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Chapter 3 by ohsoveryhorny

What divine boon do you choose?

A guide

The idea is so ridiculous you almost don't say it. It's a test, you think, a way to see how far you'll push things. But what have you got to lose? The words form in the space around you. "I want you to come back to life with me."

A long, long pause stretches out. You can practically feel the divine record-scratch.

"Wait, what?" the voice finally asks, all traces of cosmic authority gone. "You want... me? To come with you? Down there? With the… humidity, gluten, and the awkward small talk? Are you serious?"

The all-powerful being in charge of your reincarnation sounds less like a thundering deity and more like your boss being asked to cover a weekend shift.

"Are you sure?" the voice presses, a hint of desperation creeping into their voice. "I can offer you incredible wealth. An immaculate jawline. I could give you, like, a really great parking spot for the rest of your life. The world's biggest penis. Or maybe perfect hair? Let's talk about the perfect hair option."

"I'm sure," you project, feeling a surge of confidence you never had in your first life. "Let's do this. Time for round two."

You feel a sensation that can only be described as a cosmic, world-weary sigh. "Fine," the voice grumbles. "But you're buying lunch."

The nothingness dissolves into a kaleidoscope of color and sound, a fast-forward blur of birthdays and scraped knees, homework and daydreaming, all leading to one single moment...

Happy birthday!

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