A Midnight Drive

I picked Liam up at Sam’s house, texting him when I arrived. He exited the house like a burglar realizing the owners had returned. As in, from a window rather than the front door. I watched in bewildered fascination as he shimmied down the roof and carefully dropped down onto the front lawn—narrowly avoiding some of the pristine landscaping. He darted across the lawn to the car and jumped inside.

“Phew! Your timing couldn’t have been better. You saved my ass,” he said with a grin. My bewildered expression didn’t change as I looked at him. “What?”

“Any reason why you are leaving through the window and not the door?”

“Oh… that. Uh. Sam’s parents were supposed to be gone until tomorrow. I guess the place they were staying at wasn’t as great as they thought, so they cut their trip short. They got home about ten minutes after your call.” I continued to stare, waiting for the full story. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s complicated.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

He thought it over before glancing towards the house. “Only if we get a move on.”

Chuckling, I put the car into drive and headed off. There wasn’t really a destination in mind, so I got on the main street and simply drove. Liam was quiet for a good chunk of the drive to the highway. Only after I got on the outer belt did he speak up.

“Hey, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Ally.” That was a red flag that made me uncomfortable.

“I wasn’t planning to, but why the secrecy?”

He sounded guilty. “We didn’t tell Ally we were doing this.”

I risked a glance over at him and found his face matched the tone of his voice. “That’s… bad?”

“I… don’t know. Sam wanted me to keep it a secret. I kept trying to tell her it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I think she’s embarrassed and doesn't want to worry Ally.”

“So you two were…”

“It’s not what you think. I mean, yeah, there was an aspect of that, but we weren’t trying to cut Ally out or anything. It’s just—” He stopped suddenly, looking out the window. “I don’t want to dump this stupid stuff on you.”

“If it matters to you, it’s hardly stupid. You’ve listened to me complain about things plenty of times and I’ve been Kaylee’s listening buddy for years before we started dating. If there is one thing I’m confident of, it’s being a listener.” Silence answered me. “And know whatever you say will stay between us.”

He glanced towards me and let out a breath. “You know Sam isn’t that into guys, right?”

I nodded. “She mentioned that.”

“Well, Ally is. Part of the reason I was over at her house was to talk about Ally with her. She’s… concerned about their relationship. This whole, ‘sleep with guys’ was supposed to be an experiment to sate Ally’s curiosity. Now though, it’s clear that she’s not treating it as such. She is still a hundred percent devoted to Sam, of course. That isn’t in question. The problem is she’s sleeping with guys fairly regularly now. New guys. That puts Sam in the position of sleeping with them too or accepting that Ally is sleeping with people without her.”

“Has Sam told Ally this?”

“She has. Somewhat. Ally keeps brushing it off that it’s just a phase and things will go back to normal soon and Sam doesn’t believe that. She was telling me she’s noticed a change in her when they are sharing a guy. Ally likes it. Really likes it. So much that Sam doesn’t believe she would ever go back to just the two of them.” He paused. “Well, that isn’t quite how she phrased it. It was more… she doesn’t want to force Ally to go back to just the two of them. They have had great times together, but Ally has been thriving ever since she started sleeping with other guys and Sam doesn’t want that to go away.”

“But she also doesn’t want to sleep with all the guys Ally does.”

Liam gave a solemn nod. “Pretty much.”

“So why all the secrecy?”

“Sam wanted to run an experiment. Since her parents were supposed to be out all weekend, she wanted me to come over and…” He cleared his throat. “Well… uh… I guess the best way to explain it is… be intimate with a guy.”

“That’s different than usual?”

