A bad idea

I downloaded Tinder, just for fun. I made an account with my middle name, just for fun, linking it with my other social media and setting it to not show me any of my friends. I, or rather, 'Jess', was terribly camera-shy and had no pictures of her face, just body shots. There was one in a sports bra and shorts with all of my gut sucked in, in a black dress, a very cute bikini, and in a bra and shorts. The last one I had to take then and there on my bed, carefully contorting myself to push the right stuff out and the wrong stuff in. Account made, I waited all of twenty seconds before I got my first swipes.

I myself started playing the game of hot or not, swiping on guys who were most certainly out of my league and not on guys who looked an awful lot like my boyfriend. I was pleasantly surprised when I started getting matched with them, barely half an hour into my online dating expedition. I didn't even once see anyone I knew either, including anyone my boyfriend would know. In came the messages ranging from good pickup lines to shitty ones to simply asking if I was down to fuck. I didn't respond to any, instead enjoying the volume of guys who definitively affirmed that I was hot. A short while later I was out of swipes and had just shy of a hundred matches. Not all of them had messaged me, but a lot had and of them a lot were very clearly interested. Offering everything from french kissing my pussy to bruising my uterus, these modern Shakespeares were itching to have a horizontal tango with me. I wondered how far I could go talking to them, what they would say, so I decided to reply to one right now and see.