A carrot

You look in the fridge and the first thing you see is a carrot. A big, thick, juicy carrot.

You should stick that carrot up your sissy ass.

"Oh, shit!" you exclaim aloud. No. Terrible idea. Unless...

You start stripping off your clothes in the kitchen.

Just a little bit.

You can't resist the hungry feeling in your asshole. You pick up the carrot and walk into the lounge room. You connect your phone to the tv and start to browse through the porn website. It's obviously taken into account your previous search history as your feed is full of sissy porn now. You select a video.