“Yeah. When we usually have sex, Sam is… I don’t want to say uninterested… hmm.” He paused to think. “Polite? Polite works. Like, she kinda just lays there and lets me do my thing. I’m making it sound worse than it is. It’s more… I know she isn’t into it, but at the same time, she never makes me feel like it’s a burden or I’m doing anything bad. To be honest, it’s really hard for me to stay hard with her. She’s such a great person, and I know she is doing it to be close to Ally and me, but I know that she’s forcing herself.” He released a frustrated breath. “It just sucks because I feel like there is no winning move here. If I just have sex with Ally, it feels like Sam is being left out of something important even if that totally isn’t what we are trying to do. But to include her means that we are basically forcing her to do something she isn’t completely comfortable with. I don’t want to do that to her.”

“Damn, dude. That sucks.”

“Yep. And Sam is like… the nicest person I’ve ever met and I feel like I’m this wrench that came in and destroyed her perfectly happy relationship.”

“Screw that. It sounds to me like this was always going to come up. If not with you, it would have been another guy and chances are that other guy wouldn’t have given a shit about them. At least this way, you can help the two work through this.”

He didn’t seem that happy to hear, slouching in his seat. “Christ. I’m not even dating them and all this… It just hurts. I like them so damn much and I hate how I played a part in all this.”

Never before did I wish more to tell him what Sam and Ally had told me, but I refrained. It wasn’t my place to tell him, and I don’t think this was the proper time to even bring it up. I had no idea how he would react to it or how it would affect things to come. It had just as much potential to do bad as good.

Instead, I went another direction. “What about the experiment? I know it got cut short but…”

He shrugged helplessly. “In the beginning, it was great. After you picked up the cake and Ally left, I took her on a proper ‘date.’ We saw a movie. Ate at that fancy Italian place downtown. We had a ton of fun and I could tell she enjoyed herself.”

“But?” I sensed that but coming a mile away.

He sighed. “Sex was… rough. Not in a good way. She was trying. Really trying, but it was obvious that ‘spark’ wasn’t there. We cuddled after, which was new. I think… she might have enjoyed that. I don’t know,” he said as he rubbed at his neck.

“Cuddling was new?” I asked, a bit surprised. Kaylee and I did it all the time so having sex without it seemed abnormal to me.

“With just one of them there? Yeah. We’ve done it a few times when it was the three of us.” He shifted his position, adjusting his seatbelt in the process. “I just hate feeling powerless about the whole thing. This isn’t something I can fix. Hell, I don’t think there is anything to fix. It’s not like anyone is doing anything wrong.”

We continued in silence as we retreated into our thoughts. I felt for Liam. In a way, I was familiar with what he was going through—to a point. Our situations weren’t identical, but I did find some parallels there. I didn’t have any words of wisdom or advice to give. Even if I did, I think I would have kept them to myself. For one, I didn’t have enough information to even help. He was the one who knew Ally and Sam best, and only he would be able to navigate what needed to happen. I wasn’t about to pretend I was some font of wisdom.

But I hoped talking about it helped. Even if I couldn’t outright help him—and I totally would if he asked for it—I could do at least this much. A sympathetic ear with no judgment or half-assed, ‘if I were you…’ bullshit.

“Say,” he said, breaking the silence after nearly ten minutes. “Isn’t this Kaylee’s car?”

“Yep!” I said, perking up at the change of topics.

He gaped at me. “Wow. You two must be serious if she trusted you with this. Never heard of Kaylee letting someone drive her car before.”

There was a strange tension in my neck, like two ghostly hands reaching from behind to steadily squeeze. “Y-yeah…”

I glanced over at Liam. He stared at me. I glanced back at him.

“She doesn’t know you’re driving it, does she?”

“She knows,” I said defensively. “She gave me the key after all.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s just a little detour. No big deal.”

“We’ve been driving for well over an hour.”

I glanced down at the time. It was almost midnight.

Crap.

“It’s a short-ish detour.” My hands tightened around the steering wheel. “I barely get to drive as it is. It’s either Kaylee or Paige driving these days. This car is so much better than the crappy one I share with Paige.”

