A class from Knight's College happens by

You hear voices as it seems to you a large group of people are approaching. Of course, there is nothing you can do to cover yourself since you are chained to the cave wall, naked. Your clothes are about four feet away from you, lying in a pile, right where the dragon left them when he went to see what all the commotion was about. You stand there, quite befuddled, awaiting whatever happens next.

The light of several torches illuminates your cavern chamber as a large group of knights, all dressed in armor, enters and now stands before you. A tall, lanky fellow with pink and purple plumes on his helmet stands before you. He removes his helmet, and casually looks you over. You'd swear you've seen his face before, but you can't quite place it. Then you recall a movie you've once seen about the Holy Grail. Only this movie was a comedy.

"Greetings, princess. I am Sir Flamingo of Pink. Please excuse me while I address my class. I'll just be a minute" he says to you before turning to the group of knights assembled behind him. "So class, that is how we slay a dragon. Always remember a dragon's weakest point is right in the middle of the chest, between the scales. We'll have a quiz on this tomorrow. Any questions?"

You stand there, puzzled, thinking to yourself "This can't be happening."

A knight in the front row raises his hand.

"Yes, Fenwick?"

"Sir Flamingo, now that the dragon has been vanquished, when do we get to princess ravishing?"

"Bloody kids! They're always in a hurry to get to the sex part!" Sir Flamingo pauses for a moment. "Control your hormones, Fenwick. We've got other problems to contend with. The bloody dragon swallowed the key to the chains that bind the princess. Any other questions?"

Another knight raises his hand.

"Yes, Brumfiendel?"

"Sir, why is it all the princesses seem to be blondes? Aren't there any buxom redhead princesses around? Not one sultry brunette? I'd even settle for a punked out princess, or a gorgeous Goth! Why do we always have to rescue beautiful blondes?"

"I don't really know the answer to that one" says Flamingo. "You'll have to take that up with the Brothers Grimm, I'm afraid." He walks over to you. "But even though she's a blonde, she's a fine specimen of royalty, wouldn't you say so? Just look at those peaked breasts!" He lifts up your golden tresses so all eyes can get a good look at your tits. Your nipples instantly stand up. "She's got nice, sexy hips, too" he says as he caresses them. "Just look at those sexy, long legs! I dare say she could wrap those around you, and squeeze the life out of you!" Then he parts your thighs. "And look at this beautiful, pouting pussy. Notice the soft, round labia? And unlike all the other sluts we've rescued of late, this one's a virgin! She doesn't shave her pussy! I dare say you won't be catching any unwanted critters from this one!" He gives your soft mound and moist slit a feel. Then he looks at your ass. "If I could turn her around, you would be able to see her nice, sexy, round, heart shaped ass that is absolutely perfect for spanking after a long day of crusading." He turns again to address the class. "No more questions?"

A short, pudgy knight in the front row raises his hand. Flamingo sighs in exasperation. "Harold, don't ask. There are no Gay princes that need rescued. Please feel free to file a sexual discrimination suit with the Fairytale Writer's Guild."

Flamingo rubs his hands together, nervously. "Let's move on, shall we? Now we have a major problem here. The dragon, asshole that he was, swallowed the key we needed to set the princess free. Fortunately, modern technology has provided us with the ultimate solution. Sir Boffin, if you will be so kind as to bring up the red case, please."

A large, bearded fellow steps forward carrying a red case. You get a look at the front of it. There's some writing on it that says "Ye Olde Royal Sawz All." Flamingo opens the case. He pulls out a set of goggles, which he puts on. "All right everyone. Pay close attention." He lifts a large object from the case that, surprisingly enough, still looks like a sword. Only this sword has teeth. He holds it up high for all to see. "This, class, is Ye Olde Royal Sawz All, the Excalibur model. This blade will cut through anything, so you want to be very careful while using it. When you start cutting with it, remember to keep it steady, use minimal pressure, and never **** the blade, or you'll be replacing it. Now, everyone put on your headsets, please."

Flamingo puts down the saw, pulls a couple of headsets out of the case, and walks over to you. "Princess, this is for you" he says as he places them over your ears. Then he puts on a pair and takes the saw in his hands. He walks behind you, and you can feel the saw resting against your chains. You hear a loud, but muffled noise, and feel the vibration as the saw merrily cuts through the chains that bind you as if they were melted butter. You are free! The saw shuts off, and Flamingo stands before you. He removes your headset, his headset and goggles, and turns once again to address the class.

"All right, class. This is the moment you've all been waiting for: Princess Ravishing. Take careful notes, and pay close attention to detail. Ninety per cent of your final grade will be based upon our next demonstration."

Flamingo turns to you, and draws you close to him. He kisses you, and it's like no other kiss you've ever had before. You tremble and melt like butter in his arms. He squeezes you tight, and suddenly, you feel a pinch.

"Ouch!" you scream as you pull yourself away from him. You look down at your slightly red nipple.

"Sorry about that, princess. I forgot to take off my armor first."