapped on Sarah's shoulder and asked the dreadful question. But I was met with "no."