“So we continue forward!” he said with the closest he could get to a heroic pose. “Another loop around the ‘belt!” I laughed and pressed down on the accelerator. Nothing extreme. I was only going about ten over and hadn’t seen a cop yet. Besides, the highway was practically empty now that we were in the more distant part.

We talked about some random things. Games, movies, whatever came up. It was a nice distraction from everything. Thoughts of Kaylee were on the back burner as I decompressed with the random stuff Liam and I talked about. That lasted another hour before Liam brought up Kaylee.

“How did last night go?”

“Hmm?”

He grinned knowingly. “Come on. It was your first birthday since you two started dating. Bet Kaylee pulled out all the stops.” Fresh memories flooded through me.

“Yeah…”

“And?”

“It was… nice.”

Liam frowned. “Nice? Nice? Come on…”

“Cake was good,” I said, trying to deflect.

“Uh-uh. I want deets.”

I huffed. “What are you, ten?” He said nothing, staring at me. It took me a few seconds to break. “Fine. It was… special.”

“There we go,” he said with a satisfied smile.

“That’s all you’re getting.”

He held up his hands. “Wasn’t asking for more. Only glad you enjoyed it.”

“Yeah… I think I did.” Wasn’t about to tell him the real enjoyment came this morning. I didn’t lie though. Last night had been special.

“So,” he said after the fuzzy warmth in my chest started to fade. “Everything going okay then?”

A dry chuckle escaped before I could stop myself. “About as well as your relationship.” A glance over showed he was waiting expectantly. With a sigh, I filled him in. I didn’t hold much back. I told him about Kayla. Kaylee’s desire to sleep with other guys. Charles. Just as I had, he listened quietly. He nodded a few times and made, ‘I’m listening’ noises to show he was still listening.

I felt a lot better when I finished.

Liam waited a few moments, making sure I was done before he spoke. “Damn. I’ve said it before, but I’m both envious and glad I’m not you,” he said with a laugh. “So glad Sam and Ally aren’t the sexpots Kaylee is. I mean, they are good-looking, but they don’t have that…” His words faded as he failed to find the word.

“Aura?” I offered. I knew exactly what he was talking about. There were a lot of girls who were around Kaylee’s level, but few of them had the commanding presence she did. I probably should have said charisma, but meh.

“Yeah, I guess that works.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“If you were dating Ally—just Ally—would you let her sleep with other guys?”

I glanced over to find him with a serious thinking face. “Hmm. Well, I don’t think I could stop her, you know?”

“You’re a C-rank though, right?”

“Yeah,” he said with a bitter expression.

“So you can theoretically have kids with her.”

“…I suppose so. Fertility treatments are a bitch, but yeah…”

“So there wouldn’t be any need for her to sleep with other guys.”

He was thinking again. “That tracks.”

“… So?”

“So… what?”

“Why would she need to sleep with other guys?”

He tilted his head slightly. “I suppose because she wanted to? Isn’t Kaylee the same? She certainly isn’t banging Charles because she likes him. Well, not in any meaningful way.” Reaching over, he gave my shoulder a light squeeze. “I get where you’re coming from. It’s not exactly fun to hear about the girls you like having fun with another guy.” I noticed that he used the plural form there. No doubt thinking of Sam and Ally. He shifted in his seat, a serious expression on his face. “And I don’t mean to sound like an asshole here, but you did kinda sign up for this.”

Surprised, I glanced over at him before quickly looking back at the road. “What?”

“Kaylee wasn’t exactly hiding her sexual appetite from anyone. She has a clear rep of going through guys on the regular. I mean, we sat with her at lunch for years and she was talking about a new guy every other week or so. None of this should be a surprise.”

“Well, yeah,” I said slowly. “But she was single then. Now that we’re in a relationship—”

“I think I see what you're circling here. Mind if I ask you a question?” There was a brief spike of fear. I let out a slow breath to regain control and gestured for him to continue. At the same time, my hands tightened against the steering wheel. “You liked her before you started dating, right?”

That was a rather simple question. One with an easy answer.

“Of course.”

“Then what’s the problem?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “It sounds to me like Kaylee is the same girl you’ve always liked. I can’t talk about specifics of course, but this is the Kaylee we’ve known since our freshmen year. She can pull wicked moves on the court, is a bit overprotective of her car, obsessed with grades, has a decent-sized fan club, and has one of the largest unique partner counts in the school. That is the girl you chose to date.”

Silence fell as I let his words sink in.

“Do you feel other men are distracting her from your relationship?”

I ran back the clock, digging at old memories. I couldn’t immediately remember a time I felt that way. It was hard judging before the ‘reset’ since I wasn’t exactly a ‘valid’ sexual partner. Since then, she’d always held me first and foremost. Of course, most of our new relationship had been with the two of us. Even after our discussion about her sleeping with other guys again, after that initial shock of seeing her and Charles together, I barely thought about it. I didn’t even know how much the two had actually been together.

“N-no,” I answered with a mumble.

“Is she emotionally distant or something?”

“No.”

“Do you feel like you aren’t in a relationship with her?”

Memories of last night flooded back and I felt my cheeks heat. “No.”

There was a slight pause. “Are you unhappy dating Kaylee?”

Memories brushed my consciousness in a flurry. In my mind's eyes, I saw all sorts of different smiling Kaylee’s. The way her face lit up as she laughed. The care in her eyes when she looked at me. Anger when I did something stupid. The vulnerability she revealed when we were together.

“No,” I said in a firm voice.

Liam nodded. “So here’s the thing, and I’ll use my situation instead. I like Sam. And Ally,” he added quickly. “They are special to me and I would do anything to support them. Let’s say Sam and I were in a relationship for the sake of argument. I know Sam isn’t going to change. No matter how much either of us may want it, the facts are she is never going to feel attracted to guys—at least not in the way Ally and other women are. So it all boils down to a hard calculus equation. Do the positives of the relationship outweigh the negatives? Knowing that I will never sexually please or excite Sam is a negative. Knowing that, if I were in a relationship with her, if I wanted her to be fully satisfied I would have to let her sleep with other women is a negative. Everything else though? Overwhelming positive. She makes me laugh. Being around her… It’s like I’m near a power source that constantly regenerates my energy levels. She’s so damn nice and thoughtful and…” He paused as he realized he was gushing. Clearing his throat, I could see he was fighting off a blush. “Anyway. If given the option, I would date her in a heartbeat. Yeah, sex would be a bit awkward and maybe even nonexistent, but I wouldn’t be dating her for that. I can get sex anywhere. What I want is what only Sam can give.”

I glanced his way before changing lanes. “So I think that’s what you need to do. I know how much you love math.” I frowned at him, earning a chuckle. His smile faded. “Kaylee is one of those girls who will always enjoy the attention of men and enjoy sleeping with them. I don’t see that changing and I think you know that too. That’s a huge part of who she is. So what you need to ask yourself is simple: ‘Am I okay with that?’ You need to crunch the numbers and decide if you are getting a positive from your relationship with her, or a negative. If it’s positive, great! You can work on little things to maybe improve that and know that even if they don’t work out, you are still in the net positives. If it’s negative…”

He didn’t expand on that. Didn’t have to. I got what he was saying. For a negative relationship, it was better to cut and run. I couldn’t imagine breaking up with Kaylee. The pain and hurt that would cause, but it made sense. A big blow was better than endless little ones.

“Thanks, man,” I said after a deep breath. “This has helped.”

“Really?” I nodded. “Well, I’m glad you got something out of that because I was talking out my ass the entire time.”

I snorted a laugh, shaking my head. “Well, your ass is very wise.”

Laughing, I set my internal destination to the ramp that would take us to Liam’s house. It was almost one and I still needed to fill up the tank and head home.